a Page 7788 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Old Spice Pec Man Punches Out Nerdlinger
In a dingy locker room while wildly manipulating his pectorals. Soak your brain in the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER that is this Tim & Eric-directed Old Spice spot. Isn't Comedy Week a reach-around punch in the face?...
What Does This (Possibly Fake) Call Sheet Tell Us About The <em>Lost</em> Series Finale?
This call sheet popped in our inbox from a reader vacationing in Hawaii, who found it on the floor of Nobu restaurant last night. Nobody at Deadspin watches the show. So we summoned Gawker's Lost expert to explain. Go crazy, internet....
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Because Prime Time Is Where The Motherfucking Draft Belongs. Your 2010 NFL Draft Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
NCAA Tournament Adds Networks, Expands To "Only" 68 Teams
In a surprising move, the NCAA signed a new television deal that will add more networks to CBS's coverage of the men's basketball tournament, but will not expand the field to 96 teams. Wait, did they actually listen to us?...
Australian Rugby Team Nearly Destroyed Over Salary Cap Violations
One of Australia's top rugby teams was caught secretly exceeding the league salary cap by $1.7 million over five years. The penalty? They have to return two championships, forfeit every game this season and the cops have been called. Yikes....
Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....
Last Night's Winner: The Almighty Dollar
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Daniel Goldstein, the last man standing between the Nets and their shiny Brooklyn arena, who just got $3 million to sit down. That stinks....
Everyone Can Get Behind These Sedin Twins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Microsoft Is Pretty Much Running Seattle Sports
It's not just the WNBA team that's a walking advertisement for Microsoft. The Sounders, Seahawks, and even Pete Carroll's draft strategy are all being brought to you by Bill Gates' brainchild....
Don Nelson, Very Hands On When Bathing His Dog
Dirk Nowitzki says he once walked in on Nellie and his dog Lucky in the hot tub. If he had decided to join them, it would have looked like every German porno ever. [Sports Radio Interviews]...
Atlanta Cop Takes A Swing At Braves Fan
Some drunk fans decided to mess with a Fulton County cop's motorcycle outside Turner Field after Saturday's game. He responded with a fist and a Taser threat, and they responded with drunk sincerity. The deputy is under investigation....
When You're Not Gay Enough For Gay Softball
Three bisexual men are suing the organizers of the Gay World Series for excluding them, because they occasionally like to have sex with women....
Drunk Coachella Guy Is Here To Save The Day
So, today. Well, good intentions, yadda yadda. It ended up being funny in an absurd sense, right? Well, here's a drunk guy at Coachella last weekend who can't quite figure out sandals or the concept of balance. This is not a metaphor....
Farewell, Peggy Noonan
The Deadspin part-time author is moving on with life/work. We wish her the best of luck. [Gawker]...
Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...
Spud Webb Asks For A Boost
Attention, Illustrator junkies. Spud Webb needs someone, anyone to design the logo for his new website. The wage may be low, but the glory will last as long as he can afford to hold onto the domain name. [Mycroburst]...
In Case You Missed The Horrible Live Chat With Sarah Silverman, Here's A Rundown
From dealing with her handlers or her publicist or assistant or handbag holder or whatever other title given to the people hired to manage Sarah Silverman's Literary Life, this live chat, dear loathsome readers, sucked....
Kid Leaps Over Catcher, Compels You To Watch A College Baseball Highlight Just This Once
This is Brian Kownacki of Fordham (Royals of the A-10) leaping over the catcher for Iona (Royals of the MAAC), capping an eight-run comeback and performing a feat last accomplished by Wesley Snipes, when he jumped over an IRS agent. [YouTube, via]...