a Page 7589 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Robot Seal Defeats Tubby Smith In Free Throw Battle
This week, we were tipped off to two free throw highlight videos, which are never really highlight videos at all. One was of human coach Tubby Smith, and the other was of a fuzzy robot seal from Taiwan. The natural response was to set the two against each other, with their original soundtracks inc...
Bart Scott Now Owns The Rights To The Phrase "Can't Wait!"
Sal Paolantonio interviewed Bart Scott back in January, after the Jets defeated the Patriots, 28-21 in the AFC semifinals. As the ESPN YouTube video would have us believe, Scott "literally [flew] over" to Paolantonio, talked about nosebleeds and believing for a bit, and ended his shining moment wi...
Jerramy Stevens Attacks Bouncers At Retired Surfers Bar
You know what, Jerramy Stevens? Everyone is getting a little sick of this. You stomp on people. You do horrible things to women. And now you get in a fight at a RETIRED surfers bar and break a bouncer's jaw when he and his helper bouncer ask you to leave because you're getting unruly at 8 p.m. on a ...
We Are All Dave McKenna XXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is defeated by Charlie Sheen's warlock powers. Our newest entry is from Rolling Stone's human flamethrower, Matt Taibbi, who's been running a humo...
How On Earth Did Jim McMahon Survive BYU's Honor Code?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: McMahon remembers the administration's hypocrisy....
Bawlers: A Brief History Of Crying In Sports
Chris Bosh got a bit emotional after last night's brutal loss to the Magic, wiping away tears during his press conference. The internet's torn about this one, because we like to see that our athletes actually give a damn about winning and losing. On the other hand: a team with the second best reco...
Cockblocked By Hot Tub Cripples!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
NFL And Players Association Agree To Seven-Day Deadline Extension
Before the initial 24-hour extension was up, the NFL and the NFLPA mutually agreed on a seven-day deadline extension. The negotiations will now end next Friday, March 11 at 5 p.m. President Barack Obama remains totally over it. [EPSN]...
Short White Guy Makes His Case For The NCAA Dunk Contest
Jacob Tucker, a senior guard for the (DIII) Illinois College Blueboys, is 5'11" and can jump really high. He's put together a highlight reel and Facebook group arguing he's worthy of inclusion in next month's college slam dunk contest. That's moxie, kid....
Kicking A Fan In The Face Is Eric Cantona's Most Treasured Memory
Cantona, on his famous flying kick of an abusive fan: "I think that maybe it's like a dream for some people sometimes, to kick these kinds of people. So I did it for them. So they are happy." [The First Post]...
American Diplomat Calls Ahmadinejad The "George Steinbrenner Of Iran"
In a State Department document released by Wikileaks, an American diplomat is credited with referring to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as the "George Steinbrenner of Iran." The official was referring, of course, to Ahmadinejad's dealings with the country's national soccer team, and his attempt "to use the pop...
The Messy History Of Charlie Sheen's "Winning" Ring
As part of his relentless media odyssey this week, Charlie Sheen introduced himself to Twitter with a message that had a Chappelle-esque, "Kiss the rings, bitches" quality to it. It was an image of Sheen's shimmering 1927 World Series ring that was once worn by another winner with an equally insatia...
Six Degrees Of NBA Separation; Or, Why Buddha Is The Center Of The Basketball Universe
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard Sports Analysis Collective. Today: Connecting Blake Griffin and Charlie Parsley in eight easy steps....
Oregon Paid For Recruiting Services, But That's Probably Okay
There have been rumors over the past few weeks that the NCAA was investigating a top program for possible recruiting violations. Then it comes out that Oregon's been cutting checks to recruiters/trainers/scouts/mentors of prospects who eventually committed to the Ducks. That sounds bad. It isn't....
The Hardest Hit In Last Night's Maple Leafs-Flyers Game Was In Warm-Ups
Dion Phaneuf and Mike Komisarek were dutifully going through their warm-ups before last night's game in Philadelhpia when they collided. Hard. Neither player was injured, and the Leafs went on to win, 3-2, which I guess is why the announcers are so comfortable giggling about it on-air....
High School Player Hits Winning Shot To Clinch Perfect Season, Then Dies
This is hard to comprehend as real but several real media outlets are reporting it as true: Wes Leonard, a 16-year-old player on the Fennville High School basketball team in western Michigan, died after scoring the winning layup in Fennville's victory over Bridgman on Thursday to end his team's perf...
Watch LeBron Throw The Ball Right In Chris Bosh's Face, Blow A 24-Point Lead
Your morning roundup for March 4, the day Northwestern students remain engaged in the idea of human sexuality....
You wish your mechanics were this hot
Bill Caswell's exploits as the $500 Craigslist rally driver became one of the year's biggest stories. Bill's still got the E30, but he's now upgraded his shop crew with a new femme-bot-styled threesome. [Jalopnik]...
Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...
The Second Longest Hockey Game Ever Ended Early This Morning
The longest game in collegiate-hockey history (and second longest overall) ended this morning; it was the Queen's (University) Golden Gaels vs. the University of Guelph Gryphons, game one of the Ontario University Athletics three-game women's hockey finals....