a Page 7842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Most Important Question About Kyle Eckel Is Not "Who Is Kyle Eckel?"
Gregg Doyel isn't saying that Saints fullback—and former Navy Midshipman—Kyle Eckel is a traitor to his country, just that Kyle Eckel should explain to Gregg Doyel why he's in the Super Bowl and not Afghanistan. [CBS]...
Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...
Last Night's Winner: Ankle Doctors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like our nation's orthopedic specialists, who now hold the entire world in their hands like a big blue swollen ankle....
Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Meyer-To-Cowboys Rumor Too Absurd Not To Print
Some unnamed SEC coaches have been warning recruits that Urban Meyer will be ditching UF for the Dallas Cowboys. Because nothing's better for someone with heart and stress problems than the botoxed face of death staring you down. [Orlando Sentinel]...
When A Giant Bear Suit Is His Only Home
The surest sign this recession has touched everything we love: even our mascots are now homeless....
Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...
Our Captain Nailed His Teammate's Wife First — USA! USA!
John Terry and England may be making headlines now, but only because the sloppy American media missed a big one: John Harkes was dropped from the 1998 World Cup squad because he was having an affair with Eric Wynalda's wife....
Look Out ESPN: The Ocho Cinco News Network Is On The Air
I don't know about you, but I'd rather watch Chad Ochocinco prowl media day as a reporter than any number of Mexican models. (Why are you looking at me that way?)...
Presenting...The Deadspin Miami Super Bowl Bounty Hunt
Sadly, no one from Deadspin's masthead will physically be traveling down to Miami this year to take part in the annual Super Bowl festivities. Unfortunately, that does not mean assorted media personalities and athletes can carouse freely without torment. Continue....
Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...
John Starks Wants To Help You Transition Out Of Your Pants
Starks on his new zippered-pants company: "Not just basketball, but tennis, soccer, track and field, whatever you have to do to be able to transition in and out of your pants, we want to be leaders in that space." [TrueHoop]...
Plaxico Burress Destroyed A Holiday Turkey Before He Shot Himself In The Leg...And Other Strip Club Stories
Those of you who haven't seen "Big Fan" yet should buy it immediately: here or here. in real life, "Big Fan" co-star, Serafina Fiore, happens to manage HeadQuarters gentleman's club. She's got some stories....
Boston Fans Perfect The Art Of Self Parody
This custom Beruit table perfectly crystallizes the essence of why the stereotypical Boston sports fan is so universally loathed. Naturally, the stereotypical Boston sports fan who created it could not be prouder. [BarstoolSports]...
Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....
Why Get Married? Here’s Why. Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering sexy 80's videos, weighing things, sneezing, Mini Wheats, and more....
Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Jimmy Traina's XXX-tra Mustard Twitter page. [NSFWNSFWNSFW]...
Super Bowl Subplot #5: Haiti's Pierre Garçon
A dilemma has struck the publishing world this week. How do you make that little tail thingy on the C in Pierre Garçon's name? More importantly, if we can't figure it out does that make us worse than Paul Shirley?...
Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...