4 Page 153 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For The Next Four Minutes, Mike Singletary Will Be Coaching Pantless. Any Questions?
Already considered one of the great coaching meltdowns of all time, the real truth surrounding Mike Singletary's performance during and after the 49ers-Seahawks game this past Sunday is only beginning to emerge. First reported on XTRA-919 radio in Phoenix on Thursday is the news that the new SF coac...
Not Just Another Pretty Face
Hooo boy. The reporter here — I'm pretty sure — is Danyelle Sargent of Fox, making the Gaffe of the Season so far. And what makes this more sad/amusing is the fact that Sargent was involved in a controversy while at ESPN in 2006 when, thinking her mic was dead, blurted "What the fuck was that?" w...
Mike Singletary Will Surely Kill Someone Before The Year Is Out
The forecast for the San Francisco 49ers season changed dramatically on Sunday from dismal to dangerous; like the difference between a cold, monotonous drizzle and a lightening storm in the mountains. And we can thank Mike Singletary for that. Not only did the 49ers' new interim coach pull a player ...
President Condi Possible This January in San Francisco?
Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser to President Bush Secretary of Flippin' State (and we're rather embarrassed about THAT), has been fishing for an NFL job post-Executive Branch for awhile. She's quoted in 2002 trolling for the NFL Commissioner position (only to be beaten out by Guantanamo ...
Switching Mikes In Midstream, The 49er Way
Well, here is your new face of the San Francisco 49ers. Initial thoughts? Aside from being totally hyp-no-tized, I have to say that it really couldn't be any worse than the old one. There was perhaps no coach in the NFL one wanted to see succeed more than Mike Nolan — really, has anyone ever had a b...
Alex Smith And The Series Of Unfortunate Events
It appears that Alex Smith's time as a San Francisco 49er has come to an end. The star that shone so brightly for, say, about five-and-a-half quarters in 2006, was extinguished on Tuesday when it was learned that the quarterback has a broken bone in his shoulder and would be placed on injured reserv...
NFL Season Preview: San Francisco 49ers
The NFL season begins in earnest in about 48 hours, so it's time to finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous others who consider football the only sport worth watching. You will see many of these today, because we're a...
IOC Finally Launches Investigation Into Chinese Gymnasts Thanks To "Stryde Hax"
It appears the U.S. women's gymnastics team may actually get their coveted gold medals if an IOC investigation into the ages of the Chinese gymnastics team proves the little demons weren't all 16 years of age. After initially dodging all the questions, the findings of one U.S.-based blogger named St...
Ronnie Wilson Wants You To Say Hello To His Little Friend
Gators offensive guard Ronnie Wilson was arrested in April of 2007 for firing an AK-47. According to Wilson, he did it because he wanted the intended victim to know what it felt like to be scared. Makes complete sense. Well, now, the 911 phone call that led to Wilson's arrest has been released. You...
You Taste Of America, Jason Lezak
There's no better motivation for an American in the Olympics than Frenchy getting in your face and predicting victory. "I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say ... 'I love crepes.' " Jason Lezak outsprinted Alain Bernard of France in the anchor leg as the U.S. men — Michael Phelps, Ga...
NFL News and Notes
God, it feels good to see football on television. I know it sucks watching third and fourth string scrubs scrambling around and dropping passes, but it's better than nothing. And it's only pre-season, so the fumbles, interceptions, and drops don't count. At least that's what I tell myself after my t...
It Only Takes Three Walls To Confine Your Soul
The office cubicle turns 40 this month, and since so many of our readers work in them, I couldn't let the anniversary pass unheeded. According to Wikipedia, "A cubicle's purpose is to isolate office workers from the sights and noises of an open workspace, the theory being that this allows workers mo...
Joe Montana And Matt Leinart, BFF, Or Something
It has been amusing, as we flip through the NFL season preview mags we keep buying — are they always out this early? — is that every single one of them mentions Matt Leinart's fun-loving beer bonging. As we said from the get-go, the reason those pictures took off was because they fit into an existin...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while equipping your phone with a rape whistle......
About Last Night...
What you missed while getting some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter, and getting some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, making sure it's chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. And some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with...
Alex Smith's Popularity Soaring
Sigh. Oh, The Dirty.com. It's amazing that this crew is getting all of these photos (well, three) of 49ers quarterback Alex Smith sent to them. What did Alex Smith ever do to anybody? Besides, you know, kind of suck?...
Alex Smith Is A Little Looser When South Of The Border
Didn't Alex Smith attend college in Utah, where drunkenly attempting to eat girls' faces is prohibited? (unless they're one of your wives, that is). Hey, who cares! We're in Mexico! Finally, my frequent visits to 49ersnews pay off....
At Last, The Glory Of Youkilis Is Introduced To Japan
Well, it's doesn't feel the start of the baseball season tomorrow morning — jeez, like, 11 hours from now — but it is, in fact, the beginning: The Red Sox and the A's, in the Tokyo Dome, 6 a.m., baseball is here ... kind of....
Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...
This Guy Hasn't Washed His Face Since 2004
They've announced the villain in the next Batman movie, and this one's the most insidious of all. His powers include super smugness, a photographic memory that does not include anything prior to 2001, and invisibility (should the conversation turn to the Bruins). Only posted comment to his photo so...