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Jets LB Bryan Thomas Was Charged With Assaulting His Wife Back In October
Now for some seriously awful news surrounding the New York Jets: Linebacker Bryan Thomas, a veteran of 11 seasons, is trying to get into a special probation program because he allegedly beat up his wife more than two months ago....

In Defense Of Mike Shanahan
Three months ago, the head coach of a professional football team made a terrible, terrible decision. On Sept. 30, up by a point with less than two minutes to go, Carolina's Ron Rivera decided to punt the ball away to the Atlanta Falcons, even though it was fourth-and-1, even though his team was on A...

Brazilian Prostitutes Learning English For The World Cup
You know what they say: English is the international language of negotiating payment for sexual services provided by a professional. To that end, since World Cup is heading to Brazil in 2014, a prostitute advocacy group in the city of Belo Horizonte is offering free English classes to get the women ...


Richard Ben Cramer: Play All The Big Chords
Richard Ben Cramer was a journalist who wrote great, shambling, unafraid sentences that weren't so much lively—though they were that—as they were lived-in....

Watch A.J. McCarron Pretend Not To Be Freaked Out About How Famous His Girlfriend Is Now
The only thing worth noting about last night's BCS championship game was Brent Musburger's old-man boner over Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron. In the video above, you can see reporters telling McCarron that his girlfriend was the night's breakout star, and then ...

Deadspin Nature Moment: Right Now, There Is A Hawk Hunting Rats Outside The Office
Craggs came back in and said there was a hawk outside, looking at the rats. He was flustered, because Craggs does not do well with nature. People followed him out onto the fire escape and there it was, perched on the fire escape of the Bowery House hotel behind our building, right beside a mop hung ...

The NHL Barely Dodged A Putin-Backed Russian Mutiny, But The League Might Not Be Out Of The Woods Yet
The NHL lockout is over, and most of the players (not Lubomir Visnovsky, though) who kept their games sharp in the KHL have returned to work in the United States. Washington's Alex Ovechkin is back in the States, saying funny things and wearing funny t-shirts. Pittsburgh's Evgeni Malkin has abandone...

Roger Clemens Will Teach Young Astros Pitchers Everything He Knows
I hope everyone is ready for Roger Clemens to make the long, painful transition from controversy-dogged outcast to wizened baseball mentor, because it's going to happen. With two bizarre perjury trials and a flirtation with an MLB cameo in the rearview mirror, Clemens is turning his thoughts to coac...
![We're Commemorating Ohio State's Outlaw 12-0 Season With Customized Temporary Tattoos. Want One? [UPDATE: We Have Run Out Of Tattoos]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18avfxf0e8yekjpg.jpg)
We're Commemorating Ohio State's Outlaw 12-0 Season With Customized Temporary Tattoos. Want One? [UPDATE: We Have Run Out Of Tattoos]
The Ohio State Buckeyes, the lone undefeated team in college football after the Notre Dame Fighting Irish woke up this morning and realized they were supposed to play a game last night, finished the season ranked No. 3 in the Associated Press poll. The Buckeyes—bowl ineligible because some players w...

ESPN Apologizes For Brent Musburger's Boner
ESPN actually came out with a comment about this. Here it is:...

Rob Parker Is Out At ESPN
After Rob Parker appeared on a Detroit-based community-affairs show on Sunday and revealed that First Take producers knew exactly what he was going to say when he made his "cornball brother" comments, some speculation ran around Bristol on Monday that his suspension would be permanent....

Johnny Boychuk's Austrian Team Only Gave Him Red Bull To Drink
As NHL players return to North America—those who aren't claiming asylum to escape the Islanders regime, anyway—they're being set upon by their neglected beat writers, and sharing some strange stories of their sabbaticals. Alex Picard made some new friends in the shower. Ryan Jones was handcuffed and...

Tony La Russa's Wife Is A Huge Metalhead, Because Of Course She Is
Robb Flynn, the lead singer of the heavy metal band Machine Head, posted a story on the band's official website today that included an unexpected cameo from Elaine La Russa, wife of former Cardinals manager Tony La Russa....

"Dangerously Excessive": How Washington State Football Confronted, And Didn't Confront, The First Bad News Of The Mike Leach Era
"There are no signs of abuse," Washington State University athletic director Bill Moos told reporters last month, after the school had concluded an internal investigation into claims that football coach Mike Leach and his staff had mistreated players in his debut season there. Based on interviews wi...

Rex Ryan's Tattoo Is Real, And He Might Just Change The Number If Mark Sanchez Doesn't Improve
Earlier today, Jets head coach Rex Ryan and owner Woody Johnson finally held their mandatory postmortem press conference pushed back by one legendary Bahamian vacation. Most of the questions tackled the team's identity and philosophy and plans to find two new coordinators and a general manager. But ...

Nick Saban Is The Ultimate Freakshow
Nick Saban won his third BCS title in four years last night, and given the likelihood that he'll reject the idea of sucking in the NFL one more time, he's probably going to win a lot more. He gets the best players and he trains those players better than any other coach possibly could. By the time h...

Here Is A Bunch Of People Insisting Notre Dame Would Have Won Last Night If Not For The Referees
The Alabama Crimson Tide dominated Notre Dame in last night's BCS Championship Game. This really is not debatable. Alabama beat the Irish on offense, on defense, and on special teams. They led the game 35-0 at one point. They rolled up 529 yards on a Notre Dame defense that was supposed to be among...

The Cowboys Took A Swipe At The NHL On Twitter, But The Dallas Stars (Eventually) Gave It Right Back
Hockey's back! (We think.) And no one in Dallas gives a shit! (Which actually might be true.) Ah, but when you've won just one playoff game in 16 years—and counting!—it's probably not a good idea to throw shade at one of your neighbors the way the Dallas Cowboys did on Twitter yesterday morning:...
