a Page 6838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jordany Valdespin Taking A Fastball Right To The Dick: A Photo Essay
Yesterday we brought you the breaking news that Mets utility player Jordany Valdespin got a 94-mph fastball right to the junk. Today, after the smoke has cleared, the swelling has subsided, and manager Terry Collins has publicly chided him for not wearing a cup, we have photos....
Fan Makes Layup, Free Throw, Half-Court Shot, <em>Forgets To Take Three-Pointer</em>, Does Not Win $50,000
At halftime of Sunday's Missouri Valley Conference final, a 24-year-old student made the shot of his life. Alex Permann needed to hit, in order, a layup, a foul shot, a three, and one from center court, all within 24 seconds, in order to win $50,000. After he sank his half-courter, he thrust his arm...
UK Hockey Team Doesn't Regret Ditching Sex Offender Owner: “If The Guy Was Here I’d Say ‘Go Fuck Yourself'"
The Belfast Giants, of the UK's EIHL, made for what seemed like a feel-good story last month when they mutinied against their new owner. After the Giants had been purchased by an American named Christopher Knight, executives discovered that Knight was a registered sex offender in Florida, and refuse...
This Is Why Giving Gatorade Baths Indoors Is A Bad Idea
Not only did the Lady Knights fail to properly douse their coach in Gatorade after winning an NJCA district qualifying game, they placed him squarely atop a liquid death trap. At least they had enough sense to retreat from the puddle, unlike the would-be hero who comes dashing down from the bleache...
Piggy Poop Balls Has Been Doxxed (Photo NSFW Because Pig Has Giant Poop-Smeared Balls)
Buzzfeed weighs in with the biggest story of the day (not even joking). Katie Notopoulos has uncovered the identity of Piggy Poop Balls, internet porkmeme and Deadspin mascot and hall-of-fame nominee. Spoiler alert: he's a pig with giant balls and he pooped on his giant balls....
Should The NFL Draft Become An Auction Draft?
Before we get to the Funbag, one thing: my new book, Someone Could Get Hurt, is due out May 16. You can find links to pre-order it through my shitass homepage. It's all new Dadspin material. There's nothing republished from Deadspin, so you won't be spending your money on shit you've already read. T...
D-Backs Reliever Attempts To Buy Baseball Card, Gets In Testy Spat With Seller
You probably remember Brad Ziegler as the submarine-style reliever who pitched 39 consecutive scoreless innings to begin his rookie season with the Oakland A's. But what you probably don't know about Ziegler, who pitches for the Arizona Diamondbacks now, is that he is an avid baseball card collector...
Golfer Falls Down 18-Foot Sinkhole On Fairway
When one of Mark Mihal's playing partners called the clubhouse at a course in Waterloo, Ill., on Friday, he had to give an assurance that he was not making a prank call. But, uh, out on the 14th fairway, he wanted the clubhouse to know, they were going to need a ladder and a rope. Oh, and call an am...
Michigan High School Wins Playoff Game After Holding The Ball For Seven Straight Minutes
This, dear basketball lovers, is why the NBA has had a shot clock for 59 years. During a Michigan Class C tournament game last night, Muskegon Heights pooped all over the spirit of the game by holding the ball for almost an entire quarter. The crowd booed, the other team was confused, and it didn't ...
Pranksters Record Two NFL GMs Discussing Free Agency Over The Phone
It's a brilliant prank, and it never should've worked. How did a couple of 20-year-olds listen in on two NFL executives talking shop the day before free agency began? A little luck, great timing, and a 73-year old general manager who doesn't really understand how telephones work....
Russell Westbrook Throws Up A Half-Court Shot That Is Total Nonsense
He was clearly trying to draw a foul here, and although he may have actually succeeded—Gary Neal's hands were right on Westbrook's chest when the shot went up—this shot was ill-advised. You can't really expect the referee to be ready to call a foul on a half-court shot with 18 seconds left on the s...
Good News, Everyone, Dennis Rodman Is On His Way To The Vatican
Dennis Rodman is currently headed to the Vatican to try and arrange a meeting with the soon-to-be-elected Pope. This trip comes on the heels of Rodman's visit to North Korea, where he became super good buddies with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. So I guess this is just what Dennis Rodman does no...
Virginia High School Basketball Coach Has World's Longest Legs
Svetlana Pankratova is tall, but not absurdly tall—either 6'5" or 6'7", according to different sources. Her legs, however, account for a whopping 51.9 inches of that total. This is, perhaps not surprisingly, a world record. (A Guinness World Record, anyway.)...
Don Cherry Told A Sad Story About His Goldfish
Don Cherry loves his fish. We know this, because back in January he went on a multi-Tweet rant about the little guys. One of them "[hadn't] been acting right for a month, swimming sideways at the top," and Don was worried. So he "[wondered] if he would like warm water." A little warm water in the ta...
Penn State Paid $8 Million For The Freeh Report
The Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal has cost Penn State more than $41 million, according to the latest figures released by the university on a special website designed to chronicle PSU's compliance with NCAA sanctions and recommendations in the Freeh Report. But of perhaps even more intere...
Michael Vick Cancels Book Tour Because Of Death Threats
Vick was scheduled to sign copies of his book, “Michael Vick: Finally Free," in three Barnes & Noble locations in Atlanta, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. That's not accidental, those areas are probably the only places in the country where at least some people like him....