a Page 7772 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soon You Can Spit On Chris Berman Anytime You Want
Chris Berman will receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, placing him alongside such luminaries as Zsa Zsa Gabor, Don Johnson, Terry Bradshaw and Mickey Mouse. If only there were an appropriate Eagles lyric for this occasion. [Image]...

Knicks To Woo LeBron James With C-List Celebrities
Chicago may be willing to hire the ultimate franchise-killer in order to lure LeBron James to their clutches, but they can't compete with the raw star power of New York's sort-of-recognizable personalities pleading on their behalf....

Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...

Wolpfack Typo Makes For Efic Pail
NC State issued their baseball media guide last week — then quickly took it down. Study it long enough, and you'll see why. Dyslexics of Raleigh...untie! [StateFansNation]...

Thierry Henry Is Coming To The MLS, Probably
The French striker is reportedly maybe coming to the MLS's misnomer-laden New York Red Bulls, just as soon as France is knocked out of the World Cup. Or he isn't. Or he is, but we shouldn't talk about it yet....

Softball Conference Champs Just Want To Dance It Out (WINNER'S UPDATE)
Fresh off winning an Atlantic Sun conference championship, the Lipscomb Lady Bisons debuted a coordinated dance routine. Unfortunately, it brought them neither the replenishing rains that would ensure a bountiful harvest nor a Women's College World Series title....

Columnist Who Likened Flyers To Nazis Is Surprised When Philly Fans Slash His Tires
Since the smart money has the Stanley Cup going West, at least the Habs and Flyers can battle it out for the title of North America's most property destructin-est fanbase. Round one goes to Philly....

Paraguayan Soccer Player Rockets In 45-Yard Free Kick
For anyone not satiated by the Lionel Messi goalapalooza from earlier, here is another goal video from a funnily named player in a sports league in a country with which you're vaguely familiar. Somebody buy that man a Baviera. [Goal.com]...

Sharks GM Has Competitively Attractive Daughter
San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson's daughter, the absurdly named Lacey, competed in last night's Miss USA competition. So that's why the Sharks were so on edge during Game 1 and couldn't solve the Rubik's Cube that is Chicago goalie Antti Niemi....

Tame Your Undergrowth
Have people commented on your lovely mohair sweater when you are in fact shirtless? Have ladies gotten their wristwatches, rings, or Lee Press-On Nails stuck in your chest forest? Tell us why you need a Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro, and you could win one....

Messi Scores 47 Goals…And Here’s ALL Of Them!
And so Lionel Messi equaled a scoring record — held also by hamster-faced Ronaldo — by helping himself to another couple in yesterday's match. The internet beavers have since been working away, and above is some proof of their toil....

Preakness Infield Exposé: I See The Blush Upon Thy Ass Cheeks, Maryland!
On Saturday, photographer Andrew Snow and writer Alan Siegel ventured among the bottoms and bottomless mugs of beer in the Preakness infield. Their report and a gallery, after the jump....

Meet Tyler Lewis: The No-Look-Passing, Ankle-Breaking Teenager
Here's video of a high school sophomore who, since he's white, will be compared endlessly to Steve Nash. While not Nash-level yet, he has a lot going for him: great floor-vision, superior play-making skills, and not being Guerdwich Montimere. [Hoops Doctors, ONEentertainmentHOOPS.com]...

A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2010
It's graduation time across the country. I've done this post the past two years running, and I don't see new college grads getting any less annoying. So we'd best do it again....

Mooning Spectator Causes Rally Car Crash
Unpredictable terrain. Wild weather. Nothing can break the singular focus of the rally car driver. Except, evidently, one random fellow at the side of the road with his pants around his ankles....

Reliving High School Days More Rape-y Than Hollywood Makes It Seem
Remember Guerdwich Montimere, the 22-year-old man who posed as a 16-year-old to have another go-round at playing high school hoops? Turns out he slept with a 15-year-old girl while living the lie. Guess he was really committed to the part. [AP]...

Weekend Winner: The LeBron Combo
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like John Calipari, who is allegedly being shopped around as part of a package deal with James....

Michael Jordan Likes A Little More Lebensraum In His Hanes
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN Switches To "Future Hall of Famers"-Based Scoring System
There you have it. And please don't turn the comments into a RoFlaWa.*...

Peeping Tom Peeps In On MMA Fighter, Doesn't Peep So Good No More
A pervert snuck onto a couple's patio and tried to videotape them. The male half of that couple, a part-time MMA fighter, took exception, which he expressed via fists. As you probably guessed, that's the pervert, in his "after" pose....