a Page 7670 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Punch-Out With Your Cock Out
A German (of course) AIDS awareness organization has released COCK OUT, in which players slip on a motion-sensing digital condom and use their thrusts to pummel a virtual HIV....
Dan Gilbert Is Going To Boil Someone's Bunny
Per Adrian Wojnarowski, recording secretary of the LeBron Jersey-Burning and Chowder Society: The Cavs "have poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into a high-powered Midwestern law firm" to investigate whether the Heat broke tampering rules while pursuing LeBron James. [Yahoo!]...
Brian Westbrook Has Already Had A More Successful 2010 Than Donovan McNabb
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: your new 49ers starting RB....
The Official Cavs Fan Guide To Taunting LeBron
Yeah, we know, these things rarely work. But we wouldn't endorse these suggested Cavs fans chants for tomorrow's game if they weren't clever and/or funny. Show some heart, Cleveland. [Cavs Chants]...
Victorious MMA Fighter Repeatedly Pukes His Guts Out
Come for the initial spew. Stay for the second round that nearly soaks the poor bastard cleaning up the first puddle. [POSSIBLY NSFW: THIS VIDEO IS GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE]...
Oakland Willing To Discard Moneyball For "Slugging First Basemen" Philosophy
Oakland really really wants Lance Berkman. But they'd settle for Adam Dunn. For god's sake, please protect your eyebrows; this is HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....
World Cup 2018 Bid — Let The Schmoozing Commence!
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...
Explaining The Cam Newton Ruling, As Best We Can
We don't know a heck of a lot right now, since the NCAA and Auburn aren't talking. But we can parse the NCAA's statement and try to break down what happened, and what happens next....
Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...
Cam Newton Ruled Eligible By NCAA
The NCAA has reinstated Newton, after he was secretly declared ineligible yesterday (for procedural purposes after an amateurism violation was determined to have occurred). [NCAA, Birmingham News]...
A Former NFLer On "Laughing" Derek Anderson And The Football Robot Blowhards
On Monday, Derek Anderson was scolded for smiling on camera during the Cardinals' loss to the 49ers, leading to his "Nothing is funny to me" tirade. Ex-NFL player Nate Jackson defends his former colleague from Jon Gruden and all the rest of the "emotionally stunted football pedants."...
Gary Lineker Pooped Himself During A World Cup Match
Hi, welcome to Deadspin. We like poop here. Yet shockingly, we've never posted an actual video of someone soiling themselves. Until now....
SHOTY Semifinals: No. 1 Brett Favre Vs. No. 4 Jay Mariotti
We've reached the SHOTY Semifinals. Brett Favre left Ines Sainz in arrears, and Jay Mariotti oozed Jason Whitlock's pumpkin. Now, for the nitty-gritty....
Need More Proof The BCS Is Fucked Up? Nevada Cost Themselves $1 Million By Beating Boise St.
By thwarting the Broncos' BCS bowl hopes, the Wolf Pack cost themselves and every WAC team a million dollars each in BCS revenue. We're not ones to encourage immoral and illegal actions, but, yeah, they probably should have just tanked. [Business Insider]...
Last Night's Winner: A WWF-Themed Wedding, Featuring Howard Finkel
Watch this, and you might actually want to get married. Don't show it to your lady, though, or she might not want to marry you....
Telestrator Dong And Balls Run The Triangle Offense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Joakim Noah Went Into A Steam Room With John Elway And Lived To Tell The Tale
During the Bulls annual "Circus Trip," two important events took place that may chart the course for the rest of the team's season: they shared Thanksgiving dinner together as a team, and Joakim Noah shared a hotel steam room with John Elway....
Bruce Pearl Gets In Amusing Zinger On "Dumbass" Lane Kiffin
Pearl, on his suspendable offenses: "I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook. I miss Lane Kiffin." [Knoxville News Sentinel]...
Man Arrested For Kicking Police Horse Outside Texans Game
A Houston man was arrested Sunday for kicking a police horse outside of Reliant Park, thereby making Andre Johnson's beatdown of Cortland Finnegan the second most lopsided physical altercation in Texas that day....