a Page 7521 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Your Champions League Open Thread
Two games on this afternoon: Shakhtar Donetsk takes on Barcelona at Donbass Arena, and Manchester United hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium. They both start at 2:45, and with Chelsea down a goal on aggregate, they must win to advance. But Wayne Rooney, threat to already-cursing children everywher...

This Man Stole $24,000 From A Pee Wee Football League
"The Long Beach Football League is for kids ages five to 12. According to its website, the league's mission is 'to instill the fundamental values of self-discipline, teamwork, leadership, sportsmanship, and mutual respect to the youth of our community.'" And for padding the pockets of 51-year-old Ja...

An In-Depth Logistical Exploration Of Animal Rape
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering dead bodies, terrifying ear stories, and more....

Venus Serena Williams Returns To The Court In Fabulous Pink Catwoman Outfit
When one comes back from injury, one should do it in style. Maybe Venus Serena will wear the mask part of this ensemble for her French Open warmup tournament in Brussels next month. Please. Photo via Serenawilliams twitter....

The UVA Lacrosse Murder Case Continues On Its Creepy Path To A Grand Jury
The District Court in Charlottesville, Va. has ruled that the now-infamous case that charges University of Virginia men's lacrosse player George Huguely with the murder of his then-girlfriend, women's team member Yeardley Love, has enough evidence to go to a grand jury....

Jenn Sterger Speaks: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Sterger appeared on Good Morning America and talked for the first time about Brett Favre and Deadspin and gold-digging and home-wrecking. It's all in the video above. • ELSEWHERE: Jenn Sterger Was Not Flattered By Brett Favre's Dick Pics [Jezebel]...

This Celtics Lowlight Is The Most B-Team Clip Ever
See Von Wafer swoop down the lane. See Von Wafer miss on a wide-open dunk. See Von Wafer believe that he has made the dunk. See Von Wafer face the crowd in celebration. See Von Wafer turn and collide with his teammate, who has collected his offensive board. See Von Wafer make his teammate, Jermain...

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair
The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Cha...

Sterger On <em>GMA</em>: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Your morning roundup for April 12, the day we remembered how Jeff Buckley's death was a more significant event than that guy from Nirvana's to some folks but this won't help that argument....

Jenn Sterger Talks Life After Brett Favre's Penis With <em>Good Morning America</em> Tomorrow
In case you missed the massive plugs the GMA interview with the Sterg is getting, I'm here to remind you that you may want to set your DVRs tonight or postpone that P90X workout if you'd like to see it....

A Nervous Letter From A Fan Attending AT&T Park Tonight With Her Dodger-Loving Fiancee
The Giants and Dodgers plan to address the beating of Bryan Stow before tonight's game and to plead with the fans to not let passion for their teams involve kicking people until they're comatose. Still, one fan fears retaliation is imminent and emailed her concerns to us last night....

Mark Sanchez Talks About Getting Caught In An Elevator, 17-Year-Old Girl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Mark Sanchez gets stuck in an elevator. And other stuff....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is decomposing in the bog....

This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...

Man Wants Money For The "Charge" Stadium Chant That Everyone Hates
The "operative and most commonly known part of Kent's Composition goes 'da da da da da da... CHARGE!'" You know the one. Bobby Kent's complaint says the Texas Rangers are the biggest offenders — they played "Kent's Composition" 31 times during the World Series and he didn't see a dime. We also think...

Former USD Assistant Basketball Coach And Players Charged In Game-Fixing-Marijuana-Bribery Mess
In San Diego today, federal prosecutors released the details of an indictment that named 10 people — three of whom formerly coached or played for the University of San Diego men's basketball program — with connection to a college basketball bribery ring. Thaddeus Brown, an assistant coach for the To...

FreeDarko Says Goodbye
FreeDarko is taking down its shingle, which is terrible news. Go read all the tributes they've compiled on the site. There's very little I can add, except to say what I've said elsewhere: No one around described basketball — the actual, physical event — better than these guys did. I remember in part...

Charlie Davies Attempts To Save His Failed Goal Celebration By Doing "The Bernie"
Since he returned to professional soccer in late March, Charlie Davies appears to be having a great time. The 24-year-old has scored four goals in three games for D.C. United, which has him on loan from the French club FC Sochaux; the latest tally was this late-game penalty kick against the Galaxy...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...

Only Insects Can Stop NASCAR's Chosen One, Trevor Bayne
Divine superpowers failed Trevor Bayne this weekend when he was unable to ward off a personal plague in the form of a bug bite on his elbow that hospitalized the Daytona Cup winner. Bayne had been unstoppable since Daytona, registering an outstanding 40th in the Subway Fresh Fit 500 and a blazing-ho...