a Page 7492 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Terry Francona: We Didn't Sign Carl Crawford To Hit Eighth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: no one on the Red Sox is hitting, but some are hitting less than others....

It's Baseball Night At Gelf's Varsity Letters
NYC folks: cancel your gala plans and head to Gelf Magazine's free monthly reading series at the Bergino Baseball Clubhouse at 7:30 tonight. Baseball night features our pal Jonah Keri, along with Harvey Frommer and Lang Whitaker. [Gelf]...

The Infuriating Consistency Of Dirk Nowitzki's Step-Back Jump Shot
If I were a real Lakers fan, which is a thing I've been told exists somewhere, and I had to watch the Dallas Mavericks handily beat my team at home twice in a week, then I would place an inordinate amount of rage in watching Dirk Nowitzki make shots like this one....

OK, Maybe <i>This</i> Is The Worst Golf Swing Ever
Cleon "is a legend at our course," writes a reader who begs to differ with our characterization of Charles Barkley's swing as the worst. We're not sure. Cleon's lengthy lining up of the ball and ratcheting backswing are great, but the follow-through is a little too clean....

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

Mike Greenberg Is Getting A Sitcom; Or, Why TV People Think You're An Idiot
The sitcom will revolve around a cipher of a sports talk show host, who's alternately paired with a boorish former athlete co-host and a long-suffering wife, so essentially Mike Greenberg, because Mike Greenberg has a fascinating life and a lot of TV people think you will be interested in watching a...

Here's Charles Barkley With The Worst Golf Swing Ever
It was Charles's first swing of the day, too. Nice try, Haney....

Kathie Lee And Hoda Had Their Own Boob-Grabbing Point-Counterpoint This Morning
The Today ladies have picked up on boob-grabbing. They're calling it a "new trend," and Kathie Lee doesn't like it one bit but Hoda likes it fine as long as it's "your own little secret." KL's bottom line is that the "grabee" must enjoy the "grabber's grab" for a boob grab to be okay, which I'm pr...

Deadspin Readers: Help Us Write Satirical, Non-Libelous Fiction About Dan Snyder
As Dan Snyder's dumbass lawsuit inches closer to Day 100 of its sorry existence, it has not escaped our notice that coverage of such a foul, protracted spectacle can have a wearying effect on those asked to attend to it daily. In the interest of further vesting you, dear readers, in The Snydering, w...

Spanking Young Deers: Bernard Hopkins Still The Undisputed Champion Of Trash Talk
HBO is on to a pretty great idea here. Take two fighters — one of them a curmudgeonly ex-con in a periwinkle sweater vest — have them sit backward in chairs like The Fonz, and let them go at it with only skinny suited Max Kellerman to intervene should the sparring proceed from verbal to fistic. Be...

This Horrific Leg Injury From An Australian Football Game Will Make You Hate Sports Forever
We trust that you know yourself well enough to fairly judge whether or not you want to see this gruesome clip, especially just before lunch. You might want to wait until after you've had your sub. Or maybe you don't want to watch it at all. It's up to you. What you need to decide for yourself is w...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

Ron Artest Forfeits Good Citizen Award Right Into J.J. Barea's Face
Artest was ejected with 24 seconds left for this clothesline on J.J. Barea. Barkley thinks it's suspension-worthy; we're confident it's not, if only because LA is a bigger TV market than Dallas for any conference final....

Biz Markie; And Other Things That Happen In Eight-Hour Baseball Games
There's a special kind of masochism that comes with staying up to watch a marathon baseball game, like last night's Angels/Red Sox tilt that didn't wrap up until 2:45 am. You know you're going to feel like shit in the morning, and you can only pray your team wins so it wasn't all for naught....

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Watch A Former German Soccer Player Go Off On The Al-Jazeera Guys In Broken English
Lothar "Loddar" Matthäus had major problems with his Al-Jazeera associates at a UEFA Champions League match between Bayern Munich and Inter Milan in March. Specifically, they'd assigned the translator they promised him to an Italian....

Oh Look, A Tone-Deaf Brewers Fan Wrote A Rap Song
What better time than the night of Zach Greinke's Brew Crew debut to share "Keith's Brewers Rap" with America. Here's some context: Keith rhymes Greinke with cranky. Hopefully, Zach and his pal are working on a verse to pair with, "The Braves scored their fifth run off Greinke in the bottom of the...

Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
So, the youngest MVP in NBA history, the bong-loving son of a tennis player and a bunch of other guys will try to defend their No. 1 seed by fending off the mighty Atlanta Hawks. Later, Richie Rich's underlings will try to drop a deuce on the Lakers....

Here's Mike Greenberg Dressed As Justin Bieber
Sports talk radio, of the aired-on-television variety: still going strong! We would prefer to just leave it at that, and to let you reach your own conclusions about how Mike Greenberg came to wear white jeans and a Bieber wig. Maybe it's just in his nature....