a Page 6834 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What To Watch Instead Of People Pretending They Know Who Won The Election
In lieu of watching various correspondents attempt to decide the election based on two states' poll results, here are some better options....
Bookmaker Says It's 1/2 The NHL Cancels The Entire Season
Don't panic! Yes, Bovada (formerly Bodog) released the latest odds on there ever being a '12-'13 NHL season, and no, it's not comforting....
The Grierson & Leitch Endorsements: Our Best Movie Presidents
In the spirit of Election Day, we here at Grierson & Leitch headquarters have decided to do our own formal endorsements. These are our full-throated endorsements of the cinematic candidates who have shown they have the fortitude and judgment to lead this great land....
Important: Not Every Doping Cyclist Story Is About Lance Armstrong
South African cyclist David George failed a drug test for EPO this summer, and his suspension was announced today. His transgression has nothing to do with Lance Armstrong, who is a completely separate human. We feel it is important to make this distinction, because it is apparently not clear to eve...
Three Idiots Have Voted For Nick Saban For President (So Far)
It's early on Election Day, but so far two Alabama football fans have voted for Nick Saban for president, while one more has voted for "Nicolas Saban," presumably a frightening hybrid of the Alabama coach and Santa Claus....
Now A High School Football Coach, Luther Campbell Is As Boring As He Wanna Be
The New York Times caught up with former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell, who now coaches defense for a high school football team in the same Miami neighborhood in which he grew up. Among the revelations: Campbell might have five children with five different women, but he's now married to a law...
Which State Would Win A 50-State Battle Royal?
Oh hey, it's Election Day. Don't forget to vote! Just kidding. I don't give a crap if you vote or not. It just makes me feel like a BIG SERIOUS PERSON to lecture all of you about going out and voting. It's the Easterbrookian thing to do. You have a duty to your country and your Lord. Now get out the...
Jeter Is For Obama; A-Rod Is For Romney: Who Are Sports Figures Voting For Today?
Who should you be rooting for today? Here's a list of some notable athletes and other sports figures who are endorsing either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney....
A Brief History Of Sports In Political Cartoons
For generations, editorial cartoonists have been boiling down complicated political issues to visual gags—and perhaps more often than with any other field, have turned to sports metaphors to make their points....
David Stern Did Some Play-By-Play Announcing Last Night
David Stern joined the Utah Jazz broadcast team during last night's Jazz-Grizzlies game to talk about the state of the NBA or something else equally boring. The interview wasn't a complete waste of time, though, because it gave Stern the opportunity to test his announcing chops and call some of th...
No, It Was Definitely A Good Idea To Cancel The New York City Marathon
Last night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Jones wrote a column arguing that this past weekend's New York City Marathon should not have been canceled, despite the fallout from Hurricane Sandy....
Perry Jones III Loves Pizza Rolls
Oklahoma City Thunder rookie Perry Jones III loves pizza rolls. Our source for this? Perry Jones III....
Who Is Being Told To Stick To Basketball Today? (LeBron James. It's LeBron James.)
It's Election Day! On Monday, LeBron James urged his followers in a gentle and oblique way to vote for Barack Obama. This is a thing that people to do in America, even sports stars. Another thing that people do in America: tell other people not talk about politics, especially sports stars....
Terry Bradshaw's "Bucket Of Chicken" Comment Was About Jimmy Johnson, Who Apparently Loves Chicken
On Sunday, Terry Bradshaw made a comment about Reggie Bush "chasing a bucket of chicken" while doing the highlights on Fox's NFL halftime show. Today, he went on WFAN to explain that his comment wasn't racially motivated, but rather a reference to an inside joke about fellow analyst Jimmy Johnson's...
Here Are The Highlights Of Chris Berman's Interviews With President Obama And Mitt Romney
Last night's Monday Night Football was no oasis from politics for sports fans, as ESPN repeated its performance from 2008 and had the major candidates for president appear during halftime for a conversation with Chris Berman. Berman, who continues to somehow blackmail Vince Doria into letting him...
Who Are The Computers Voting For? We Ask Siri And Others For Advice
I'm about to go vote, and I haven't read up much on the issues. I don't know which candidate loves America more or who has the bigger penis. So I asked the only objective sources I could find: computers. In case you're still on the fence, I've copied their advice below. ...
Did Ray Allen Change His Phone Number Or Just Dodge The Celtics' Calls?
Maybe you missed this because you were following any of the 300 more important NBA storylines, but the ballad of Ray Allen's cell phone has been one of the dumber and more fascinating subplots of the early NBA season. Let's recap....
Chris Paul Embarrassed Most Of The Cleveland Defense On This One Play
Spin move past Kyrie Irving, crossover on Samardo Samuels, ball fake Anderson Varejao out of his headband. They're all just AI characters in Chris Paul's video game, helplessly watching him fill up the combo meter....
Dion Waiters's 28-Point Performance Put A Big Smile On His Face
The Cleveland Cavaliers downed the Clippers in Los Angeles last night 108-101 thanks to some mega-clutch fourth quarter play from Dion Waiters (with a little help from Kyrie Irving). Waiters hit back-to-back threes in the final minutes to hold off Chris Paul and Blake Griffin, and the result put bi...