a Page 7086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Marlins Have Fired Ozzie Guillen
The Marlins have fired manager Ozzie Guillen, reports everybody, after a hilarious 69-93 season that included a five-game suspension, a feud with his closer, and a premature reality-show cancellation, and fell short of everyone's expectations. The Marlins were apparently unaware of Guillen's body of...
Now's Your Last Chance to Let Us Fix Your Inbox
A few weeks ago we asked all you stuck-in-the-dark-ages-types to send your email-related quandaries (for instance: What time is the best time to email your boss when you've been out all night and plan to be "sick" the next day?) to [email protected], with the promise of them being answered by t...
It's Surprisingly Miserable Being An Enormous 12-Year-Old Hockey Player
At first glance, you'd think it's good to be a big boy. Ethan Lavallee is just 12 years old, and he already runs 6-foot-5½, 192 lbs. This should be an advantage in peewee hockey, and beyond—if Outliers' theory on young players' physical development carrying over through the rest of their lives is ac...
Wyoming Football Coach Suspended, Fined For Phenomenal "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Tirade
Dave Christensen's punishment was handed down yesterday for this, and it's rather steep: a one-game suspension and a $50,000 fine. The decision was made by the school's athletic director with the full support of the university president, according to a statement the AD issued that said some things...
Patrick Kane's New Swiss Hockey Team Has Heard Some Things About How He Acts Off The Ice
The NHL has foolishly locked out Chicago Blackhawks right wing and frequent Deadspin subject Patrick Kane, in addition to 719 other players. Once the lockout became official in September, many of those players signed in Russia and elsewhere in Europe. Others decided they'd cool their heels and wait ...
Jay Cutler's Press Conference Was The Chicago Fox Affiliate's Presidential Debate Highlight
It was a busy night last night for WFLD, the Chicago Fox affiliate. Just after the station finished airing Game 7 of the NLCS, there was the Bears game and the presidential debate to go over. But what better debate highlight was there than a live shot of Jay Cutler's press conference? Cutler was r...
Al Davis Would Have Coached At Penn State If The Weather Weren't So Bad
When Al Davis died last year, he left the most mixed of NFL legacies. He did so much for minorities and his players. But he also he also ran his team into the ground for two decades while hopping along the California coast in search of stadium renovations. He gave us John Madden. But he also gave us...
![The Wizards Went To Six Flags, And Emeka Okafor Was Too Tall To Ride The Roller Coaster [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18328jt90bdurjpg.jpg)
The Wizards Went To Six Flags, And Emeka Okafor Was Too Tall To Ride The Roller Coaster [UPDATE]
Last night saw a party for Washington season ticket holders at Six Flags America—a night spent going on rides with and getting autographs from all their favorite Wizards, and Cartier Martin too. Reader Mike was there, and he saw something he'd never seen before: a person being turned away from a rid...
UNC Receiver Erik Highsmith Reportedly Plagiarized An Essay About Chickens Written By 11-Year-Olds
From The News & Observer:...
Why Did LSU Airbrush Out The Crosses Painted On These Dudes' Chests?
What you see above are two different versions of the same photo. The photo was taken at a recent LSU football game and the students in the picture are members of a Christian cheering section known as the Painted Posse. The original version (on the bottom) shows the students with crosses painted on ...
Towson University Linebacker Accuses Coach Of Doctoring Practice Logs, Threatening To Fuck Up Jesus
Former Towson University linebacker Trevor Walker made campus conversation more interesting today when he and another unnamed former player published a column about head coach Rob Ambrose in The Towerlight, Towson's student newspaper. Walker's screed denounces Ambrose for resorting to blasphemy in ...
Terrell Suggs Acted Like A Kid With ADD On Ravens Photo Day
Terrell Suggs looked pretty good in his return to action, finishing with four tackles, a sack, and a deflection. Yes, the Ravens got blown out, but Suggs is feeling like his old happy-go-lucky self, and you know what that means: horrifying gummy smiles....
The Giants' Pennant Run Ended Right As Rain
How many LCS clinchers, not involving your team, do you actually remember? Carlos Beltran standing stock-still, Aaron Boone going deep, Sid Bream's slide, Chris Chambliss's homer...and that's probably about it. It's probably fair to add last night's Giants win, a 9-0 drubbing that was decided by th...
Gary Sheffield Is Now An Agent, And He Wants You To Know That He Still Doesn't Like Scott Boras
If you follow the insane micromovements of the baseball hot stove season, you probably, over the past year or two, had a reaction like the one Hardball Talk had in February. "Apparently, Gary Sheffield is an agent," the headline read. Sheffield had just negotiated a minor-league deal for journeyman ...
The Flesh-Eating Turf Monster Victimized Matt Stafford Last Night
The Bears knocked off the Lions 13-7 last night in a mess of a football game that dropped the hapless and hopeless Lions to 2-4 on the season. Detroit quarterback Matt Stafford had an especially bad night, struggling to find open receivers and managing meager statistics: 28 of 46 for 261 yards. Her...
"3 words... FIRE MIKE MATHENY": The Best Fans In Baseball Are Having A Major Meltdown
Cardinals fans are known the world over as the best fans in baseball. This is, of course, indisputable but it makes what has to be a fandom-wide psychotic break after watching their beloved Cardinals get shellacked by the Giants in Game 7 of the NLCS troubling indeed....
The San Francisco Giants Are Going To The World Series
The Giants trounced the Cardinals by a score of 9-0, completing an impressive comeback from a 3-1 series deficit and managing to kill the previously immortal St. Louis Cardinals. Even a team as resilient as this Cardinals team can only be carried so far by the likes of Daniel Descalso, Pete Kozma, ...
Ndamukong Suh Tried To Break Jay Cutler: Detroit-Chicago, In A GIF
Chicago 13, Detroit 7: This unnecessarily vicious hit notwithstanding, the Lions got steamrolled by the Bears, to the extent that a team can get steamrolled in a 13-7 game. It was one of those "defensive battles," I suppose....