a Page 7443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....

Tired Of Horse Racing? Consider Cow Cycling
This comes to us from France's Critérium du Dauphiné, one of this month's warm-ups for the Tour de France. There are a lot of climbs in the course, and, well, these cows saw one that looked like fun and figured they'd join in. Could they beat the horses that ran in the Belmont? Shittier horses? Wh...

Joe Buck Is Not Announcing Phillies Game Today, But The Fans Still Hate Him
This comes via Hickey (the photographer is @roscocosmopeco), your usual weekend landlord, whose Twitter pal is rocking this shirt at today's Cubs-Phillies affair. The only problem is that Kenny Albert, not Buck, is announcing the national game for Fox....

Facing the Lockout, <em>Madden</em> and NFL Fans Seek a Common Refuge
At E3 this week, the sight I was least prepared for was that of Ray Lewis in full Baltimore Ravens uniform: eye-black, skullcap, gloves, wristbands, everything. This was an appearance for Madden NFL 12 but to him, it didn't look… [Kotaku] ...

Your Belmont Stakes Open Thread
Bye bye, horse racing season. Post is 6:35 p.m. on NBC, pre-race stuff is on Versus....

How A Regular Angels Fan Found Himself In The Owner's Private Bathroom
The Orange County Register has the cool story of how Mike Langdon, pump salesman, found himself in Arte Moreno's suite. If you guessed it involved four-time AL All-Star (ed note: really?) Mark Langston, well, you're right. But we'll get there....

Canadian Press Is Really, Really In The Tank For Canucks
This ain't a hometown columnist, folks. Although it would be frivolous even in that case. Rather, this is wire copy (from Canada's leading newswire, the Canadian Press), an ostensibly evenhanded piece about the series between Vancouver and Boston, supposedly fit for all journalistic outlets in Canad...

Colin Cowherd, Economist: Unemployed Midwesterners Have Brought It On Themselves
Awful Announcing brings us this video of Cowherd being a pompous prick in the way only he can....

New Jersey Man Threatens Lawsuit Because His Daughter Didn't Make The All-County Softball First Team
A high school softball player hits .571 (which was not, by the way, the best average on her team) with nine homers and 46 RBI, and she doesn't make the all-state team. Tough shit, homegirl, most would say. We've all had our disappointments, especially in high school. But our fathers never sued....

Ron Artest Is A Trooper When Confronted With Possums, Falcons And Snakes
Here's a clip from Thursday's Jimmy Kimmel Live, the Joy Division to Grantland's New Order, involving a prank pulled on Ron Artest. (It's okay, since Artest's 2010-11 season was a prank he pulled on Laker fans.)...

Yet Another Example Of Why You Should Not Stand Near Auto Races
This is driver Allan McNish, from today's 24 Hours of Le Mans race. Somewhat shockingly, he—and all the bystanders—were okay after the crash. The Audi R18, however, was not....

This Is Terrelle Pryor's Sweet Ride Getting Towed From A Donut Shop
If this is really Pryor's car—and it sure as hell looks that way—we have ourselves a new nadir of the Buckeye scandal. That it happened at Buckeye Donuts makes it all the more Jamarcus Russell-y. At least Russell had first-round money....

Bad Beats, Briefly: A Surefire Way To Lose Money In The Belmont Stakes
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

John McEnroe: Not All Of You Journalists Are Assholes
The classic 1980 Wimbledon Final between John McEnroe and Björn Borg has been dissected more than any match in tennis history. But the friendship that developed between the two, before and since, hasn't been as picked over, in part because Borg, who abruptly left the sport at age 26, has been genera...

The People Of Vancouver May Not Realize The Canucks Need To Win Another Game
Your morning roundup for June 11, the day we realized, to paraphrase David Foster Wallace, that J.J. Abrams, director of Super 8 must surely have been ignorant of the meaning of "suppurate." Video via @ctvbc....

Your Bruins/Canucks Game Five Open Thread
Sorry this is a little late. Series 2-2. Puck's dropping now, anyway....

The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week that was wilder than Melrose Place....

In Wrestlemania VI Rematch, Ultimate Warrior To Yell At Hulk Hogan A Lot
The Ultimate Warrior (legal name: "Warrior") is pissed at Hulk Hogan for something or other. That includes a handful of YouTube videos, recorded on his desktop camera in his den like so many American teenagers. I'm not sure exactly what he's mad about, because I'll be damned if I'm going to watch ...

Nate Robinson Is A Wee Man In More Ways Than One
Via lohud.com: "The 5-foot-9 member of the Oklahoma City Thunder, who has also played for the New York Knicks and Boston Celtics, was arrested shortly before 2 a.m. after cops said he was seen doing his business outside the Barnes & Noble store at 230 Main St." I think that means he was pissing on t...

Remarkably Terrible Woman Steals Foul Ball From Little Girl
At a recent Rangers-Cardinals game, a foul ball flew into the stands towards a grown woman and some children; after a short squabble, the woman left with the ball. A slow-mo replay shows the woman actually grabbing the ball from a young sportsfan's hands. Fuck off, lady. [Jezebel]...