01 Page 124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Warriors Are Math
The old-timey wisdom goes: Basketball is a matchup sport. I think I’ve heard Kenny Smith or various other Kenny Smiths say some version of this more than 200 times in my life. That is, basketball outcomes are not determined neatly along gradients of pure talent and/or skill, but rather by how varyin...
Maybe Being A Celebrity Isn't Cool
You might think being famous seems like a good time, partly because it is cool to be rich and adored and partly because you get to hang out with other famous people. “Look at that sweet pic of those famous people laughing and having a ball together! I wish I was them!” you think while looking at a s...
No Mistakes Allowed
Close one eye and squint with the other, and last night’s Game 1 box score starts to look like a positive one for the Cavaliers: The Warriors only had two players score in double figures; Klay Thompson and Draymond Green combined to shoot 6-of-28; LeBron James and Kyrie Irving did their thing. Open ...
Warriors Look Disgustingly Unstoppable In Game 1 Blowout Victory
For the better part of a quarter, the Cavaliers and Warriors gave us the gloriously competitive game these playoffs have so been lacking. Then Cleveland suddenly became unable to defend Kevin Durant in any capacity, Golden State looked every bit as unstoppable as they’re supposed to be, and it all w...
An NBA Finals Preview For People Who Want LeBron To Dunk The Warriors To The Core Of The Earth<em></em>
It’s that time of year again: 364 days and 23 hours since the end of the conference finals, the NBA Finals are here! The brave Cleveland Cavaliers will seek to defend their championship from the vile and heavily favored Golden State Warriors, whom they vanquished in last season’s Finals by coming ba...
Have You Talked Yourself Into The Cavs Yet?
I think we can all agree that last year’s NBA Finals was one of the best sports things to ever happen, and that it would be maximally good if the same thing—by “same thing” I mean LeBron and the Cavs banishing the Warriors to hell—happened again this year. If you disagree with this, then you are pro...
Old Man Deron Williams Can Still Play A Little!
Here is a lovely bucket from Deron Williams, in last night’s Eastern Conference clincher between the Cleveland Cavaliers and Boston Celtics:...
Show Me Your Favorite Marcus Smart Highlight
While watching the Cavaliers beat the Celtics in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference finals last night, I sent a rude tweet:...
8 Months Later, The Rio Olympics Keep Finding New Ways Of Falling Apart
The Rio Olympics, which started with an “uninhabitable” athletes’ village and continued on with a creeping green death in the diving and water polo venues, are finding new ways to suck months after the closing ceremony as athletes are finding their hard-won medals are falling apart....
Who Ever Could This Anonymous Lonzo Ball Source Be?
The Los Angeles Lakers received the second pick in the NBA draft this evening and the future’s looking up for the franchise. The team appears to be the most likely destination for UCLA’s Lonzo Ball, who is rated as the second-best prospect by most draft evaluators, and whose father said he would onl...
The Lakers Narrowly Avoided Total Catastrophe At The Lottery
The Los Angeles Lakers will get the second overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft, which is a fine return for a shit-filled season of tanking that very nearly went up in flames thanks to an inexplicable five-game winning streak at the end of the year. Not only is the team in the driver’s seat to pick Lo...
Here's How The NBA Draft Lottery Shook Out
The Boston Celtics advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and tonight, they won the NBA draft lottery and the right to choose between Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz with the top overall pick in the upcoming draft. The Lakers avoided catastrophe and secured the second pick, while Philad...
The Wizards' Bench Won Somebody A Spot In The Eastern Conference Finals
I guess if you want to pin the outcome of last night’s Game 7 on somebody—somebody other than repulsive unconscious three-bombing Canuck gorilla Kelly Olynyk—you can pin it on Scott Brooks and Ernie Grunfeld....
The NBA Rulebook Was Not Enough To Save Kawhi Leonard's Ankle<em></em>
Here is some bullshit:...
John Wall Kills Celtics With Perfectly Placed Dagger
Down two, five seconds left, season in the balance, the charred end of a night when his team hit 20 percent of its three-point attempts, a postseason in which home teams facing elimination were 0-10, the best defender on the East’s top seed staring him in the face, ladies and gentlemen, I give you J...
Oh Right, They're The Wizards
What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an imp...
John Wall Is Too Much
In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we...
If Kelly Oubre Jr. Is Suspended, It Will Be Because He Was Honest
First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the ...
The Wizards Got Out To A Huge Lead And, For Once, Kept It
The Wizards dominated in the first quarter of tonight’s Game 3, going on a 20-0 run and heading to the second with a 39-17 lead over the Celtics. But you’ve heard that one before, and it hasn’t ended well for Washington lately. Tonight was different....
Some Basketball Stuff Bradley Beal Did Last Night
The Boston Celtics won a game in which they trailed for pretty much all but a few moments of regulation, to take a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Washington Wizards. Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas was unstoppable in the fourth quarter and overtime, scori...