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How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature
I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by ...

Just Try To Ignore Those Racist Chants At Euro 2012
The theme of the European Championship, which begins tomorrow, is racism. (To be fair to Poland and the Ukraine, the themes of international soccer over the last five years have been racism and goal-line technology. UEFA has made roughly the same progress on the two.) The BBC kicked it off with thei...

The Twins Couldn't Even Give Jeff Manship A Jersey With His Name Spelled Correctly
Poro Jffe Mansihp. Hs'e bene ni teh Minnestoa orginzatoin sinec 2006, adn hs'e boucned bakc adn forht bewteen teh minros adn teh Twisn sinec maknig hsi bgi-leauge deubt ni '09. Hee wsa juts callde upp fro teh firts tiem thsi seasno Mya 27, adn lsat nihgt wsa hsi firts appearacne ni na awya gaem, os ...

Metta World Peace Does The Weather
Somewhere, in a parallel universe, the Lakers won the Western Conference last night in a final hurrah for an aging team. Here in this universe, the Lakers are out, the Thunder are moving on, and Metta World Peace is a weatherman in Vancouver....

Reggie Miller Will Never, Ever Go Away
"I hope America and the nation embraces this team."...

Kurt Busch Compares A Rough Night On The Track To "Premature Ejaculation"
It wasn't a good night for resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch at the Prelude to the Dream, an annual dirt-track charity race that costs $25 on pay-per-view. Busch, who is already suspended from this weekend's race at Pocono Raceway for threatening to beat up a Sporting News reporter last Saturday, ran...

Fox's Baseball Analysis Continues To Get More In-Depth
Here's a shot from Saturday's Cubs-Giants matchup, in which the Ford "keys to the game" were so basic they were more apt of being sponsored by Power Wheels or perhaps Matchbox....

Kings Coach Darryl Sutter Doesn't Understand Your Question, Sir
It's almost as if Los Angeles Kings coach Darryl Sutter would've preferred hoisting the Stanley Cup tonight rather than fielding inane questions that both misidentify and mispronounce players' names. (C'mon, LA media, this is getting ridiculous.) Puck Daddy's got the rough transcript, though it la...

New Jersey Devils Coach Peter DeBoer Will <em>Not</em> Be Distracted
There's nothing like holding your concentration during the biggest game of your coaching career. Well done, Peter DeBoer. Well done, indeed....

"Good Job, Good Effort" Kid Identified As World's Best Miami Heat Fan
Nine-year-old Jack Meyer of Coral Gables, Florida, is not, to some's chagrin, the world's trolliest troll of a Celts fan. He's actually an insanely upbeat Heat fan, and that's kind of awesome. NBC Miami interviewed the youngster earlier today to try and get a sense of what it was like to become the...

Why Did A Pittsburgh Newspaper Remove A Reference To Sidney Crosby's Contract Demands From Its Website?
Toward the end of a story published Monday about the Penguins' trade with the Capitals for goaltender Tomas Vokoun, the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review did a roundup of the Pens' offseason priorities, including their upcoming negotiations to extend Sidney Crosby's contract, which expires after next season...

Deadspin Up All Night: Good Job, Good Effort
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Give it up for Erik....

Better Know An Umpire: Ted Barrett
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Even Keyon Dooling Is Talking Smack About The Heat Complaining To Refs
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Everybody's doing it....

Jose Canseco Can't Hit Anymore, But He Can Still Get Himself Tossed For Arguing Balls And Strikes
So how's it going for Jose Canseco in his stint with the Worcester (Mass.) Tornadoes of the Can-Am-League? Well, he's hitting just .171 with zero home runs and 15 strikeouts in 41 at-bats. And while he has drawn nine walks, he doesn't always seem to get a favorable strike zone, as you can see in t...
![Red Sox Draft Pick Not Allowed To Walk At HS Graduation After Skipping Rehearsal To Negotiate Contract [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oyoqrc6838ajpg.jpg)
Red Sox Draft Pick Not Allowed To Walk At HS Graduation After Skipping Rehearsal To Negotiate Contract [UPDATE]
The Boston Red Sox took Ty Buttrey in the fourth round of the MLB draft on Monday night, the same night his classmates at Providence High School in Charlotte, N.C., were rehearsing for their June 12 graduation ceremony. But Buttrey wasn't there. He was too busy getting rich....

Local Newshounds Unleashed To Find "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid
A man claiming to be the father of young Jack Meyer, the "Good Job, Good Effort" kid, left a comment on a post at Midwest Sports Fans. In under two hours, two separate CBS affiliates left their own comments, desperately trying to get in touch with the family....

"I Am Sorry If I Had Disappoint You": A Dialogue Between An Extremely Frustrated Gamer And <em>Madden</em> Tech Support
From tipster "Peter King" comes this transcript of his encounter with Electronic Arts tech support. Mr. "King" comes bearing questions about his online Madden league. Manish from tech support brings up a nonexistent "online pass." Relations deteriorate pretty quickly from there. Watch as our Madden ...

Should Brent Musburger Apologize For Calling John Carlos And Tommie Smith "Black-Skinned Storm Troopers" 44 Years Ago?
John Carlos and Tommie Smith, each raising a fist on the medal stand at the 1968 Olympics, have become an icon of that decade, and that climate, and of the changes that were a-coming. They're heroes now, but that the time they were seen by many as traitors, and agitators, and by at least one up-and-...

The Miami Heat's "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid As Heard Throughout History
He was there to tell Napoleon "Good job!" when the Little Emperor invaded Russia. He called the 1962 Mets season a "good effort." The young Heat fan who so enthusiastically endorsed his team's performance after last night's loss to the Celtics is no stranger to momentous occasions—in sports or oth...