a Page 7804 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oregon Attorney General Asks, "You Paid Mike Bellotti <i>How Much</i>?"
Former Oregon AD Mike Bellotti will receive a $2.3 million severance package from a job that he held for nine months. The state's Justice Department seems to think that's a lot, especially once they heard that Bellotti never signed a contract....

Watch Xavier Miss Two Wide-Open Layups And Make Charles Smith Feel Better About Himself
Dash mentioned this earlier, and now here's the video: Xavier's Dee Dee Jernigan blows two layups, and Stanford's Jeanette Pohlen goes coast-to-coast and hits a circus layup to put Stanford in the Final Four. It's brutal. H/T Gamboa Constrictor....

ESPN Claim: John Clayton Does Not Have A Ponytail
A month ago, we got a glimpse of what looked to be the fabled ponytail of John Clayton. Now comes the official denial from ESPN....

Even The Washington Nationals' Ticket Website Knows They're Crap
Those plucky Washington Nationals are poised to surprise the National League East this year so buy your tickets now...right after you type "democratic diarrhea" into the box below. [WashingtonNationals] (H/T Reader Alex W.)...

Whites-Only Basketball Promoter Still Not A Racist (But Really Is)
The Daily Show does its Daily Show thing on Don "Moose" Lewis, who proves that his "No Black Guys" basketball league isn't racist by accusing the one black guy in the room of not respecting authority and stealing things....

New York Mets: The Undulating Curve Of Shifting Expectations
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The New York Mets....

Does Roger Clemens Look Like A Man Who Can't Please A Lady In Bed?
According to his former cuckoo mistress, Mindy McReady, The Rocket had some problems satisfying her in the bedroom. Even when she was 15? [Fox411]...

Last Night's Winner: Layup Drills
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like people who say sound fundamentals are just as exciting as dunks. They're right....sometimes! Then again, sometimes lousy fundamentals can be exciting too....

Joshua Cribbs Gets His Wife The Worst Birthday Present Ever
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

Golf Cart Demolition Derby Is Not Acceptable During Tournaments
A U Of Washington golfer was sent to the hospital after being pinned between two golf carts. This isn't a black eye for the sport; I know people who only watch college golf for the crashes. [Seattle Times]...

The Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Another day, another report that St. John's has struck out with another candidate for its vacant coaching position. Doesn't anybody want this job? It's actually getting kind of pathetic....

Forget England's World Cup Hopes; How About Posh And Becks' Sex Life?
Beckham's air cast means he'll have to lie flat in bed, and therefore, according to the papers, not have sex for three months. I fail to see why lying still is an obstacle to this. [Daily Star]...

Because It's On! Dancing With The Stars Week 2 Live Blog
Will Erin Andrews dance again with her lower half covered in silly string? Those who follow the live blog might find this out....

The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Just Won't Die
Although Harold Reynolds summoned the MLB PR department to flatly deny he was ever in Disney World over Spring Break and drunkenly intruded upon by a hapless young man, other people say HR is lying. They sent along this photo....

Lacrosse Players Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other; Crowd Rejoices
The Boston Blazers and the Philadelphia Wings had a little lacrosse brawl Saturday, doing to each other what everyone has wanted to do to a lacrosse player at some point. Kudos to the quick-thinking music coordinator (Mötley Crüe!). [The700Level.com]...

Pole-Dancing With Wolves
Their equipment? Five-inch pumps. Their field? A slippery 25-foot pole. Their mission? To wriggle and writhe along said 25-foot pole. These brave women are high-heeled gladiators in shorty-shorts. Step inside the 2009 East Coast Regional Pole Dancing Championships. [WithLeather]...

Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....

"He's In Shape": The Best Of Gus Johnson This Weekend
There was a lot of exciting basketball action this weekend, and no one was as psyched as Gus Johnson, who was reduced to moaning and yelling "pure!" over and over. Enjoy this compilation of Gus losing his shit....

Correction: Mikhail Prokhorov Is Your New Favorite Sports Billionaire
Last week, we pondered whether software tycoon Larry Ellison would soon become the NBA's craziest billionaire owner. Not a chance, once Mike "Mad Dog" Prokhorov suits up for the New Jersey Nets....