a Page 7828 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Birth, Peanut Butter, And Assorted Condiments
My kid has become obsessed with flashlights, which makes sense because I've NEVER stopped enjoying playing with flashlights. Seriously, flashlights are awesome. You can shine them directly in people's eyes. You can point them at the wall and shake them to make cool patterns. LOOK! A CIRCLE OF LIGHT!...

Raptors Mascot Fails To Sublimate Prey Drive, Eats Cheerleader
Also found in his digestive tract: Hedo Turkoglu's jump shot. [YouTube]...

Nightmares Never Sleep
The chilling new Air Jordan 2010 commercial shows what it's like to guard Dwyane Wade – a nightmare. But it doesn't stop there. An online Nightmare experience challenges you to master the skills that allow D-Wade to strike fear in opponents on courts everywhere. ...

ESPN's Tony Kornheiser Suspension — More About Chris Berman?
As The Big Lead reported, Tony Kornheiser received a short suspension for his comments made last week about Hannah Storm's wardrobe. But there were other remarks made that day that really irked his royal Norbyness....

Basketball Players Should Touch Each Other More Often, Science Urges
Scientists, those smart people who split the atom and cured polio, have charted hugs and high fives for every NBA team and concluded that, as The New York Times puts it, "good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."...

Royals Mascot Accused Of Assault With A Deadly Frankfurter
Perhaps we know why the Royals need a new Sluggerrr. The last one nearly blinded a guy with a hot dog and got the team sued. He'd get more damages if he'd actually seen the Royals play. [TMZ; photo via]...

Cleveland Indians: God Save The Fans
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cleveland Indians....

Dilemma: Why Can't Ski Jumping Be More Dangerous?
In the era of murderous luge runs and five-story mogul jumps, putting waxed floorboards on your feet and throwing yourself off a mountain just isn't what it used to be. Where have you gone, Vinko Bogataj? [NY Times/Pat's Papers]...

Last Night's Winner: Dance! Dance! Dance!
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like fans of competitive ice dancing, otherwise known as people who enjoy Linkin Park, uncomfortable sibling romance and the Holocaust. The Olympics have something for everyone!...

Everything Tiger Woods Does Is Funnier In Retrospect
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...

Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....

Stephen A. Smith Contends Tiger Woods' Apology Was Punkish, Cowardly
Stephen A., emoting: "Certainly he didn't want to address the media, and I thought that he was a punk and coward away from the real issue of addressing what transpired." Sock? Still retired. [SRI/SportingNews]...

Lindsey Vonn Has Not Yet Found Room In Her Heart To Believe In Tiger Woods Again
Of the people who hugged Tiger after his statement last week, Vonn says: "They're like, 'Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.'" [Time, via]...

Knee-High Boots Can Still Be Found On SportsCenter Set
The fiery red may have inflamed too many passions, but paired with a sensible skirt the kicks are still considered an appropriate compliment to Nets highlights. Duly noted....

Squash Players Are Just The Worst
Have you seen the trash-talking squash player video? It so matches the intensity of football or basketball that I almost wish those sports had never been invented so I wouldn't have to see squash players acting like such goons....

A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST: Sexual Harassment And 9/11 Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Email me your asshole boss story here....

The Olympics Have Daddy Issues
Slate's Sap-o-Meter reports: "Cumulatively, the words father, dad, and son were uttered a staggering 47 times between Friday and Sunday," largely on the strength of an Apolo Ohno feature. The Winter Olympics are the new baseball. [Slate]...

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....

Los Angeles Dodgers: Back To The Future
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Los Angeles Dodgers....