a Page 7831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Jordan To Attend Tiger Woods Press Conference? (UPDATE)
Oh...GET THE F OUT. As if this whole thing already wasn't one big giant sham, according to a report from WEEI, Michael Jordan will be in attendance at Tiger's 11 a.m. press conference....

Last Night's Winner: The Golf Writers Association Of America
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like American golf scribes, who defiantly removed their lips from the tainted buttocks of Tiger Woods and decided to collectively boycott today's "press conference."...

Where Is Your Quad Now?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Less Work For Medevac Pilots In Vancouver
They're shortening the women's downhill course to reduce speeds, and minimizing a tricky portion near the end. And no one even had to die! Progress, people, progress. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

People With Tenuous Florida Football Connections On Popular TV Show, Film At 11
Tim Tebow's maybe-Mary-Magdalene, and a former UCF player are among those in the top 24 on American Idol. Well, for now. Rumor has it one of them's gone because they couldn't keep their trap shut....

StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...

Siblings Get Romantic In Vancouver
All of the ice dancing pairs must perform a romantic tango routine. Four of the ice dancing pairs are brother and sister. Like, for example, those in the photo. Ick....

Douchial Profiling: Cowboys Fan Searched At Philly Airport
It takes a certain kind of person to wear a Cowboys jersey around Philadelphia the week after Dallas knocked the Eagles out of the playoffs. A terroristic kind of person? Without knowing all the facts, we say: probably....

But From Whom Would A German Learn About Gelt?
Luger David Möller broke a tooth biting down on his silver medal. I can only imagine he was having a Homer Simpsonesque "Land of Chocolate" hallucination. [The Local]...

Lindsey Vonn Crashes, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
Cheese-legged Lindsey Vonn lost her right ski and crashed in the slalom portion of the super-combined. Germany's Maria Riesch took gold, and Julia Mancuso won silver. (But shhhh, don't tell anyone.)...

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: The Euphemizing Goes Global
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

NBC Outrage Update: Dick Ebersol Agrees With You! (Eight Years Ago)
New York Times readers are begging the New York Times to stop posting Olympics results on their front page, because they just want to get news about Pakistan without having their TV evening ruined by sports spoilers. Too bad!...

Prodigiously Endowed Pirate Pitcher Jim Bibby Is Now Dead (Update)
From an emailer: "I was disappointed to find that you made no mention of the passing of Jim Bibby on today's page......

Lindsey Vonn's Brother Shows Support With Idiotic Haircut
America's downhill darling has a brother, who has some clippers, so he did this to head. Louis Vuitton must be so pleased....

The Tiger Woods Guide To Post-Scandal Press Conferences
No one knows what Tiger Woods will say or do tomorrow, but no matter what happens it will go down in the annals of classic public apologies. Here's a look at some of the legends of the genre....

Subway Fantasies, Fire, Sex Dolls, And Ingrown Hairs
I was watching "Archer" the other night and they had Archer's mom stranded on a shitty fishing boat that was named CHUM GUZZLER. That's a fucking win. Onto the letters....

Tony Kornheiser Thinks Hannah Storm Should Dress More Appropriately
"Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now." You bastard. [TheBigLead]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Dino Bravo
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Dino Bravo, who was shot to death on March 11, 1993, in his Laval, Quebec, home....

Tiger's "Selfish" Apology Already Off To A Bad Start
Tiger Woods hasn't even shown up for his earth-shattering non-press conference, but he's already annoying everyone with his attention-hogging, me-first attitude....

Duke Lacrosse Accuser Arrested For Assault
The woman who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 was arrested by Durham police after a domestic dispute. Charges include arson, assault and battery, identity theft, resisting an officer, child endangerment and attempted murder. So....yeah. [WRAL]...