a Page 7818 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...
Beadle Distressed By Inflatable Dong Tongue; Cowherd, Not So Much
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Finally, A Basebrawl With Two Separate Felony Assaults
How often does SportsCenter tease a bench-clearing brawl, only to disappoint you when it turns out the hitter doesn't chase the pitcher into the outfield with his bat? Here's one that lives up to the promise inherent in every beanball....
Boston Fans To Pay For Right To Buy Drinks
Ah, the good old days when the creeping menace of seat licenses were only confined to actual sporting events. Not anymore, thanks to Jerry Remy's new sports bar, and its $500 season passes....
Florida State Has Asterisks Everywhere
FSU's Sod Cemetery contains grass from the sites of important road wins; some of which, according to the NCAA, are no longer wins. One fan of jurisprudence (and the Gators) took it upon himself to update the headstones. [EDSBS]...
How To Destroy Baseball In One Easy Step
A special committee has been looking into way to solve baseball's parity problems, and one of the proposed fixes will blow your freaking mind. Picture realignment, every season, based on teams choosing the division they want to be in....
Dykstra Strikes Out With The Help, Gets Sued
His financial empire in ruins, can we begrudge Lenny Dykstra his desire for a blow job? Yes we can, when he wants it from his personal assistant, and it's entirely non-consensual....
Even The Promotional Copy For Rick Reilly®'s New Book Is Phoned-In
"His new book — out May 4, 2010 — is called 'Sports From Hell, My Two-year Search for the World's Dumbest Competition'. It's the account of his three-year search for the dumbest sport in the world." [ESPN, h/t Jordan]...
Donavon Mcnabb Traded To San Fransisco; Donovan McNabb Still On Eagles
The pic above is from this website, which posted the phony McNabb trade rumor and has confused plenty of people, including poor Michael Smith, who was credited with breaking the phantom story this morning....
Show Us the Ugliest Americans You Can Find on St. Patrick's Day
In honor of Comedy Central's new show Ugly Americans, let's see the ugliest messes you encounter this St. Pat's. Send photos to [email protected]. The ugliest will be posted here for a vote. Winner gets a $300 AMEX gift card. Woot! [Rules]...
Kige Ramsey's Star Is Larger Than Most Natural Cave Systems In Kentucky
The "YouTube Sports" reporter's career is flowering. First, listen to him annihilate a Tennessee fan during a hillbilly debate on 104.5TheZone's "3 Hour Lunch" by boasting about Kentucky's "natural cave systems". Also, The Jimmy Fallon Show fellates him....
Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...
Beckham Prepares For A Tearful Reunion… With The Bench?
"David! David! Daaaaviiiiiid!"...
Detroit Lion Meets Real Lions To Raise Lion Awareness, Taunt Lions With Lions Helmet
Today in animal news, Detroit Lions linebacker Zack Follet went to California's Cat Haven to visit with some real lions and create a video that will make you feel very, very stoned....
You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired From Your Job, Part III
PR people are stupid. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this person, who sent this pitch about "Oral Sex and Oral Cancer Linked" to a popular sports radio show's producer. Because they are dumb....
ESPN.com Helps Launch False "Obama Wants To Ban Fishing" Rumor
Conservative websites are up in arms this week over the Obama administration's new plan to outlaw recreational fishing in America. It's an egregious abuse of executive power, slightly mitigated by the fact that it's not remotely close to being true....
South Africa Receives 42 Million Condoms For World Cup Orgy
Bracing for the influx of prostitutes and ESPN staffers this summer, Britain is doing its part to help prevent the spread of HIV in South Africa, which currently has 5.7 million people infected with the virus. [NYDN]...
Report: NFL Draft Prospect Once Put His Tremendous Upside In His Sister
Tony Washington, an o-line prospect from Division II Abilene Christian, impressed at the NFL Combine. However, like many prospects before him, a crime committed in his teen years might derail him, only this one involves having sex with his sister....
Senate Candidate Only Supports Government Takeover Of Hockey Logos
Oregon Senate candidate Marc Delphine loves America so much that his web team co-opted the Columbus Blue Jackets logo and made it their own. Maybe Columbus can let us borrow their employee health plan too. [Thanks, Matt C.]...
Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...