1 Page 287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit
We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical dis...

Here's How 9/11 Truther Pete Carroll Would Have Prevented The Iraq War
Seattle Times staff columnist Jerry Brewer's latest column begins with a conversation he had with Seattle Seahawks head coach and noted 9/11 truther Pete Carroll over a year ago. Somehow, the conversation veered into Carroll laying out his plan for handling the war in Iraq....

Old Man In Sweater Knocks Virile Young Man Right On His Ass
That dude's confidence is now toast, because an old man in street clothes just handled him without breaking a sweat....

Not One Single MLB Expert Predicted A Royals-Giants World Series
It's deja vu for the Major League Baseball pundits: For the second consecutive year, not one of the 64 pundits we tracked pegged the World Series correctly before the season began....

French Player's Premature "Salute" Celebration Backfires Spectacularly
Here's a soccer story told in photos, with the moral being that you should never celebrate too early, lest you get burned so hard, your children's children will still need regular applications of salve....

Cristiano Ronaldo Scores 95th-Minute Goal To Lead Portugal Over Denmark
Of course he did....

Havoc At Serbia-Albania As Match Interrupted By Flag-Carrying Drone
Officials suspended today's Serbia-Albania Euro 2016 qualifier in Belgrade after a drone carrying a large banner with the Albanian flag entered the stadium late in the first half and sparked a brawl between the two squads....

Diego Costa's Targeting System Is On The Fritz
Diego Costa's scored nine goals so far this year for Chelsea, but has yet to find the net for his adoptive country of Spain. He had the perfect opportunity to do it against Luxembourg at today's Euro 2016 qualifier, but somehow put the ball, uh, really wide of the target. Blame it on server lag....

Madison Bumgarner's Curveball Made Hitters Look Dumb Last Night
Madison Bumgarner accomplished a very specific feat in last night's Game 1 NLCS win: The Giants lefty broke the record for most consecutive scoreless innings pitched with 26.2 after he exited the game against the Cardinals. It was entertaining to watch him work his way through the lineup, but obviou...

Endurance Is Booming, But Has Leadville Trail 100 Gone Too Far?
Harrison Avenue in Leadville, Colo., is as quirky and canted and laid-back as any mountain town main drag. The commerce here is of the kitschy variety you find in ex-boom towns—antique stores, gem shops, ice cream parlors—except for an August weekend every year when the intersection of Harrison and ...

Pac-12 Officiating Coordinator Tony Corrente Resigns
The Pac-12 announced Wednesday night that Coordinator of Football Officiating Tony Corrente resigned. The official explanation is "personal and professional reasons," and San Jose Mercury News reporter Jon Wilner's source told him that Corrente was not forced out, and that the resignation caught...

Yusmeiro Petit Was Essentially The Giants' Second Starter Last Night
Yusmeiro Petit has a weird position on the Giants. He was passable as a spot starter, but couldn't earn a place in a strong San Francisco rotation. The Giants don't need him to close out games, either, and Petit is capable of pitching longer than only an inning. But last night, in the longest MLB ...

Iowa State A.D. Is Madder Than Hell About Big 12 Officiating
Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard gave a bizarre press conference today. With Cyclones' head coach Paul Rhoads standing a few feet away, Pollard goes after Big 12 refs for costing Iowa State football games. The Cyclones fell to 1-4 today after a loss to Oklahoma State. One particular play...

Top Female Soccer Players Sue FIFA Over Bullshit Artificial Turf
After weeks of pleading with FIFA to change its mind about playing the 2015 women’s World Cup on field turf instead of grass and being met with nothing but stubbornness, a handful of women’s soccer’s biggest stars have filed a lawsuit against FIFA to try and force the organization to put the upcomin...

Hey, Come Over And Look At This Soccer Player's Floppy Dong Real Quick
This is FC Girondins de Bordeaux striker Thomas Touré, who was in action yesterday against AS Saint-Étienne. And this is Thomas Touré's dong....

How To Be A Soccer Fan
Towards the tail end of this past World Cup, more than a few readers emailed us looking for guidance on how to become a soccer fan. Never ones to disappoint our adoring readership, we've now obliged. Here's how we imagine that conversation would go....

The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers
The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he s...

FIFA's Independent Investigator Wants His Corruption Report Released
FIFA hired an outside investigator to conduct a probe into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for the Russia and Qatar World Cups. That investigator, a former U.S. federal prosecutor, has finally submitted his findings to FIFA with the expectation that they would eventually be released to...

10cc's "I'm Not In Love" Was The Real Song Of The Summer
Right now, on the upper reaches of the Billboard 200 album chart, in the midst of 21st-century pop frivolities like Maroon 5, Jeezy, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, and Now That's What I Call Music 51, sits Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1, which once reigned at no. 1, and now sits comfortabl...
