a Page 7869 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....

This Athlete Is Gay; You Got A Problem With That?
Rugby legend Gareth Thomas comes out of the closet, and everyone takes it in stride. Really, America? We're not as progressive as the Welsh? [Daily Mail]...

The Game Ball Goes To The Timekeeper
The clock inexplicably stops to give the home team extra time on their last possession. The refs huddle up and decide to end the game before the visitors can have theirs. You're damn right there's going to be controversy....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Dear NFL Network: thanks to you, the teams on the early slate are a combined 34 games under .500. Dear blizzard: today wouldn't have been the worst day to knock out TV reception. [The506]...

Your Ochocinco Tempest In A Teapot Of The Weekend
For a hot second there, Chad Ochocinco became a socially conscious rabble-rouser with a heart, instead of crazy-for-crazy's sake. But don't worry fans, the NFL will make sure no one pays a sweet little tribute to Chris Henry....

Barca Complete The Sexfecta
Barcelona go seis por seis, winning every single club title this year. That's like the Steelers winning the Super Bowl, other countries actually playing football, and then Pittsburgh beating all of them. [CNN]...

The Time Of Year When It's Okay To Bribe Student Athletes
Bowl season is upon us, with yesterday's New Mexico Bowl and St. Petersburg Bowl presented by Beef 'O' Brady's respectively. But these meaningless games are less interesting than the payment gift bags given to the players involved....

In Which Tony Romo and Not Breesus Performs A December Miracle
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Which Former NBA Star Had An Affair With Some Guy Malcolm Gladwell Met At A Party?
And no, it is not the guy in the picture, I am fairly certain. But the beauty of Malcolm Gladwell is, I now know who Adonal Foyle is!...

Teen Guilty of "Horsing Around!" (Also Probably Seriously Mentally Ill)
Wacky sporting news for you crazy kids! "Goshen teen charged with having sex with horses."...

No, Shaq Didn't
Like many of you, I went to elementary school, high school and college. I took such and such classes, earned such and such grades, and amassed such and such degrees....

Yes Virgins, Shaq Did Have Sexual Relations With Gilbert Arenas' "Baby Mamma." You Can Blame Feminism For That.
Last month, news reports began to surface that a centimillionaire professional athlete may have been unfaithful to his wife. Next someone's going to tell me Barney Frank is sodomist....

Minnesota "Wild Fire" Pun Used in Headline
Oh, here is some non-skeleton racing news, for you! Everything the Minnesota Wild own burst into flames in Canada, yesterday. Everything! Also they all have the flu....

The Rich Eisen Problem
America is tired. We are, we're told, by the television, on the "wrong track." We are worried about debt. About our children. We worry, I think, most of all, about the NFL Network broadcasting important late-season games....

Zach Lund Is Not One Of Those Balding Dudes Who Shave Their Heads Because They Are Like, In Denial About The Bald Thing
Did you know propecia could be used to mask commonly exploited performance-enhancing drugs? But here's why (besides, like, duh?) to "just say no" to this "folly of follicles", courtesy top-ranked "skeleton racer" Zach Lund…...

Redskins Owner Surprisingly Tone Deaf on Issue of Racial Sensitivity
White guy Dan Snyder fired white guy Vinny Cerrato and immediately replaced him with white guy Bruce Allen, so that he can bring in either white guy Mike Shanahan or THIS (white) GUY Jon Gruden. Isn't there some rule...?...

Bears Grounded in Chicago
The Chicago Bears are unable to make it to Baltimore, because of the massive terrible snowstorm that literally everyone in the mid-Atlantic area is being a tremendous baby about....

Still Looking For Old Saint Dick
It's never good to let a coach's unfortunate firing ruin a joyful time of the year — and a perfectly good Christmas card. Remember when Dick Jauron was tactfully "removed" from the Bills' team photo? The team made lemonade....

Milton Bradley Will Now Be Mistreated By A New Fan Base
The Chicago sports media trade Milton Bradley to Seattle for the remains of Carlos Silva. Nick Johnson will compete for a spot on the Yankees' disabled list. Ladies and gentlemen, this is HOT FUCKING STOVE....