2 Page 259 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Upon Further Review, The NFL Dodged A Bullet

Thank god for Brandon Graham. It was his effectively game-sealing strip-sack of Tom Brady—an actual, incontrovertible football play, a display of the kind of strength and athleticism and determination that bring us to the sport in the first place, a moment for which there was no reason to doubt your...

Performance Isn't Tied To Morality, EXCEPT FOR THE WORLD CHAMPION PHILADELPHIA EAGLES<em></em>

Be a happy and honest sports fan with this one simple trick: understand that moral values have nothing to do with on-field performance. That’s a foundational principle of this website, as far as I can tell, but abiding by it will stop you from making mistakes that have nothing to do with sports. It ...

HEY, PATRIOTS! FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!<em></em>

There is never a guarantee you’ll get a Patriots Schadenfreude Day. There are years when they win a Super Bowl and you just gotta sit there with gritted teeth while Brian O’Brian from Dickchester hoots and hollers and flashes imaginary rings and celebrates yet another Pats Super Bowl win by blinding...

Kobe Bryant And Dion Waiters Had Great Reactions To The Eagles Winning The Super Bowl

What makes these videos of native Philadelphians Kobe Bryant and Dion Waiters going nuts the moment the Eagles officially defeated the Patriots to win their first Super Bowl is how relatable they are. Trust me....

Where The Hell Was Malcolm Butler?

Malcolm Butler, the hero of Super Bowl 49 and starting cornerback for the Patriots all season, wasn’t on the field for any defensive snaps as New England lost 41-33 to the Eagles in Super Bowl 52. If you have an answer for why: Please get in touch, Bill Belichick....

The Tom Brady Strip Sack, As Called By Announcers From Philadelphia, Boston, & 11 Other Places Worldwide

Brandon Graham’s strip sack of Tom Brady and Derek Barnett’s recovery of the ball proved to be a deciding play of this year’s Super Bowl. We’ve compiled 13 different broadcasts of the play, including the local announcers as well as TV and radio from five different continents. (Our favorite is Austra...

Jason Kelce TV Interview Straight Out Of Mid-'80s WWF

Listen to this man, Philadelphia. He is speaking for you, and to you:...

Kevin Hart Attempts To Scale Trophy Podium, Denied By Much Larger Man

What was Kevin Hart doing there, anyway!?...

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Alshon Jeffery's Touchdown Catch, As Called On Radio & TV Around The World

Alshon Jeffery’s 34-yard touchdown catch put the Eagles up 9-3, and it drew some pretty excited announcing from those calling the game around the world. Here, in order, is how it sounded on NBC Universo, ESPN Brasil, ESPN Latin America, on Australian radio outlet SEC 1116, and on Westwood One radio ...

The Cup Is Filled With Grit

Thanks, Brian. ...

Silly Silly

<i>SNL</i> Takes On Super Bowl And Its Two, Uh, Flawed Fanbases

Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch returned to Saturday Night Live tonight for a sketch that saw Revolutionary War “patriots” from New England face off against the less-successful representatives from Philadelphia. It’s funny! Great job all around, everyone....

Report: Justin Timberlake To Perform With Prince Hologram At Super Bowl Halftime Show [UPDATE]

Justin Timberlake will share the Super Bowl halftime stage with a hologram of Prince, according to TMZ. This is so stupid. Better idea: watch the actual Prince’s Super Bowl halftime show, right now. Or, even better idea! Just air that performance AS the actual halftime show, tomorrow. I promise ever...

Airport Security Will Need To Check Your Super Bowl Program Separately

MINNEAPOLIS — Travelers for the Super Bowl continue to stream into Minneapolis-Saint Paul International Airport. They’re being greeted by a sign that informs them of the dangers of the Super Bowl program....

What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?

Time is a social construct cooked up by humankind to impose some modicum of order onto an otherwise chaotic existence. But with that said, Super Bowl 52 will kick off this weekend. At some point. Who will win “the big game”? That’s not for me to say. What time does it start? Now there’s a good quest...

It's Time To Simulate The Super Bowl In <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>

You know the rules: Tecmo Super Bowl, updated rosters, NES version, CPU vs CPU. Let’s do this, LIVE: ...

28 Russian Athletes Get Their Olympic Doping Bans Overturned

With the Olympics a week away from kicking off in South Korea, a decision by the Court of Arbitration for Sport has thrown the entire matter of retribution against Russian doping into further disarray. Last year, the IOC issued lifetime bans to 43 Russian athletes from the Sochi Olympics for partici...

There Seems To Be A Problem With Those "Unopenable" Olympic Piss Test Bottles

When you pee into a drug tester’s cup at the Olympics, you don’t just pee into a plastic cup labeled “ATHLETE PISS,” you pee into state-of-the-art BEREG-KIT Geneva bottles made by Swiss manufacturer Berlinger. They have a locking top that can only be opened by a machine that destroys them, which wou...

The Very Real Daniel Cormier-Stipe Miocic Heavyweight Superfight Is Going To Rule So Hard

Daniel Cormier and Stipe Miocic both enjoy such dominance over their divisions (light heavyweight and heavyweight, respectively) that there aren’t really that many interesting opponents for either man to fight. Both won their UFC 220 title fights against overhyped power punchers with comical ease, a...