a Page 7676 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Someone Alleges The Patriots Are Dirty Players; Sun Rises In The East
Lions QB Shaun Hill says that some New England player tried to re-break his previous broken arm during a scrum. As long as it wasn't helmet to helmet, we'll allow it. [MLive]...

Bleacher Report Is Hiring!
Bleacher Report is looking for an experienced copy chief to manage their staff of 30 copy editors....

All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....

What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....

Derek Jeter Is Better Than Anyone Else At Overrating Derek Jeter
Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year." [NYDN]...

Depressed Pilgrims Encapsulate The Lions Thanksgiving Tradition
That's seven straight losses for Detroit on Turkey Day, and don't expect them to lose the Thursday slot any time soon. At the very least, maybe the league could schedule them for a high school homecoming game. [Where's Weems]...

Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....

The First NBA Mugshot Of The Holiday Season Has Arrived
Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi and his girlfriend were both charged with domestic assault early yesterday morning. Police arrested both because they had two conflicting stories. Very conflicting....

The White Trashiest Family Ever Hopes You Had A Good Thanksgiving
Is that not the greatest photo ever? Insane Clown Posse tattoo? Check. Pro wrestling t-shirt? Check. Weed t-shirt? Check. Pregnant belly busting out over unbuttoned pants? Damn right, check. Do I even need to tell you this photo was taken at a Mötley Crüe concert?...

Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....

The Awkward Team Photos Of Our Awkward Youth (And One Dog): A Gallery
We asked for photos of America's uncomfortably posed youth athletes, and you delivered. Please enjoy....

Your Annual "I'm Watching This Because I Have Calvin Johnson On My Fantasy Team" Open Thread
This could be one of those 50-10 Thanksgiving blowouts the Lions have semi-traditionally served-up for turkey-banging America, but in this kooky NFL season, Shaun Hill could have the game of his life. Yell about all the pre-feast drama, right here....

Happy Thanksgiving, You Turkey-Banging Assholes!
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....

Gregg Easterbrook Is Such A Putz
"Why do small-school and low-drafted NFL receivers excel where glory boys falter?" asks Gregg Easterbrook, who as far as I'm concerned is Colin Cowherd with a thesaurus and whose answer to his own question is as inevitable as it is dumb....

Mike Leach Sues ESPN
The former Texas Tech coach has filed suit against ESPN and the PR firm repping Craig James alleging both libel and slander. Leach was fired after allegations he mistreated James's son Adam. Someone unfreeze the ombudsman! [AP]...

This Is How The MLS Champion Colorado Rapids Drunkenly Celebrate Victory
By bar-hopping in costumes. And they let a writer from the Denver MetroMix tag along for the celebration. Well, some of it. Then he was summarily kicked off the party bus. I'm shocked Patrick Kane didn't crash the festivities. [MetroMix]...