a Page 7436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ladies Day At "The Queen's Favourite Racing Event" Featured Brawls, Call Girls, Face Tattoos And £98 Bottles Of Champagne
Yesterday was Gold Cup Day at the Royal Ascot, traditionally the "highlight of the summer calendar for the well-off and well-connected" in Berkshire, U.K. But according to a report in the Daily Mail, the well-off and well-connected vibe has devolved into something resembling the ass-end of a NASCAR...

Here's Video Of An Italian Goalkeeper Using Soccer Victory As An Excuse To Leave Sanity Behind
Alberto "Jimmy" Fontana and the rest of Novara football nation have waited 55 years for the opportunity to compete in Serie A, the top league in Italy. Their wait ended with a 2-0 playoff-promotion win on Sunday, and backup goalie Jimmy made the most of the moment....

Watch As The Phillie Phanatic Tries To Get A Fan To Flash The Crowd
According to MLB video from today's Phillies/Marlins game, this image comes from when the "Phanatic dances with a fan." According to tipster Zach K, "the Philly Phanatic attempts to convince this girl to flash the crowd, and when she doesn't, he forcibly shoves his snout down her throat."...

It Sure Looks Like The Children Of The Corn Are Stalking Golfer Rory McIlroy
Tipster Dan B. captured this screen grab of Rory McIlroy's post-first-round interview at the U.S. Open today. For the record, the lad's up three strokes on the guy to whom he lost a four-stroke, final-day lead at the Masters. For the prosecution, this picture should serve as adequate evidence for a...

Amorous Rioters Sex Up The Last Supper, Other Seminal Moments In Time
The image of those crazy kids losing themselves to lust amid last night's Vancouver riots is among the best moment-in-time photographs in quite a while....

The Slow, Sad Death Of A Riot's Symbol
Why do they do it? It’s hard to stand on the outside and watch people try to burn their city down. It’s even harder to understand the mentality of someone who morphs from sports fan to looter, pillager, criminal. What is in the mind of the rioter?...

"One Word ..... History :) :) :)": Vancouver Rioters Brag About Rioting On Facebook
Should we publicly shame them? Yeah. Yeah, we should....

Saggy Pants Lead To College Football Player's Arrest In City Where Basically Everything Is Legal
Deshon Marman, a 20-year-old on the University of New Mexico football team, was arrested at San Francisco Airport yesterday after he refused to pull up his pants on an airplane:...

The Mystery Of Daniel Snyder's Short Legs
Daniel Snyder subpoena target Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post reports that according to FAA data gathered by the Wall Street Journal, Snyder's Red Zone Aviation jet was used 20 times last year from 2007-2010 to fly the 50 miles from Dulles International Airport to Winchester, Virginia. Here's w...

Meanwhile, Bruins Rioting Consisted Of A Drunk Old Man In Pennsyltucky With A Shotgun
"Officers were called to the scene by neighbors and found four shotgun casings outside Karl Jalbert's home in the 1700 block of Susquehanna Street. Witnesses told police Jalbert was drinking and got excited about the outcome of the hockey game. To celebrate, he took a shotgun outside and fired it in...

David Einhorn Can Control The Mets For A Dollar, And Other Bad Omens For The Wilpons
When we last touched on the terms of the new Mets ownership deal, there was enough information to make fun of the Mets, but a key detail was missing. We knew that David Einhorn had essentially agreed to loan the Wilpons $200 million dollars in exchange for a third of the team until the loan was paid...

DeShawn Stevenson Sounded Vaguely Sober At The Mavericks Parade Today
DeShawn's first public appearance since his first public intoxication arrest on Tuesday night was perfect: he stepped to his interview with a Soulja Boy song as backdrop (his partner in the forgettable DeShawn/Soulja vs. LeBron/Hova beef), threw up a three-goggles sign, smiled dazedly out at the c...

Men Increasingly Aware Of Their Ball-Stink
More men are turning to personal grooming products to deal with a rarely-discussed problem concerning their netherregions. But don't worry: Because they're dudes — and not delicate ladies — there are products that actually call the stink what it is. [Jezebel]...

David Tyree Makes An "It Gets Worse" Video
"Two men will never be able to show a woman how to be a woman," says David Tyree, by way of explaining his decision to go on the record against gay marriage. Tyree was raised in an all-female household after his parents divorced when he was one year old, and the lack of male role models caused him...

Dick Vitale Is Not The Dick Vitale That's Been Slandering Superintendent Nelson In <em>The Conway Daily Sun</em>
A few things to clear up, America: ESPN's Dick Vitale has never been to North Conway, New Hampshire, and he harbors no resentment for the Conway School District superintendent, Carl Nelson. This contention was at long last cleared up last week, when Lorraine Vitale did a standard Google search for h...

The Chris Sheridan-Peter Vecsey Blood Feud Enters Court, Hilariously
Journalism fight! Journalism fight! Let's all throw spicy language and felt-tip pens at one another! Yesterday, ESPN's Chris Sheridan sued the New York Post's Peter Vecsey and his employer for libel in NY State Supreme Court. The bone of contention was a "scandalous diatribe" (to quote the complaint...

Minnesota Twins Disrespect Lesbian Love And God's Law
Kelsi Culpepper and Taylor Campione, a same-sex couple from Minneapolis, are filing a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights after a Target Field security guard rebuked them for kissing at a Twins-Angels game last month. City Pages reported:...

When And How The Canucks Lost The Series
Patrice Bergeron's shorthanded goal made it 3-0 Boston in the waning moments of the second. For all intents and purposes, it was an insurmountable lead and was the moment the Cup engravers could start checking their spelling. But it was also a microcosm of so many things that swung the series for ...

Help Identify Vancouver's Hardened Thugs Like This Guy (UPDATE)
After the public embarrassment comes the public shaming. Enterprising Vancouverites have set up a page where you can upload your photos of last night's troublemakers, and more importantly, identify any that you recognize. VPD will announce later today how to narc out these assholes (and we'll update...

Meet The Retiree Who Designed The Nike Swoosh For $35
"Well, I don't love it," Phil Knight said at the time, "but maybe it will grow on me." [Oregon Live]...