a Page 6799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Say Hello To The World's Longest Golf Club
As the USGA pushes for a ban on belly putters, one strange man is taking drivers the same way. This is Michael Furrh, an Arlington (Texas) golf pro, taking a swing with a 14-foot-2.5-inch club. Guinness World Record auditors were on hand, and the ball traveled 146 yards. Perhaps it's not the most ...

After Injury, Soccer Player Now Has Too Many Knees
This is the leg of Celtic winger Kris Commons, a few hours after being fouled in a Champions League win over Spartak Moscow that sent Celtic through to the round of 16. It has too many bumps in it....

Introducing Sonny ****, The Cal Bears' New Football Coach
A little more than two weeks after firing Jeff Tedford, the Cal Bears have their man: They've hired Louisiana Tech coach Sonny ****. ****'s Bulldogs had the nation's top-ranked offense this season; they averaged 51.5 points and 577.92 yards per game. ****'s Tech team finished with a 9-3 record but w...

Mark Sanchez Is A Bad Quarterback. That's Why He Shouldn't Try To Play It Safe.
During Sunday's Fox telecast of Mark Sanchez's public flogging, in between the moments when Brian Billick repeated "jump street" and read copy for New Girl, a graphic popped up: Mark Sanchez, it read, had turned the ball over 81 times since his NFL career began in 2009, the second most turnovers of ...

The Last 12 Hours Of Jovan Belcher's Life: What We Know So Far
We're still getting new and revised details about the timeline of events leading up to Jovan Belcher's murder-suicide. Below is everything we know so far, based on a number of media reports, police statements, and other sources. ...

Fuck You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA's Best New Team Name
So it looks like the New Orleans Hornets are going to change their name to become the Pelicans. You look around, and there are a bunch of smartasses making fun of this new name. Oh, a pelican, that's intimidating, they sneer. Well, here's what's up. These people don't know anything about good team n...

<em>The New Yorker's</em> Story On Paul Finebaum Forever Stains The Magazine's Annals With This Passage
The New Yorker is a standard-bearer of American literary reportage. The Paul Finebaum Radio Network, Alabama talk radio's most popular source for sports-related Southern exceptionalism, is, uh, not. But that doesn't mean the two can't make a happy pair....

Chad Greenway Wants Vikings Fans To Get "Super-Duper Drunk" This Sunday
The surprising Minnesota Vikings are 6-6 right now and still in the hunt for a playoff spot in the NFC. Their make-or-break game is this weekend against the Bears at the MetroDome, and linebacker Chad Greenway wants fans to show their support by getting shithoused at the game....
![The FBI Is Raiding The House Of Former NFL Tackle Jason Fabini [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/187jblu8tl7ckjpg.jpg)
The FBI Is Raiding The House Of Former NFL Tackle Jason Fabini [UPDATE]
We don’t know what goes on in Fort Wayne, Ind. We’ve never been there and have no desire to visit. But we do know that today, in Fort Wayne, local, state, and federal officials carried out a raid on two homes owned by longtime NFL offensive tackle Jason Fabini, who played for the Jets, Cowboys, and ...

The NFL Is Still Holding Back Saturday Football Because The NFL Hates You
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Man Shoots At Police Because He Was Upset The Giants Lost To The Redskins
What could possibly possess a Florida man to beat up his wife, shoot at three deputies trying to arrest him, and hole up in his house for an hours-long standoff? RG3. Also, lots of alcohol and pills....

Woody Paige Reported That Colorado Hired A Football Coach. Colorado Has Not Hired A Football Coach.
There it is, you guys. Denver Post columnist and ESPN clown-bro Woody Paige did a real bang-up job of shoe-leather reporting last night. He was first with the news that Butch Jones was leaving the University of Cincinnat—wait, what?...

Listen To A Possibly Shitfaced Bernie Kosar Ramble On A Cleveland Radio Show
Former NFL quarterback Bernie Kosar appeared on 850 WKNR, Cleveland's ESPN affiliate, this week for his regular spot on "The Hooligans" show. The segment had to be cut short, unfortunately, because Kosar sounded like he was completely wasted. Initially the two hosts laughed, thinking Kosar was play...

Which NFL Exec Was Screwing Hookers? Let's Hear Your Guesses!
Anna Gristina, a New York madam who is currently serving a five-year probation stint after being convicted of promoting prostitution, told the New York Post that she is planning to reveal the names of some of her bigger clients on an episode of Dr. Phil. What's more, Gristina claims that one of thes...

Roger Goodell Was A Narc In High School, And He's Proud Of It
Whoa hey, loogit who's gracing the cover of this week's Time magazine: your friend and Peter King's, Roger Goodell. Sean Gregory has a lengthy profile of the NFL commissioner in this week's issue, and it contains the usual bits of hagiography (he keeps in shape! his daddy didn't like Vietnam, and th...

A Message From Mike Vrabel's Stitched-Up Forehead: Always Wear A Helmet When Head-Butting People Wearing Helmets
Mike Vrabel has been a retired football player for a little more than a year now. After 14 NFL seasons, he couldn't really stay away, transitioning immediately into a role as the linebackers coach at Ohio State, his alma mater, before staying on with Urban Meyer to work as the Buckeyes' defensive li...

A Report From The Luckiest Man Alive: Christina Hendricks Taught Me All About Whisky
I have a great appreciation for fine whisky, but I am no means an expert on the subject. Luckily, I was in the unique position to have none other than talented actress (we all know her as Joan on Mad Men) and whisky lover Christina Hendricks teach me everything I need to know about Johnnie Walker's ...

Which NFL Pundits Made The Least Terrible Predictions In Week 13? Grading ESPN, Yahoo, And CBS
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com....
![This Lady Behind The Clippers Bench Was The Only One Unimpressed By Last Night's Performance [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Lady Behind The Clippers Bench Was The Only One Unimpressed By Last Night's Performance [UPDATED]
Last night's 112-90 Clippers win over the Mavericks was a performance the AP called "dominating" and one that featured a series of spectacular dunks and lobs—one of which we've already featured this morning....