a Page 7507 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
The Pittsburgh Penguins, Washington Capitals and San Jose Sharks can all advance to the next conference semifinals with victories today. Another way to put it: Today could be the last day of the season for the Tampa Bay Lightning, New York Rangers and Los Angeles Kings....

Doctor Writes That Pinkeye Is Most Certainly Not To Blame For Tony LaRussa's Frightening Face
Here's an email which came in response to Thursday night's post about the state of St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa's mug....

Here's The Scene That Awaited The Orlando Magic's Jason Richardson After Last Night's Pimp-Slap Ejection
Your morning roundup for April 23, the day we hear about how a Tennessee woman's heart stopped beating for five minutes as a Lady Gaga tribute....

EA Sports' "Football Czar" Opens With A Two-Month Drill
In the two and a half months since he traded Canada's weather for Florida's, and titles like FIFA for Madden, Cam Weber has read that he delayed Madden's release for three weeks because of the NFL lockout; that he's adding… [Kotaku] ...

Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...

The Brief Local Nightmare Of A City Whose Mayor Is Kevin Johnson Is Over For Now
Emma, your esteemed video editor, remarked earlier today, as the Deadspin team was on its way back from the Glenn Ligon exhibition at the Whitney, that we just had seen a strange relic....

David Foster Wallace Wrote A Book About You
When David Foster Wallace's novel Infinite Jest was published in 1996, the publicity-shy author was catapulted into the literary spotlight and heralded as the heir to Thomas Pynchon. The thousand-plus page novel—whose plot is vastly sprawling and fantastic but essentially revolves around a lethally ...

Here, Listen To All 30 NHL Teams' Goal Horns
Victoria Johnson at The Awl decided to rank all 30 NHL teams' goal horns in order. The Thrashers come in first. OVERALL, WE'RE RICHER FOR THE EXPERIENCE! MORESO ONCE THIS RINGING STOPS!...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit leaves Brown because of incessant teasing....

How Not To Get Caught Cheating
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

So It's Come To This: Mets Fans Wearing Paper Bags
Things are coming to some kind of head in Flushing. Wednesday, fans begin to show up with brown paper bags over their heads, probably the most evocative visual for this team since that Post cover of sad Mr. Met. Even the media started tuning the losses out....

Rafael Nadal 0, His Underwear 1
Reporting that Rafael Nadal won a match on a clay surface is a lot like reporting that the Mets lost a game, so we needed another angle on his 6-2, 6-2 win over Gael Monfils in the Barcelona Open quarterfinals today. Luckily, the cameras on hand for the match captured that angle for us. In the inc...

No One's Going To Baseball Games, But Here's Why MLB Isn't Concerned
Baseball Prospectus's Neil DeMause noticed recently, as had we and others, that something weird is going on with baseball attendance this season....

Baseball Advertising Creeps Into Fair Territory
In American sports we pride ourselves on keeping ads off the players, unlike in soccer. But they'll put ads damn near everywhere else: The Padres now have a giant golf club for a rightfield foul pole. Remember folks, if it hits the TaylorMade driver, it's a home run — of savings! [San Diego Union-Tr...

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....

This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...

Now, Tony LaRussa Is Ugly On The Outside, Too
The 2011 St. Louis Cardinals Curse has now manifested itself as a physical deformity, albeit one of a temporary nature. Take a good hard look at manager Tony LaRussa's face. Look deep into his open eye, but avoid gazing into the one that's caulked shut with conjunctivitis. Listen as he tells you ho...
