a Page 7532 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....

Here's Video Of A Lady Using Rail-Dance Spasms To Seduce A Goal From A Minor-League Hockey Game
In this video, a lady treats an ice-rink handrail like it's a pole on a stage. This seems to lead to an "awesome" Grand Rapids Griffins goal or something along those lines. The security guards apparently found this offensive. Bad form....

The Washington Nationals's Big Off-Season Signing Is Batting .250 And Possibly Sitting To Go Number 1
Jayson Werth, the Washington Nationals's $126 million right-field prize, went 1-for-4 with one strikeout in his Beltway debut, a 2-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves....

Former Penn State Coach Who Titled His Autobiography "Touched" Stands Accused Of Improperly Doing So
A grand jury is investigating allegations that "Penn State football legend" Jerry Sandusky indecently assaulted a 15-year-old boy over the course of a four-year period. Both Joe Paterno and Penn State Athletic Director Tim Curley were called to appear, according to the Patriot-News newspaper in cen...

Your First Night Game Of The Season Open Thread
Opening Day for 12 of 29* Major League Baseball franchises comes to a close with a Giants/Dodgers game. One team is the defending World Series Champion; the other fills some seats with gang-bangers. Facts....

Now A Grouchy Old Lesbian, Pete Rose Returned From Arsenio Hall's Rummage Sale In Time For Opening Day
Bud Selig, you've officially broken this man's spirit. Please remedy this situation and put Peter Edward Rose in the Hall of Fame before his sanity dissipates any further....

Dwyane Wade Hopes The Heat Will Improve Upon Its "I Hope It Goes In" Last-Second Shot Strategy
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Wade looks forward a set play on a last-second shot....

We Are All Dave McKenna LVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is found face-down in a puddle....

Fourth Official Holds Up A Massive Electrical Condom
Looking very much like Leslie Nielsen did in that Naked Gun scene when he thrusts a giant Johnny over his head to do the nasty with Elvis's ex, here's a Thai official holding up his Durex-sponsored extra-time board....

Chad Pennington Bucks Tradition And Injures His Leg Instead Of His Arm
Two-time Comeback Player of the Year and current free agent Chad Pennington went and did something wholly original this week: he injured his leg instead of injuring his arm. To be exact, Pennington tore his ACL while playing in a pickup basketball game. Add this to his 2003 fractured hand, his 2005 ...

The Geekiest Way to Perfect Your Football Spiral
Yes, believe it or not, adding a bunch of sensors and a smartphone to the equation might be what stands between you and a blitz-worthy throw. The prototype Nerf football seen above has special guts—a six-axis sensor, implanted after the… [Gizmodo] ...

Watch "Special Greg" Flip Over His Bike 30 Feet In The Air And Not Die
It is news to us that there was once an MTV series called Nitro Circus, which involved x-treme athlete Travis Pastrana and his friends nearly killing themselves in the name of x-tremity. But it turns out there was, and that some of them still do near-death things in the name of non-nationally-broa...

Old Hoss Flipping The Bird, And More: An Opening Day Retrospective
Peter Nash, resident baseball historian and former 3rd Bass prime minister, has pulled together some Opening Day memorabilia porn for your viewing pleasure. Like this 1886 Opening Day photo from Boston featuring Old Hoss Radbourn (top left) expressing joy about having his picture taken. Dive in....

This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...

Cats vs. Dogs: Ladies And Gents, Meet Your Elite Eight
Our game began with 32 brave players, but after a fierce, fur-flying frenzy, we have only eight strong competitors left. Yes, friends: Just four cats and four dogs remain, and we are one step closer to declaring a victor! Who will it be? Team Bow-wow or Team Meow? [Jezebel]...

Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...

PETA Protests The Michael Vick Madden Cover That Doesn't Exist Yet
When ESPN and EA Sports announced that they would team up to let fans select the Madden 2012 cover boy, we predicted that the angry loud people would quickly sound off about the selections. The pool is now down to 16 selections, and the shit-stirring has begun: in a totally unoriginal outcome, the ...

Your Opening Day Open Thread
It seems like just yesterday that Tim Lincecum and the Giants were donning their dong-hats as world champions, but baseball is here again, and we're so happy about it. In the early-afternoon block, we've got Tigers-Yankees, Braves-Nationals, and Brewers-Reds. Express your giddiness, joy, and/or curs...

Timing The Trots For Six Famous Home Runs; Or, Bo Jackson Will Blow Your Mind
As a Brewers fan, it's pretty common to hear from others around the NL Central that no one is worse at watching and admiring his home runs than Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun. And while I can understand where these Cards and Cubs fans are coming from, I don't completely agree. After all, I get to see...

Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...