Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Short White Guy Will Dunk On National TV

Jacob Tucker, the 5'11" Division III YouTube sensation, officially received his invite to the College Slam Dunk Contest, to be held tomorrow night in Houston. You did it, you dogged internet voters. You made a young man's dream come true. (Not Rico Cunningham, the other DIII dunker nominee. You stepped on his dreams with your stiletto heel, and ground them into the pavement.)


After making a statement for short white guys everywhere, Tucker gathered 88 percent of the fan vote. We heard from more than one excited middle-aged female tipster — they've dubbed themselves Team Jacob — so we're obliging them by publicizing one of the only places white people are still underdogs in life: amateur dunk competitions.

The judges will be: Karl Malone, Calvin Murphy, Courtney Lee, Chuck Hayes and DeMeco Ryans. So yes, varying qualities in the lineups of both dunkers and judges. ESPN2! Tomorrow! Short white pride!

Short White Guy Makes His Case For The NCAA Dunk Contest
Short White Guy Is On His Way To The College Dunk Contest