a Page 7341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Nationals Are Now Using Their Mailing List To Send Fans Ads For Discount Furniture
Damn it, Bob of Bob's Discount Furniture. We expected more out of you. Never mind that you already advertise during Mets and Red Sox games. The Nationals? Really?...

SF Giants Payroll Manager Caught Embezzling After She Gave Herself A $300k World Series Bonus Despite Her $80k Salary
File this one under stupid (alleged) criminals who are also world champions: The KGO-TV I-Team has more....

The NFL Network Cannot Locate New York City On A Map
This is from tonight's NFL Total Access, and we borrowed reader Schnu's comment for the headline, since it seemed particularly appropriate....

West Virginia Man Who Went Streaking Near NASCAR Race Also Caught With Live Raccoon
Joshua Emery Greene looks bemused in the mugshot featured in the above video. We find this an appropriate emotion, because we're bemused too. Why did he go streaking in a parking lot off Route 394 in Bristol, Tennessee, where the Irwin Tools Night Race took place on Saturday? And why was he carryi...

The Lead Singer Of Iron Maiden Will Fly Folks Stranded By The Hurricane To Iceland
One thing I've learned, as I've slumped into adulthood, is that you may have dear friends, but none of them are as reliable as aging English rock stars. Such as Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson, who will do a nice thing for a bunch of Icelanders stranded in New York by Hurricane Irene....

Wild Mushroom Dong Is The Dongiest Unintentional Dong We've Ever Seen
Reader MissBullEsq sends in perhaps the most phallic flora we've seen in some time....

Javaris Crittenton Allegedly Killed That Lady Because Someone Stole $55k Of Jewelry From Him
From the AP: "[Crittenton] appeared to be retaliating for being robbed of $55,000 worth of jewelry, police said. [...] Crittenton told police he and a friend were leaving a barbershop around 10:50 p.m. April 21 when two teenagers surprised them as they returned to their car, according to a police re...

Terrell Owens, NFL Receiver Whom No Team Wants, Can Find Comfort In Support From Lisa Leslie
That's praise on your work ethic from a three-time MVP, T.O. She has two championships. Why can't the girl get an RT? [Twitter]...

Watch Lee Corso Try To Talk With His Mouth Full Of Grass
This is an outtake from the promos ESPN's shot for College Gameday, featuring analyst Lee Corso and LSU boss Les Miles. Strangely, it's no less informative than the real thing....

HOLY SHIT MIDWEST MULLET PERM
We all owe our gratitude to tipster Matt, who spotted this "merm" (mullet + perm, he suggests) at the Packers' training camp recently. Matt called it "your very own Davy [Crockett] hat." I'd point out that it would also be perfect under a skiing or hockey helmet: there's no risk of helmet hair, beca...

This Evening: The Giant Fish Tank That Doubles As A Headboard On Chad Ochocinco's Bed
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 30, the day we learned you weren't comfortable knowing you were our masturbation fodder. Photo courtesy Shutdown Corner, via Sportress of Blogitude. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Visual Evidence That Ray Allen Has Never Moved His Right Elbow
Papa Shuttlesworth taught him well. [via Got 'Em Coach]...

Miami Players Who Got Cash And Cars From Nevin Shapiro May Have To Pay Benefits Back In Bankruptcy Court
Oh, boo. Not only is this gang of Miami players being unfairly scapegoated for violating silly rules of a bloated, ineffective system—now they might have to give back the rewards they got....

New Orleans TV Network Hires Notoriously Flaky Fred Hickman
Hickman, formerly of CNN, ESPN, and the YES Network, heads down to New Orleans to be sports director at WVUE-TV. SportsGrid also mentioned Hickman's checkered job past which were highlighted in this little Deadspin post: "Number ten...Fred." (PHOTO: Erskine.edu)...

Helmetless South Carolina Football Player Crashes Moped While Trying To Carry A Pizza
College football players seem to be having a tough time navigating mopeds and scooters. Last year, there was the Kentucky running back who broke his arm during an accident, followed by the Iowa lineman whose frightening crash into a truck was captured on video. Then came Georgia, where coach Mark R...

Dad Of The Year Referees Son's Street Fight, Attacks Kid After Son Loses
Before we dive in, let's play Ohio Or Florida! It's Florida....

Why The 1991 Saints Dropped Their Lame "Cha-Ching" Catchphrase
The New Orleans Saints won their first division title in 1991, which is weird both because the Saints had been around for more than two decades before that point and because the 1991 Saints were a weird team. They were 11-5. Steve Walsh and Bobby Hebert split time at QB, and neither played well. Gil...

Ed Hochuli Says The Beach Is *Flexes* THATAWAY
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the muscliest of refs talks about the new rule changes....

Gilbert Arenas Deletes Account After Twitter Fight, Depriving World Of Free Sneakers And Sexism
We'll say this about Gilbert Arenas's Twitter account, which was taken down some time today: it wasn't boring, like LeBron James's worthless feed, and it wasn't used for incessant self-promotion, like, well, every pro athlete ever. It was just sort of obsessed with sneakers and almost criminally off...

Man Drops Pruning Shears, Falls Eyesocket-First Onto Pruning Shears
Here is how this awful awful gross awful thing happened: an 86-year-old Arizona man dropped his pruning shears, which landed pointy-side down. Bending to pick them up, he lost his balance and went face-first into them....