7 Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh Right, They're The Wizards
What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an imp...
John Wall Is Too Much
In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we...
If Kelly Oubre Jr. Is Suspended, It Will Be Because He Was Honest
First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the ...
The Wizards Got Out To A Huge Lead And, For Once, Kept It
The Wizards dominated in the first quarter of tonight’s Game 3, going on a 20-0 run and heading to the second with a 39-17 lead over the Celtics. But you’ve heard that one before, and it hasn’t ended well for Washington lately. Tonight was different....
Some Basketball Stuff Bradley Beal Did Last Night
The Boston Celtics won a game in which they trailed for pretty much all but a few moments of regulation, to take a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Washington Wizards. Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas was unstoppable in the fourth quarter and overtime, scori...
Let This Be The End Of The Clippers<em></em>
The Los Angeles Clippers got eliminated on their home court by the Utah Jazz yesterday, in Game 7. The Jazz were the lower-seeded team, so nominally this qualifies as an upset—though of course it wasn’t really, in the dual sense that, A) even before the Clippers lost Blake Griffin to a season-ending...
Why Should Any Top Draft Prospect Play A Meaningless Bowl Game Again?
Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey made history last week. The Jaguars drafted Fournette fourth overall, while the Panthers took McCaffrey at No. 8. Both were outstanding prospects who were expected to be selected in the Top 10. What’s significant is that both had skipped their meaningless, n...
What In The Damn Hell Were The Hawks Doing?
With a little less than a minute left in last night’s Game 5 between Washington and Atlanta, John Wall dribbled into some open space behind a Marcin Gortat screen and calmly sank a 21-foot jumpshot, giving the Wizards a four-point lead with 47 seconds left to play....
The Wizards Have The Saddest Problem
The Washington Wizards have, in John Wall, the best player—by a mile!—in their playoff series against the Atlanta Hawks. At pretty much any given moment, they have the better player at three of the five positions on the court. They have home-court advantage. And they’re in grave trouble, at least i...
A Very Timely And Comprehensive 2017 NBA Playoffs, Uh, "Preview," Part 2
Good afternoon, basketball viewers! It’s time for the second part of our very on-time and definitely not late at all 2017 NBA playoffs preview blog post. Here’s what you need to know about the first-round series that are scheduled to begin today, presented in the order the games will start....
A Very Timely And Comprehensive 2017 NBA Playoffs, Uh, "Preview," Part 1
Hello fellow sports enthusiasts! It’s that time again: World Art Day. But also, the NBA playoffs, the best* postseason tournament of all, begin today. Another thing that began today: My work on this playoff preview blog! Let’s run down the first-round series that are starting this afternoon: the sto...
This 11-Year-Old’s Sixers Mural Design Is Even Better Than The Real Thing
Mural Arts Philadelphia unveiled the 4,001st mural it has put up in the city this morning, a work by Ernel Martinez titled 76ers: Beyond the Court....
Ben Simmons Completes Next Step Of Recovery Process By Owning Knicks Child
This little Ron Baker lookalike thought he could sneak one by Ben Simmons, but little did he know, the dude is closer to healthy now and he’s also supposedly seven feet tall....
The Miami Heat Are Probably Screwed, And That Sucks
Tonight, the last night of the NBA’s regular season, will settle the Eastern Conference’s seventh and eighth playoff seeds, the last two unsettled spots in the postseason. The Miami Heat, currently sitting in ninth thanks to tiebreakers, can claim one of those spots, technically, but almost certainl...
Ben Simmons Says He's Nearly Seven Feet Tall Now
When Ben Simmons was picked first overall in the 2016 draft, he was listed at 6-foot-10. Unfortunately we haven’t seen much of him since. What was the 20-year-old doing in that time, besides waiting for his foot bones to heal? Becoming larger....
What The Fuck Was This Basketball Game?
Plenty of good, entertaining basketball happened last night, so you probably didn’t notice this game stuck to the bottom of your shoe: The league-worst Nets, who have no real incentive to tank, hung 141 points on the Sixers in regulation....
Magic Forced To Reassure Aaron Gordon Over Dumb, Embarrassing Whiteboard Trade Idea
What do you suppose Orlando Magic head coach Frank Vogel and, uh, star(?) forward Aaron Gordon talked about today, at their meeting—reported by the Orlando Sentinel’s Josh Robbins—about the sudden viral-photo-sparked rumor that the organization might be hoping to trade Gordon for Philadelphia 76ers ...
The Referees Didn't Want You To Have Any Fun Last Night
Everyone expects to see a certain number of lifeless offensive possessions and back-rimmed jumpers in any college basketball game, basically for the same reason you don’t expect to see the most crisply-turned double plays at a minor league ballgame, and it’s really not surprising to see more of thos...
North Carolina Takes Down Gonzaga To Win Sixth National Championship
After 40 tense, often ugly minutes of basketball, North Carolina defeated Gonzaga, 71-65, to win another national championship, their first since 2009. The game featured 44 fouls, a combined field goal percentage of 34.8, and a series of inexplicable late referee interventions. At one point, Gonzaga...
I'm So Glad Gonzaga Fouled With A Three-Point Lead
Thank you, Gonzaga. It was as if you read my angst-riddled mind on Saturday night....