1 Page 390 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Five For Fighting: Comics Vs. Hecklers
There are hecklers at almost every comedy show. They are not to be encouraged and never welcome. They are a nuisance. They change the rhythm of the show because they want attention....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kumail Nanjiani
I moved to America from Pakistan at 18 to attend Grinnell College in Iowa. Came out of Chicago with a bunch of other talented comedians—Hannibal Buress, Jared Logan, and Brooke Van Poppelen. My jokes are usually observational: a lot of them have to do with pop culture, and they always end with a q...

British Beach Volleyball Players To Put Barcode Ads On Their Butts
No, seriously. And it's for a gambling company. From London's Daily Mail:...

"Your Dad Was A Shitty NBA Player." My Ill-Fated Showdown With A Teenaged Kobe Bryant
In June of 1995, I turned 16 and had a massive growth spurt. In about two months I grew from 6-1 to 6-5. For most of the summer I walked around my house in Upper Darby, Penn., with ice packs on my knees because of growing pains. By early August, I returned to our local court with a newfound ability:...

Deadspin Comedy Week FAQs, With Your Host Luke X. Cunningham
Hi. I'm Luke. I'll be your guest curator for Deadspin Comedy Week. Here are some FAQs about it you may or may not have about it, but I'll answer them anyway and introduce myself....

Sarah Silverman Helps Kick Off Deadspin's Second Attempt At Comedy Week
Some of you may notice how we've attempted to initiate some theme weeks into our editorial content this past year, including topics that have little or no connection to sports whatsoever. Last April's Comedy Week was our first trip into this uncharted territory, done in conjunction with our former f...

The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...

The London Olympic Medals Are Here, And They've Got That Weird Lisa Simpson Blowjob Logo
With a year to go before the London Games, they've been having all sorts of ceremonies to start the countdown. Today saw the unveiling of the designs for the medals, which will be the heaviest (though not the largest) ever handed out....

A Belated Farewell To Jeff Carter And Mike Richards: The Legion Of Poon
Thanks to a report from Philadelphia Daily News's intrepid Mighty Dan Gross on Monday, two former Flyers are being torched for their excessive nightlife adventures when they were both members of the team. The implication is, subtly, that their reluctance to curb their Jäger-bombing escapades through...

24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...

Pac-12 Releases A Highfalutin Hype Video That Arizona State Students Won't Be Able To Understand
We've provided here the full transcription of the purplest and most thesaurus-dependent prose to ever grace a promotional video for a college football conference. College football is back, you guys. Let me rephrase that: college football is back with "an avant garde redesign of the competitive bal...

Ron Artest's Strange Sexting Saga
The Story: I got a blessing from my Lakers-fan boyfriend and texted Ron. I had to. And yes, I sort of knew where this was headed-a few requests for a picture of me, some photos and videos from him, some questions about my personal life....

Meat Loaf Was My Softball Coach
In 1991, I was a high school freshman in the small town of Redding, Conn. My brother was a senior, and his prom date was one of our neighbors down the street, a junior, Pearl Aday. Pearl would drive me home from softball practice when her father, our coach, was unable to. I preferred Pearl, as her d...

1989's Back Again, In The SkyDome Opening That Featured Thousands Of Canadians Capering About, Plus Alan Thicke
Toronto's Rogers Centre was introduced in June 1989 as the SkyDome, at a time when the name "SkyDome" suggested an exciting future full of retractable roofs and mud-free Argonauts games, which we'd have to agree are two of the greatest developments of the past twenty-plus years....

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration
Enough arguing about who deserved to be an All-Star. Here are 100 baseball players who did not, though a couple are in the Hall of Fame. A survey of Major League Baseball's lowlights, lowlifes, and overachieving underachievers. PART ONE » | PART TWO »...

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration (Part 1)
This is a celebration. I realize that sounds strange—compiling a list of the worst of something doesn't seem like a joyous occasion. But by worst 100 baseball players I don't just mean the objective worst, the statistical worst, the most physically discomforting to watch. I mean the players whose fa...

¡Escandalo Cibersexo!
Mexico's Copa America squad has already been decimated by prostitutes. Now, an Argentinian model has sold some photo and videos to the tabloids, allegedly featuring an online encounter with an U17 World Cup player, at 1:20 the night before a big match. [Guanabee]...

Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...

Who Will Get The 2018 Olympics?
Tomorrow at 11am EDT, the IOC will announce the host city for the 2018 Winter Olympics. Seeing as how those Games may come around before we ever see the NBA or NFL again, I thought it would be instructive to examine each prospective host’s bid. And I’ll be doing this the right way: with no research ...

Asafa Powell Beats The Clock, In Lieu Of Beating Usain Bolt
Asafa Powell, the 100-meter world record holder of the pre-Usain Bolt era, claimed the title of Fastest Man in the World, This Year, So Far by running a 9.78 yesterday in Lausanne, Switzerland. That beats the 9.79 that Tyson Gay ran in early June in Clermont, Florida, before Gay dropped off the circ...