a Page 7798 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

This Sandwich Is Coming To Tempt, Kill You All
KFC's Double Down sandwich has become the stuff of gross-fast-food legend. Now, it is going nationwide. Soon (next week), you too will have the chance to use fried chicken in its best application: as bread. [The Consumerist]...

How Did Jeff Samardzija Spend His Daytona Nights?
Jeff Samardzija's Major League Baseball career has been less than stellar (2010 ERA: 108.00!), but if sponsored internet smack is to be believed, his minor league career (specifically, the "off the field late night activities" part) was quite interesting indeed....

Tiger's New Lady, Raychel Coudriet, In Photos. Maybe.
According to this website, these may be photos of Tiger's latest young lassie to come forward. Also, The Post has fun texts from Tiger to her: "Are you touching yourself? I want to fuck you."...

Tiger Woods Also Made Sweet, Sweet Love To His Winsome 21-Year-Old Neighbor, National Enquirer Says
I assume this wasn't the news Tiger received via SMS yesterday. And now there's a race to see who can find a Facebook photo of young Raychel Coudriet the fastest. We'll update when that happens.[Radaronline]...

Pantless Man-Bird To Lead William and Mary Into Battle
The nation's second-oldest institution of higher learning is named after a hybrid king and queen, so it's only fitting that their new mascot is a hybrid of .. something. Part bird, part lion, all WTF?...

Tiki Barber Pulls A Tom Brady On His Pregnant Wife
Famous people don't just get divorced. They have scandals. Like Tiki Barber who is leaving his wife—who is eight months pregnant (with twins)—for a blonde intern half her age. Now that's a breakup....

Last Night's Winner: Suspense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like women's basketball fans, who experienced their first moment of uncertainty in two years. It only lasted a few minutes, but it sure was spooky....

Okay, Maybe Chris Bosh Wasn't Flopping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Michigan Fan Can't Think Of Any Way To Show His Loyalty Other Than His License Plate
A lawyer and Michigan grad is suing the state for revoking his "WLVRNE" license plate (from his 2003 Corvette, by the way), which they say they had already given to someone else. UM's law school must be so proud. [AP]...

What Did Kevin Durant Want Behind ESPN's Firewall?
This afternoon, Durant put out the call on Twitter for help getting to something on ESPN.com Insider. But what was it that Durant was so excited to read? We have ideas....

Dan Gadzuric Needs Velcro Sneakers
From tonight's game, Dan Gadzuric stops to tie his shoe, forcing the Bucks to play 4-on-5 for a verrrry looong tiiiime. Seriously, he almost runs out the shot clock....

Old Man Favre Becomes A Grandpa
Favre's daughter Brittany gave birth to Parker Brett, who won't make a decision on whether or not to return to the womb until August. [Star Trib]...

Your UConn Looks Mortal Open Thread
That 77-game streak looks to be in jeopardy, as the Huskies trail Stanford 20-12 at the half. (Yes, they are using a shot clock.) Discuss in the comments, if you are so inclined. [Update: UConn wins. Try not to riot.]...

The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....

Tiger Ingratiates Himself One First Name At A Time
Tiger's working really hard to get back into the public's good graces. Kicking off his comeback with that softball interview and a trip to the media-light Masters tournament were great ideas. Though everyone wants to bother him, no one will....

McNabb Now Officially A Redskin And The Eagles Are Now Officially Demolished
The longest tenured Philadelphia Eagle right now is safety, Quintin Mikell, who has been with the team since 2003....

Welcome Back, Duke Persecution Complex
At left is the front page of the Charlotte Observer the day after North Carolina won the 2009 national championship. At right, this morning's front page. Dookies, you may now return to your hilariously overblown sense of persecution....

NYC Subway Attacked By Peppy Oregon Students Humming Rick Astley Tune
Yes, the random hobo doo-wop groups shaking bags of change in your face in the subway are a little annoying, but this? I think I'd clap for this....

Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...