a Page 7809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...

Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Tiger Answers ESPN's Questions: "A Lot of Ugly Things Have Happened."
According to this press release, ESPN hand-picked Tom Rinaldi to sit down with Tiger Woods and ask the awkward questions about the golfer's super-sexual personal life for the WWL. Sports Business Journal's John Ourand has many of the details....

All Hail Our New Ivy League Overlords
Kentucky may be the favorites. Northern Iowa may have pulled the biggest upset. St. Mary's may be the least likely to be here. But for the next four days, this tournament belongs to Cornell....

Jose Canseco, Always Known For Attention To Privacy
Canseco and his girlfriend (or split personality) are currently carrying out a spat on Twitter. I just want to know which one just called me "sweetie," because I'm a little turned on. [@josecanseco]...

Big 12, Big East, A-10 Vie For Most Disappointing Tourney Conference: Your 5:00ish Games Open Thread
Xavier-Pitt, Texas A&M-Purdue, and Cal-Duke close out the weekend. By the end of the late afternoon slate, our Sweet 16 will be set. Well, not "ours." Mine included Kansas and 'Nova. Keep up in the comments....

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....

Chris Johnson Ruins A Perfectly Ugly Car
It's just like the Titans playbook: you can see Johnson coming a mile away and you still can't stop it. Don't mourn for that classic boat though; the paint job murdered it long before the 30-inch rims....

Swedish Wheelchair Curling Finally Has Its Doping Scandal
They drug test Paralympic athletes because, I don't know, God dictated they should be stuck with their disadvantages. Regardless, we have our first positive drug test....

Badger Badger Badger: Your 2:30ish Games Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
GaTech-OSU, MSU-Maryland, Mizzou-West Virginia, and Cornell-Wisconsin tangle in the early afternoon slate. On pep rally photos alone, the smart money is with Wisconsin. (H/T to BoRyansBaldSpot for the photo)...

Orlando Unhealthily Obsessed With Dwight Howard's Technicals
Magic fans, and to a greater extent, the Orlando media, are consumed with the thought that the NBA is out to get Howard. This includes pestering the league office about overturning every single foul he picks up....

Villanova Got Poopshowered
In those heady hours before Ali Farokhmanesh, we only had Omar Samhan for our Middle Eastern American Mid-Major superhero. Thankfully, Samhan's YouTube fame endures thanks to his username: "poopshower." [SBNation]...

Canine Vs. Citrus: Your Gonzaga-Syracuse Open Thread
A sole early game again, as 'Cuse tries to avoid getting Jayhawked, and Gonzaga tests our patience with its "Cinderella" label for the 20th consecutive year. Follow along in the comments, won't you?...

WVU Hotel Room Videos Are No Less Embarrassing Than A Sex Tape
Let's face it: even without a curfew, there's not a heck of a lot to do in Buffalo. But, confined to their hotel rooms, the Mountaineers are making the most of it, acting like teenage girls at a slumber party....

Yes, Kansas, Let Us Taste The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
