a Page 7411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dancing Kid Absolutely Kills "Thriller" At Mariners Game
One day, many centuries from now and possibly never, the world will have had enough of the "Thriller" renditions, and they will cease to delight us all. Today is not that day. There's a good chance that this particular take, which was shot during a game at Safeco Field last week, was a Mariners PR...

This Is Your Leg. This Is Your Leg On Cycling.
The human body was never designed to complete something like the Tour de France, let alone 15 of them. George Hincapie, best known as the longtime wingman/minion of Lance Armstrong, now sports a gnarly leg in the original sense of the word....

Joe Flacco's New Bride Is A Very Understanding Woman
Marriage is supposed to be compromising, right? [JasonPrezant.com, h/t Andy]...

Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. Today
Would you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...

Here's A Nice Lady Fan Peeing In Her Seat (NSFW)
We know. The line to the ladies room is long. We sympathize. But still: ew ew ew....

Erotica Failed To Get Michael Morse Into The All-Star Game
Your morning roundup for July 8, the day Carl Monday struck fear into the hearts of the Steroid Cartels. Photo via tipster Kal....

Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...

A Fan Fell To His Death At Tonight's Rangers/A's Game
A firefighter watching the Rangers/A's game with his young son tonight asked Texas outfielder Josh Hamilton for a foul ball just hit by Oakland's Conor Jackson in the top of the second inning. He tumbled over the railing, fell about 20 feet onto a concrete level and was pronounced dead at the hospit...

Here's A Picture Of A Boob Getting Grabbed At Fenway
This photo comes from tipster Matthew M. who notes, "Jerry Remy and his broadcast partner lost their shit after the couples they were talking about got a little randy....

He Apologized For His Unacceptable Behavior!
"Hey everyone. I'm taking this time to apologize for my involvement with the post game riots after the Bruins defeated the Canucks to take the Stanley Cup. My involvement was a bad decision I made in the heat of the moment and it something that i feel a profound sense of regret towards. I would li...

Here's Your Commemorative Keepsake Poster Of The Sun Pornographically Manipulating A Thermometer
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong....

Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino Appeared On A Chicago Country-Music Radio Station, Mmmhmm
Just one hour ago, Marco McGrath tweeted this message: "Someone get @morkencino a job already #overexposure." Maybe Marco McGrath should just come up with 10 grand and strap on some hunting boots, because Mork won't be overexposed until Friday at the earliest....

Red Wings Defenseman Mike Commodore Considering Jersey Number 64
Mike Commodore (@commie22 on Twitter) is not a particularly special hockey player. He's a -10 with 104 career points in 454 games, with a Stanley Cup and some great accompanying red beards. He just signed a one-year deal with the Red Wings....

The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...

Mine That Bird's Trainer Pisses Like A Racehorse Near Iowa-Area Slot Machine
"I don't know what I was thinking," said [Chip] Woolley, a 47-year-old who rose from obscurity in New Mexico to saddle Mine That Bird to a 50-1 upset of the 2009 Kentucky Derby. "I messed up. I know I did, and it's something that will never happen again. It's a regrettable situation. I went and met ...

Dear Grantland: Your Motto Is Wrong
ESPN's Grantland still lacks a forum for comments and corrections, so we are providing this space to help the site's audience share its thoughts—criticism, praise, or otherwise. Comments below reflect the opinions of Grantland readers and are not necessarily the views of Deadspin. Readers who have a...

There's A New Shawn Kemp In Town, Seattle
Shawn Kemp, Jr. (not pictured), a 6'9" center from Canton, Georgia has signed with the Washington Huskies and has already started classes at the university. It's not the Sonics, but it is a Kemp. [ESPN]...

Curt Schilling: No Winning Team Was Steroid-Free, Not Even My Own
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schill was aware of PED use, but he couldn't swear on it....

"Fiers De Vous Nourrir" Must Be French For "Look At This Giant Bike We Made Out Of Hay Bales"
Okay, it actually means that the farmers of 44 are "proud to feed you [and also they made a giant bike out of hay bales and tractors]." This display went up during a Tour de France stage earlier in the week, so we're a bit late — but we wanted to share it with you because it is a wonderful represe...
