a Page 7380 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: A Team So Funny, We Forgot To Laugh
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 2, the day we tricked you into thinking it was our birthday again. Photo via Slashfilm. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Braylon Edwards Has The Kind Of Résumé No Free Agent Wide Receiver Would Want
Former Jets and Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards is a free agent. Edwards is 6' 3", spry, a leaper. He has 39 touchdowns in six seasons, which ties him for 23rd among active players. And he's one of the youngest in that bunch....

Colin Cowherd Predicts NFL Teams Will Go 268-244 This Year
Cowherd has the entire league 24 games over .500. Such optimism! It's what makes him the best. [ESPN Radio, via Dan Steinberg]...

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...

You Made Stubby Clapp Angry
There are very few memorable players with just 25 career major league at-bats. And yet, we vividly remember Stubby Clapp from his brief 2001 stint with the Cardinals. What could it have been?...

You Can Own Keith Olbermann's Pseudo-Award That Even Keith Doesn't Want
The Golden Mike Award is...not the biggest award out there. They're handed out by the Radio and Television News Association of Southern California, so if you work in Southern California, you probably have one. Keith Olbermann has 16....

The Official Deadspin Guide To Booger Growth
I built a new PC this weekend, and by "I built it" I mean I stood there while my brother-in-law, who knows a lot about computers, assembled it. I probably should have washed the Sun Chips cheese powder off my hands before touching the processor. It's very cool to sit there for a day and take a look ...

Thankfully, Nyjer Morgan Has Continued Giving Postgame Interviews In Character
Yes, the Brewers have won seven in a row and opened up moderate leads on not-good-enough St. Louis and really-not-good-enough Pittsburgh, but that success isn't the most exciting thing in Milwaukee baseball. Nor is Prince Fielder's contract year or John Axford's mustache or the Yuniesky Betancourt...

Miami Cries Out For A Neckbearded Savior
Lo, the echoing green of Sun Life Stadium. A scrimmage, Dolphin against Dolphin, for the hearts and minds of the Dolphin faithful. And who should presume to represent the faithful, their unshattered, unshaken loyalty, their loyal teal? A leader; a general; a man....

This Woman's Kneecap Is Pretty Sure That Asdrubal Cabrera Hit A Two-Run Homer Last Night
In the eighth inning of the Indians-Red Sox game last night, with the game tied at five runs apiece, Asdrubal Cabrera's hit a line drive to right field that was initially ruled a single. Umpires reviewed the play and called it a homer — Cabrera's second of the night — to give Cleveland a two-run l...

Randy Moss: The Weirdest Ever
Randy Moss is the most dangerous receiver to ever play in the NFL and the single most exciting player that ever played for my favorite team, Adrian Peterson included. He also happened to be the weirdest person ever to step onto a football field. ...

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...

The Best 9-Year Old Girl Pro Wrestler You'll See All Day
From Japanese women's wrestling promotion Stardom comes this amazing match pitting Canadian Kenny Omega against Haruka, the tiny terror of the turnbuckles. And before you dismiss it as just a cute stunt, give Haruka a chance — she combines the technical skills of Dean Malenko, the high-flying abil...

Rucker Park Was Too Small To Hold All Of Kevin Durant's Swag
Basketball! Because of the lockout, doesn't it seem like it's been an extra-long time since we've seen meaningful games, even though it'd still be the middle of the offseason in a normal year? I don't know that the glorified exhibitions at Rucker Park count as "meaningful," but last night's firewo...

Somebody Needs To Tell Hunter Pence To Lay Off The Donuts
Your morning roundup for Aug. 2, the day shoplifting just didn't pay. Photo via The 700 Level. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Nick Young Is An Unexpected Contender For The NBA's Premier Hipster
We've had some discussion in the Deadspin office today about the use of the word "hipster," and whether or not we can apply the term to Washington Wizards guard Nick Young, who scored 60 points in a Drew League game last night. Dickey claims that the term is too "fraught" and complicated to be so li...

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

The One Where A Woman Contemplates Selling Out Her Friend Who Banged Erick Aybar Last Weekend
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy....

This Evening: Talk To Women The Way Kobe Talks To Alex Morgan, With Both Hands In Your Pants
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 1, the day 50 naked people really showed Wall Street a thing or two about transparency. Photo via KCKRS. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Today In Very American Ledes
"A Georgia Tech football fan has filed a lawsuit after she says she was strip searched over a chicken sandwich." [WSBTV, H/T Last Angry Fan]...