2 Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
2016 Presidential Campaign Merch, Ranked
From $1,000 copies of the Constitution to $75 guacamole bowls to “Grillary Clinton” aprons, the world of presidential campaign merchandise is a strange one, and nowhere is that clearer than on the internet, where some of our illustrious candidates have launched merch stores that come in every degree...
Kevin Johnson Wants Certain People To Not Talk About Kevin Johnson
It’s no secret that Kevin Johnson wants certain girls and women to keep what they have to say about him to themselves. Some of what the former NBA superstar and current scandal-magnet mayor of Sacramento, Calif. is willing to do to convince them is well-known; some less so. The more that comes to li...
Report: Germany May Have Bribed Its Way To Hosting 2006 World Cup
According a bombshell report out of Germany, there’s growing evidence to suggest that soccer officials there paid off four FIFA executives in exchange for their votes backing Germany’s 2006 World Cup hosting bid, and that FIFA helped launder the money....
Astros Bullpen Catcher Gives Away Gear After Being Eliminated By Royals
A fan at Kauffman Stadium posted photos on Facebook which show Astros bullpen catcher Javier Bracamonte giving away baseballs and his gear to fans after Wednesday night’s loss to the Royals....
No, Seriously, Dissolve The United States
Ronald Reagan’s Secretary of the Navy, a Republican Senator, and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar. Bartender looks them over and says, “Christ, this is 60 percent of the Democratic presidential campaign field? You motherfuckers make Richard Nixon look like Leon Trotsky.” Then Jim Webb knifes him, bec...
Curt Schilling Has A Democratic Debate Take For You
There will be a lot of takes on tonight’s Democratic debate. Here’s the one that matters....
Jeb Bush Says He Didn't Smoke Weed With Bill Belichick
Clay Travis of Fox Sports had a conversation with Jeb Bush that I don’t care to know more about, other than the part where he asked Bush if he smoked weed with Bill Belichick in high school. So, Jeb, did you ever light one up with Belichick? Ever smoked on that gas? Waked and baked? Celebrated 4:20?...
Fox Sports Humiliates America With Horrible USMNT Promo
Remember when a Mexican TV station used Donald Trump, a mass of whoopie cushions and mashed potatoes inhabited by a chaos demon, to troll the USMNT ahead of tomorrow’s game against Mexico? That was pretty good! They got us! Today, Fox tried to clap back with a promo video of its own:...
Remembering The Tour De Trump, Donald Trump's Failed Bike Race
Donald Trump, a talking tube of bronzer, is a man of leisure and failed investments. Right around the end of the 1980s, he expanded with a truly catastrophic series of investments which led him to declare his first of four corporate bankruptcies in 1991. There was Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, an...
Here Are All The Teams You Can Root For In The MLB Playoffs
The play-in games are finished, and baseball is on the road to the World Series. We wrote previews for every club in the playoffs. Here’s where you can find the remaining teams....
Astros Three-Hit The Yankees To Advance To ALDS
With the Astros unable to clinch a spot in the AL’s Wild Card game until the final day of the season, they didn’t have the luxury of setting up their rotation for the playoffs. Staff ace Dallas Keuchel, who is a leading candidate to win the AL Cy Young, had to pitch on Friday, but still Astros manag...
Root For The Astros In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE HOUSTON ASTROS....
Root For The Rangers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE TEXAS RANGERS....
Root For The Dodgers In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE LOS ANGELES DODGERS....
15 Years Ago, Vince Carter Jumped Over A 7-Footer And Dunked The Shit
Exactly 15 years ago today, Vince Carter jumped over 7-foot-2 French center Frédéric Weis and dunked the ball at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. You remember, right? Right....
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
Marco Rubio's Boy Kinda Punched Rand Paul's Boy In The Face Last Night
Politics, like rap music, is sports. In the throes of competition, tempers flare as the blood gets hot. There’s always some beef. Sometimes, separate parties arrive at blows. Rarely, there’s even gunplay. Within that context, allow us to direct you to the bestest beef of them all, between aides to R...
Richard Sherman And Michael Bennett Are Having A Serious Public Debate On Black Lives Matter
Over the past few days, two Seahawks have publicly offered differing opinions on the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality, poverty, and a host of related issues. In the usually anodyne world of athlete press conferences, it’s really something....
Dissolve The United States
They are all insane people. Even poor, stressed-out, occasionally lucid-seeming John Kasich: bonkers. Pathology is contextual, and one simply does not bring reasonable takes like Actually, the deal with Iran is okay, provided we do the diligence of enforcing it, just like pretty much every other dea...