2016-olympics Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
With Heavy-Handed Symbolism, Officials Lose Keys To Olympic Stadium
Let the Games begin, once they can just get this damn thing open....
Mass Protests Are Following The Olympic Torch All Over Rio
Financially speaking, the Olympics are a huge scam that allows Olympic committees, bureaucrats, and contractors to get rich at the expense of Brazil’s government and its citizens. Brazil’s economy is in the toilet, and it has a staggering inequality problem. There have been protests the entire time ...
Olympic Soccer Crowd Trolls Hope Solo With "Zika!" Chants
A week ago, United States national team keeper Hope Solo posted a pair of photos on her Instagram showing off the extremely large arsenal of anti-mosquito products she was bringing to Brazil to stave off the Zika virus. This afternoon, in the United States’ opening win over New Zealand, she was roas...
The Modern Olympics Were Founded By A French Baron Who Was Sad That France Kept Losing Wars<em></em>
If you were looking to create an object that was the perfect physical manifestation of the Summer Olympics’ contradictory relationship with the partially invented history they sprang from, you could do a lot worse than the Olympic Torch....
Olympic Reporters Are Hungry And Cranky
Reporters are the complainingest people on earth, and these Olympics are giving them plenty to complain about—not a good combination. Today’s outrage: a severe lack of food options inside the media center. ...
Japanese Gymnast Reportedly Racks Up $5,000 Bill Playing <i>Pokémon Go</i> At The Olympics
Kohei Uchimura is a six-time world champion gymnast, a four-time gold medalist at the Olympics, and, apparently, an aspiring Pokémon trainer. Playing Pokémon Go in different locales can be a great way to accrue a collection of new monsters, but it can also cost you severely. Uchimura reportedly play...
Golf At The Olympics Will Be Played In A Goddamn Zoo<em></em>
The golf tournament at the Rio Olympics starts next Thursday. This is the first time golf has been at the Olympics since 1904, but stars like Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, and Dustin Johnson will not be there. However, a bunch of capybaras, sloths, and other critters (like mini crocodiles) will....
Team USA Did Some Cool Dunks Tonight
The best highlight that the future gold medal-winning basketball dudes of Team USA produced this week was DeMarcus Cousins mocking Draymond Green for broadcasting his dong to the masses. However, they smoked Nigeria by 44 points in a tune-up game tonight, and in the process, dunked the ball a lot....
The Olympics Are For Humans, Not Horses
What is the purpose of the Olympics? For the few thousand bureaucrats who divvy up the Games, give out contracts, and get kickass bribes, it is to enrich themselves. For everyone outside of the corruption apparatus of the Olympics, they are an exhibit of the best sportspeople, playing their sports. ...
All The Olympic Sports Should Be Outdoors
“Indoors” does not care what the season is. Seasons do not exist indoors. That is the whole reason we have indoors. When you stick a seasonal specifier like “Summer” or “Winter” in front of your event, your event has to take place in that actual season, which is outdoors. That is science. Therefore ...
Staying In Rio Presents Some Challenges
In the coming weeks we’ll be hearing plenty from the Olympic athletes about their Rio accommodations. (The Australians, who declared their rooms “uninhabitable” due to leaks and exposed wiring, must be feeling great after they were not alerted to an emergency evacuation on Friday due to a small fire...
Report: The Olympics Opening Ceremony Features Gisele Bündchen Getting Assaulted<em></em>
That supermodel Gisele would have a role in this week’s Olympics opening ceremony was a given, and previous reports indicated the Brazilian supermodel would have a “sexy starring role.” But reports from witnesses of Sunday’s opening ceremony dress rehearsal explained to Brazil’s UOL that Tom Brady’s...
Australian Olympic Delegation Robbed During Fire At Athletes' Village
Olympic athletes continue to be victimized by crime and poor facilities—simultaneously, it would seem, as the Australian delegation returned to their lodgings after a fire to discover they’d been robbed....
Strong Winds Destroy Main Ramp At Olympic Sailing Venue
Olympic venues continue to demonstrate their shoddy, dangerous nature as tonight we learned the main ramp of the Olympic sailing venue at Marina da Glória was torn to pieces by wind and three-meter-high waves....
Chinese Hurdler Vomited On, Robbed Of Luggage On First Day In Rio
Chinese athlete Shi Dongpeng fell victim to a gastrointestinal grift earlier this week shortly after arriving in Rio de Janeiro to compete in the 110-meter hurdles event, according to Inside the Games:...
Report: NBC Asks Olympics To Reorder Parade Of Nations For Better American Ratings
I’m a consummate Olympic cynic—I think the whole damn thing should always be held on the same “Olympic Island,” so no city has to waste billions of dollars on something with no real payoff for its residents. But I genuinely like the Parade of Nations. It’s educational, like a walking Sporcle quiz, a...
Inch For Inch, Inika McPherson Might Be The Most Talented Jumper On The Planet
The three priestesses of the high jump—the American reps in Rio—are an unconventional and disparate bunch, whose ability to launch themselves over a 6'6" bar is almost less interesting than how they made it to the Olympics in the first place....
Roger Federer Will Miss The Rest Of The Season To Rehabilitate His Knee
When Roger Federer advanced to his 11th Wimbledon semi-final earlier this month, there was hope that he’d put his February knee surgery and injury plagued year behind him. But the knee is apparently still bothering him, and today Federer announced that he would miss the rest of the season, including...
Argentinian Olympics Official Alleges Sabotage In Athletes' Village
We already knew the Olympic athletes’ village in Rio was a mess, but now we’ve jumped from stories about uninhabitable rooms and failed safety inspections and into allegations of sabotage....