a Page 7559 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Man Named Dokken Assaults Gopher Mascot Named Goldy
Before the rush to judgment commences, can we all agree that there is zero need for a buck-toothed mascot to obstruct the view of a 60-year-old guy who just wants to spend his Saturday enjoying some men's gymnastics? Cool....

Todd Bairstow Was Living The Fishing-Trip Dream Until He Got Death Rolled
If your worst nightmare involves a fishing trip in which you lose a finger to a gator that gets you in a death roll after latching onto leg for 40-some minutes, catch up with 28-year-old Australian mine worker Todd Bairstow sometime. He can tell you how it really feels....

This Is The Mug Shot Of A Man Who Interrupted His Haircut To Stab Someone With Scissors
It's not the half-headed man's mugshot, but it's similar. David Davis of New Haven, Conn., was arrested and charged with slashing another man who entered the barbershop while Davis was getting his haircut. The result: the Halfro....

Jim Tressel's Profound Pauses Not As Profound As He Intends Them To Be: A Video Compilation
Jim Tressel, the recently/somewhat disgraced football coach at Ohio State, spoke to the press last night. Mostly, though, instead of saying actual words, he gazed out into the crowd during pregnant pauses in his speech. And Shatner he is not....

Does Rubbish Refereeing Ruin Soccer? Debating The Dumbest Red Card Ever
The Spoiler is never one to jump on a bandwagon, in fact, we still love Nick Clegg, we don't think the Kings of Leon have, like, totally sold out and some of our best friends are bankers....

Great Moments In Sportscast Train Wrecks
Earlier, we brought your attention to an America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station, which made up in dead air and frantic hand gestures what it lacked in memorably bad catchphrases. Let's have a look at some of the great televised disasters of our day....

We Are All Dave McKenna XXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit slinks off to die in quiet shame. Of note today is another wretched attempt at litigious strong-arming by the wretched bully Snyder — this one invo...

Watch Rutgers Get Absolutely Screwed By The Refs (Updated)
In the Big East tournament, Rutgers was just victimized by a historically bad no-call (that immediately followed up two fairly egregious no-calls against them). Trying to run the clock out, the St. John's player traveled, stepped out of the bounds, and chucked the ball into the seats with nearly t...

Boom Goes The Student Sportscast: America East Report Is Uncomfortable, Hilarious
There is a lot going on in this America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station — so much, even, that tipster Christopher declares it "the next boom goes the dynamite." There's no instant catchphrase in this 30-minute segment (we've cut it down to the real h...

Max Pacioretty Was Seriously Injured In Last Night's Zdeno Chara Hit
Pacioretty suffered a severe concussion and a fractured vertebrae in last night's hard collision with Boston's Zdeno Chara. Montreal's left wing remains in the hospital and is out indefinitely. Chara will not be punished beyond the game misconduct. [ESPN]...

We've Been Spelling Kendry Morales's Name Wrong For Years
It's Kendrys, you see, but that last S was left off his Angels contract in 2004, and he just never bothered to tell anyone. To be honest, we will probably continue to get this wrong for years to come. [LA Times, via HBT]...

A Million Dollars and No Change for a Perfectly Humble Gamer
You can do a lot of crazy stuff when you win a million bucks. When he did, Wade McGilberry was approached by a long-lost relative with a pitch for buying into a pineapple farm. No thanks, Wade said. What he really wanted was a Harley. And with the dough he won from MLB 2K10, you're damn right he bou...

Olympian Matt "The Law" Lindland Will Steal Your Weed (Allegedly)
Was it a bad idea for Olympic silver medalist and UFC and Strikeforce veteran Matt Lindland let a dude named Gonzalo Aldana Gamboa grow weed on his Oregon property under the Oregon Medical Marijuana Program? Yeah. Probably not as bad an idea as running for local office as a Republican moralist nickn...

NFL Dream Job: The Miami Dolphins Are Hiring An Experienced Cotton Candy Maker
Last month, the MLB announced it was accepting applications for what was billed as a "dream job," or, watching somewhere in the range of 2,400 baseball games and writing about it. It sounded... fun. But the NFL may trump it with this opening, for an "experienced" cotton candy maker at the Dolphins' ...

Phoenix Coyotes Honor Hero With Outback Steakhouse Gift Certificate
To honor a veteran who served in Afghanistan, the Coyotes gifted him a $25 gift certificate to Outback. That, colonel, is what you've been fighting for....

Scary: Braves Coach Airlifted To Hospital After Being Struck By Foul Ball
Former major league and current Braves single-A manager Luis Salazar was standing at the rail of the dugout when he was hit by a foul ball off the bat of Brian McCann in the first inning of today's game.. Salazar was given oxygen, taken off the field on a stretcher, and airlifted to Orlando Regional...

TMZ Sports Is Dead, Long Live TMZ Sports
Writes the New York Post's Keith Kelly, "TMZ founder Harvey Levin has been having trouble trying to branch out beyond its comfort zone. He had plans to launch TMZDC covering Washington DC and had also started hiring sports writers and editors with the plan of doing TMZ sports. Both plans fizzled."...

Stanford Scholar-Athletes A Little Less Scholarly This Morning
Stanford is often lauded for graduating their players, and rightly so. But their record is a little less impressive after today's story in the Stanford Daily, which reveals that a semi-secret list of "easy classes" has been distributed to student-athletes for at least a decade. And there are some go...

Belgian Goalie Forgets How To Throw At The Worst Possible Time, Assists Opponent's Goal
Sammy Bossut, goalkeeper for Zulte-Waregem in the Belgian Pro League, pulled down a corner kick in a match against Lokeren over the weekend and, channeling a certain Giants quarterback, held onto the ball a little too long in his attempt to throw it down-field. Zulte-Waregem lost 2-1....

NFL Owners Want More Money — From Each Other
In the past weeks and months, we've heard from numerous players about the pending lockout. They've all been on message, like good union members ought to be. But we've heard very little from the owners, who have been content to let the Commissioner and the lawyers give the public statements. This mig...