1 Page 218 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Ever Could This Anonymous Lonzo Ball Source Be?
The Los Angeles Lakers received the second pick in the NBA draft this evening and the future’s looking up for the franchise. The team appears to be the most likely destination for UCLA’s Lonzo Ball, who is rated as the second-best prospect by most draft evaluators, and whose father said he would onl...
The Lakers Narrowly Avoided Total Catastrophe At The Lottery
The Los Angeles Lakers will get the second overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft, which is a fine return for a shit-filled season of tanking that very nearly went up in flames thanks to an inexplicable five-game winning streak at the end of the year. Not only is the team in the driver’s seat to pick Lo...
Here's How The NBA Draft Lottery Shook Out
The Boston Celtics advanced to the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and tonight, they won the NBA draft lottery and the right to choose between Lonzo Ball and Markelle Fultz with the top overall pick in the upcoming draft. The Lakers avoided catastrophe and secured the second pick, while Philad...
The Wizards' Bench Won Somebody A Spot In The Eastern Conference Finals
I guess if you want to pin the outcome of last night’s Game 7 on somebody—somebody other than repulsive unconscious three-bombing Canuck gorilla Kelly Olynyk—you can pin it on Scott Brooks and Ernie Grunfeld....
The NBA Rulebook Was Not Enough To Save Kawhi Leonard's Ankle<em></em>
Here is some bullshit:...
What The Hell Happened At The End Of The Eddie Alvarez-Dustin Poirier Fight?
In retrospect, it’s amazing that Eddie Alvarez survived his fight against Dustin Poirier long enough for it to descend into madness....
John Wall Kills Celtics With Perfectly Placed Dagger
Down two, five seconds left, season in the balance, the charred end of a night when his team hit 20 percent of its three-point attempts, a postseason in which home teams facing elimination were 0-10, the best defender on the East’s top seed staring him in the face, ladies and gentlemen, I give you J...
The UFC Heavyweight Title Is On The Line Saturday Night. Does Anybody Care?<em></em>
There’s nothing wrong with Saturday night’s UFC heavyweight championship fight....
Oh Right, They're The Wizards
What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an imp...
John Wall Is Too Much
In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we...
If Kelly Oubre Jr. Is Suspended, It Will Be Because He Was Honest
First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the ...
The Wizards Got Out To A Huge Lead And, For Once, Kept It
The Wizards dominated in the first quarter of tonight’s Game 3, going on a 20-0 run and heading to the second with a 39-17 lead over the Celtics. But you’ve heard that one before, and it hasn’t ended well for Washington lately. Tonight was different....
Some Basketball Stuff Bradley Beal Did Last Night
The Boston Celtics won a game in which they trailed for pretty much all but a few moments of regulation, to take a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Washington Wizards. Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas was unstoppable in the fourth quarter and overtime, scori...
Let This Be The End Of The Clippers<em></em>
The Los Angeles Clippers got eliminated on their home court by the Utah Jazz yesterday, in Game 7. The Jazz were the lower-seeded team, so nominally this qualifies as an upset—though of course it wasn’t really, in the dual sense that, A) even before the Clippers lost Blake Griffin to a season-ending...
Why Should Any Top Draft Prospect Play A Meaningless Bowl Game Again?
Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey made history last week. The Jaguars drafted Fournette fourth overall, while the Panthers took McCaffrey at No. 8. Both were outstanding prospects who were expected to be selected in the Top 10. What’s significant is that both had skipped their meaningless, n...
Happiness Is Watching Mario Balotelli Drive PSG Insane
Mario Balotelli’s Nice hosted Paris Saint-Germain this weekend in what was a hugely important match in the Ligue 1 title race. Nice did what they’ve done all year and upset the odds by whooping up on PSG by a score of 3-1, and Balotelli scored a pretty goal to kick off the beatdown. By the end of th...
What In The Damn Hell Were The Hawks Doing?
With a little less than a minute left in last night’s Game 5 between Washington and Atlanta, John Wall dribbled into some open space behind a Marcin Gortat screen and calmly sank a 21-foot jumpshot, giving the Wizards a four-point lead with 47 seconds left to play....
The Wizards Have The Saddest Problem
The Washington Wizards have, in John Wall, the best player—by a mile!—in their playoff series against the Atlanta Hawks. At pretty much any given moment, they have the better player at three of the five positions on the court. They have home-court advantage. And they’re in grave trouble, at least i...
Yakov Smirnoff, America's Secret Weapon In The Cold War, Is Still Laughing
The National Security Advisor gets bounced for covert dealings with a Russian ambassador, then the Pentagon announces that Russian fighter jets recently buzzed a U.S. destroyer in the Black Sea, and reports come out that the Kremlin has begun testing cruise missiles in utter disregard of a bilateral...
Mark Emmert Admits NCAA Accepted The "Absolute Minimum" In Its Return To North Carolina<em></em>
In speaking with the Associated Press sports editors at their annual meeting with commissioners on Thursday night, NCAA president Emmert acknowledged that HB 142 was “the absolute minimum” the North Carolina legislature could have done to earn back the NCAA men’s basketball tournament and other post...