a Page 7607 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Padres OF Complains About Panda Express; Too Bad Team Owner Runs The Chain
On Tuesday, Cameron Maybin, the speedy outfielder traded from the Marlins to the Padres this offseason, tweeted this (@CamMaybin; it's since been scrubbed):...

Welcome To Albertgeddon
We're but minutes away from Albert Pujols's self-imposed deadline for signing a contract extension. This means that if the Cardinals don't come back with a whopper of a last-minute offer, it's all but inevitable that he'll sign with the Cubs in the offseason for eight years, $250 million, shatter hi...

Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring
Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again....

Here's A Pretty Good Picture Of Super Bowl MVP Aaron Rodgers In Vegas
Tipster Adrian S. was kind enough to share this photo of what appears to be Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers at Moon nightclub at the Palms in Las Vegas on Saturday....

Manny Pacquiao Went To Washington Today. Here Are The Pictures.
As part of the Showtime promotional tour for Manny Pacquiao's upcoming fight with Shane Mosley, the former went to visit U.S. Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada. Showtime credited "Chris Farina - Top Rank (no other credit allowed), copyright 2011" for these images. Remember that when you kneel before King M...

Topless Italian Soccer Player Headbutts Fully Dressed British Coach
Tottenham Hotspur traveled to Italy to face AC Milan in the UEFA equivalent of the Sweet Sixteen today. It was a chippy game which Tottenham won after Aaron Lennon broke away and assisted Peter Crouch on the game's lone goal with about 10 minutes left....

O.J. Simpson Didn't Really Get Beaten Silly By A White Supremacist After All
The purported word coming from Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center today had all the makings of a Rockwellian portrait painted by the would've-been U.S. Rep. Rich Iott of Ohio. Accused murderer and convicted armed-robber Orenthal James Simpson got beaten so badly by a young skinhead in the prison...

Tonight's The Night HBO <em>Real Sports</em> Explores Deadspin's Septic Tank
So the news was broken a couple weeks ago but for those of you interested in what Bryant Gumbel's discerning pencil feels about our shady operation, tune into HBO (home of Treme) tonight at 10 p.m. EST, especially if you always wanted to hear Andrea Kremer say the word "penis" ad nauseum....

We Are All Dave McKenna XII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit disappears. For today's topic, Snyder's "amusing failure at Six Flags," we return to a May 2010 Slate article by Dave McKenna:...

The Rock Returns To Wrestling To Call John Cena A Tool
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson returned to WWE Raw last night for the first time in seven years. Why, you ask? To announce that he was hosting Wrestlemania 27 this April. Oh, and to talk shit about John Cena....

Calling Off The Dogs: Day 2 At Westminster
For the fifth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day two....

A Conversation With The Two Lucky Bastards Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards
Yesterday, we published the somewhat implausible tale about the two guys who accidentally got trapped in Camden Yards after a rainout and who turned the empty ballpark into their own personal playground and brew pub. They've come forward with more details....

Rick Telander: If We Don't Stop Getting Concussed, The Robots Will Win (Or Something Like That)
We do not know what is going on in Rick Telander's head, but he wrote a column about brains and computers yesterday that is so full of raving, delusional paranoia about some impending tyranny that he might as well be on mushrooms or in the Tea Party....

How Ferrari spins
The ecstasy of driving a new Ferrari is almost always eradicated by the pain of dealing with Ferrari. It's out of control; to the point it will soon be pointless believing anything you read about its cars. [Jalopnik]...

Major Sorority Girl Brawl Is Totally About Sisterhood
Wrote the Barstool tipster of this Michigan dustup, "This is Alpha Phi vs. Tri-Delt in a fight. Arguably the two hottest sororities on campus. It all started at Psi Upsilon's annual broomball tournament called Winterfest." The random heckler who runs onto the ice is the best part. [Jezebel]...

An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....

The Top 25 Buzzer-Beaters Of The NBA Season
In anticipation of All-Star weekend, SLAM Online has compiled the 25 best buzzer-beaters of the season. The rules: "zero time can remain on the clock after the shot. Any end-of-quarter shot qualifies, but, naturally, bonus points were given to those shots that won games, forced overtime, and so fo...

We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....

Insurance Company Behaves Like Insurance Company, Voids Incredible Charity Hockey Shot
Richard Marsh was randomly selected from the crowd at an Indiana Ice home game last Saturday. His challenge: to hit a hockey puck, which is about three inches wide, the length of the rink and into a target slightly larger than three inches wide. AllState Insurance, the promotion's sponsors, pledge...

How To Get Arrested And Banned From Soccer: Pretend You're An Airplane!
Not just any airplane, mind you, but the one from the Munich air disaster which killed eight Manchester United players in 1958. So when a fan of Crawley Town was spotted making airplane gestures in a team-sponsored music video ahead of Crawley's FA Cup match against Man U, it caused some fuss....