1 Page 380 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The New Orleans Hornets Will Pick First In The 2012 NBA Draft
The New Orleans Hornets, currently owned by the NBA and soon to be owned by Saints owner Tom Benson, will select first in the 2012 NBA Draft (most likely choosing Kentucky forward Anthony Davis). The Charlotte Bobcats, which had the worst winning percenatge in NBA history this past season, will pick...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Mario Balotelli's prepared for any racism that might erupt during this summer's Euro 2012 competition in Poland and the Ukraine. Prepared to go to jail, that is, telling France Football he's all too willing to face hate with violence:...

U.S. Gymnastics Turns Its Back On Chellsie Memmel, Genuine Badass
At the 2006 world championships, Chellsie Memmel botched a release during her uneven-bars routine and tore her labrum. This was more or less the beginning of a prolonged shoulder nightmare that would culminate this weekend in the cold-eyed rejection of her bid to compete in the national championship...

"They Had To Apply Electric Shock To Bring Him Back": The Decline Of Boxer David Reid, Hero Of The 1996 Olympics
Republished from The Ring....

Take The 2012 Gawker Media Census, Win An iPad, And <i>Then</i> Resume Your Quest for 3rd Base
After last year's census, we discovered that 66% of you stud muffins were in relationships and 51% of you dined out at around 3 times a week—we can only assume that all that wining and dining is how you keep the ladies coming back. Take a quick 10-minute break from the drunken hookups to answer the...

How A Career Ends: Ron Darling Celebrated His 35th Birthday By Getting Cut And Being Left Alone At Home
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Pitcher Ron Darling, one of 37 major leaguers in history born in Hawaii and the record holder, by far, for most major league seasons by a Yale University alum...

"The Kings Have The Ball": More Hockey Coverage From Los Angeles
You do have to feel for FOX 11's newslady. Hockey highlights are tough if you've never watched a hockey game. Kopitar and Doughty aren't easy names to pronounce. But in the wake of another LA station's Kings ignorance, it's entirely possible that a team is going to win a Stanley Cup without anyone...

Big 12, SEC Join Forces For Transparently Money-Grubbing New Year's Day Bowl
It's been a busy offseason for the Big 12 and the SEC. Both added two new teams to their conferences—the Big 12 replaced Texas A&M and Missouri, who defected to the SEC, with TCU and West Virginia—and their commissioners, Chuck Neinas and Mike Slive, shilled for the new four-team playoff that will f...

Azerbaijan's Stinky Olympic Wrestling Team Is Sponsored By Febreze
It kind of makes sense for a group of sweaty, smelly wrestlers to partner up with a product that stakes its business model on eliminating odors. If nothing else, we get to see some poor sap take a hefty whiff of some wrestler's headgear and compare it to passionfruit. (Related: Don't ever put a bl...

CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails
CBC host Ron MacLean opened tonight's coverage of the Stanley Cup playoff Game Six bout between the Capitals and Rangers with an extended and tortuous metaphor claiming the players were "like firefighters, like police officers," and throwing in 9/11 references....

This 10-Year-Old Girl Can Squat More Than A Woman Four Times Her Age
Here’s a terrifying little slice of American pie from the Newark Star-Ledger:...

The Junior Seau 911 Call Is Harrowing
This is the 911 call made by Junior Seau's girlfriend Megan Noderer upon her finding his body. It's terrifying. Listen with caution. [TMZ]...

Todd McShay's Mock Drafts Have Beaten Mike Mayock's And Mel Kiper's Four Years In A Row
We graded the 2012 Round 1 NFL mock drafts of Mel Kiper (ESPN), Todd McShay (ESPN), and Mike Mayock (NFL.com), and once again, McShay came out on top. This marks the fourth consecutive year in which McShay bested his two fellow pundits in mock draft accuracy....

For The Olympics, London Gets The World's Largest McDonald's
London does things big. Massive Ferris wheel. Giant gherkin. Overwhelming sense of inadequacy over a lost empire. And this summer, the world's largest McDonald's will open up near the Olympic village, for six weeks only. The Olympics truly do bring out the best in the world....

London Olympics To Be Protected By Rooftop Missile Launchers
The British Ministry of Defence recently informed residents of an "upscale apartment development" near Olympic Park that it plans to install a "missile battery" on the development's property....

"Fake Ass White Boys:" A Brief History Of MMA Trash Talk In Advance Of UFC 145
After a year of injury-related cancellations, Jon Jones and Rashad Evans will finally fight tonight at UFC 145. The two best light heavies in the world were once teammates but they now hate each other with a passion that comes only from personal betrayal. I know, I know. You hear that whenever a fig...

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...

Posting A Facebook Photo From The London Olympics Could Land You In Court
Art by Ronald Wigman....

Breaking Down The Athletes Of The <i>Time</i> 100
Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People list is out, and I checked, you aren't on it. But some athletes are! But how did they get there? How can a pro athlete who's not Muhammad Ali or Jackie Robinson or Maximus from Gladiator possibly qualify as "influential?" Time's metric for selection is top...

London Olympics Invite Keith Moon, Dead For 34 Years, To Play Closing Ceremony
There are just about a hundred days to go before the Summer Olympics, so presumably all the heavy lifting is done. The venues are built, the support staff hired and trained, and all that's left is getting the little touches right, so as to avoid incidents like Wayne Gretzky's face....