a Page 7400 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Breaking: Eddy Curry Still A Fat-Ass
"Curry, 28, reportedly topped 350 pounds during his late March workout for the Heat. He lost a lot more weight - in excess of 20 pounds - between that point and late June, when he auditioned again for the Heat over several days. But he entered the lockout still at least 40 pounds overweight, accordi...
![Jay Mariotti Some Dude Impersonating Jay Mariotti Says US Women's Team Was Unpopular, Unpretty In School [CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pywshl5osm1jpg.jpg)
Jay Mariotti Some Dude Impersonating Jay Mariotti Says US Women's Team Was Unpopular, Unpretty In School [CORRECTION]
Your morning roundup for July 17, the day we welcomed back the best show on TV. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors. Via Jay Mariotti's Facebook, h/t to Justin....

Planking Reaches Its Inevitable Low Point With These Two Dallas News Anchors Named Chip And Tim
They ruined it for us....

Turns Out Rachel Uchitel Used To Date Elin Nordegren's New Boyfriend
Aw, the poor girl. She just can't win....

Rejoice: ESPYs Ratings Hit Their Lowest Point In Sixteen Years
We wrote this morning about the brewing anti-ESPN revolution the "Free Bruce" campaign exposed. No longer was ESPN everyone's mostly benevolent overlord—now it was the Soviet Central Committee, purging ne'er-do-well reporters wherever they might pop up....

Now You Can Watch US Women's Coach Pia Sundhage Sing Her Groovy Tunes
We ran a short item this morning on the musical stylings of Pia Sundhage, coach of the US Women's National Team. She sings to keep her players in line. We're told Joe Paterno does the same thing with Tony Bennett standards....

Five North Koreans Tested Positive For Steroids Because They Were Struck By Lightning, Says North Korea
We suspected all along that the DPRK's women's World Cup team would provide us with moments of unintentional comedy, but they've outdone themselves....

Science! Proves That No One Thought Hope Solo Was Hot Until She Went Brunette
Goalkeeper Hope Solo has adopted the Brandi Chastain USWNT Sex Symbol endowed chair, and our friends at KCKRS have decided to give this thing the data-driven treatment it deserves....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Hoops In A Foreign Land
Every week, SportsFeat picks a few great reads for Deadspin. Thanks to Yao Ming's retirement and Deron Williams's Turkish tour, here are some classics on the foreign wanderings of professional basketball players. Enjoy....

These Are The Most Damaged Barely Alive iPhones Owned By Deadspin Readers
This is the only fried device, in our collection of splendidly damaged iPhones that you, Deadspin readers, sent to enter the Deadspin iPhone repair contest. All the other iPhones work, in spite of every bit of pain you have inflicted upon them. VIEW THE PHONES »...

These Are The Most Damaged Barely Alive iPhones Owned By Deadspin Readers
This is the only fried device, in our collection of splendidly damaged iPhones that you, Deadspin readers, sent to enter the Deadspin iPhone repair contest. All the other iPhones work, in spite of every bit of pain you have inflicted upon them....

The US Women's Coach, Who Is Swedish, Fires Her Team Up By Occasionally Breaking Into Soft-Rock Song
Neither Hope Solo's ravishing skin nor disappearing nipple has carried the US Women's National Team to one game of the women's World Cup. Rather, the team can credit the musical stylings of its head coach, Pia Sundhage. She sings. And even though she's Swedish, she knows more than Cardigans and Ace ...

The NL Central Standings Look Like A Misprint, But Pittsburgh's Really In First
Your morning roundup for July 16, the day we wondered who was giving all thatmoney to Michele Bachmann. See anything worthwhile? Tip your editors....

Nightmare Ant Goes Nightmare Planking
If you're unfamiliar with the entity known around these parts at Nightmare Ant (birth name: Mad Ant, mascot for the Fort Wayne D-League team), he's a big ant. And he's horrifying. And despite the NBA lockout, he will not rest....

Arian Foster Stays In Shape By Riding A Mechanical Bull While Jared From Subway Looks On
Houston Texans running back Arian Foster rode a mechanical bull for a Subway-promotion-cum-charity-thing on Thursday. Jared looked on, with some other dude, and perhaps no one else....

Roger Federer Is Art In Warp Speed
In late June, French "action painter" Jean-Pierre Blanchard completed a Roger Federer portrait in just four minutes. The piece was bought for 16,000 Swiss Francs, or about $20,000 USD, and because all of the proceeds went to charity, we will refrain from speculating on its actual worth. We've gone...

This Evening: Ron Artest Tells The Worst Pot Joke You've Ever Heard
Your p.m. roundup for July 15, the day we bombed on Good Day New York. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier
The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season t...

On Patrick Kane's Injury
The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts....

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....