a Page 7904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tuomo Ruutu Will Drink Your Milkshake!
Then he will take the glass it was served in and bash you in the face with it. There was a scary moment last night during the Colorado Avalanche-Carolina Hurricanes game when Tuomo Ruutu viciously and recklessly boarded Darcy Tucker....
Um, Gotta Support The Team?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
And Now There's This: Sean Salisbury Really Is Suing Us
Sean Salisbury has made good on his promise and filed a defamation lawsuit in Texas against Gawker Media. His attorney tells the Frisco Enterprise that we've waged a "long-running smear campaign" against his client....
Mutton But The Truth
I can think of no better way to end this week than with a photo of a bootless child being maimed by a haughtily superior sheep as a rodeo clown tries vainly to help. Unpack this metaphor as you will....
<em>Chicago Trib</em> Begins Overhaul Of Sports Section With Some Two-Fisted Memo Writing
"Much like the Cubune myth, the conventional wisdom among some in Chicago has been that our pals across the way have the better Sports section. ... Pardon the Hoosier in me rising up, but that's bull shit." [Romenesko]...
Corporate Layoffs Hit NBA Rosters?
Nearly half of NBA teams will start the season with fewer than the league-maximum 15 players, because many of them can't afford to pay the extra dead weight. Have they considered outsourcing the towel-waving to India ?[AP/ESPN]...
ESPN's Lacey Confirms Despicably Mongered Rumor
New York Post reports: "Senior marketing Vice President Kate Lacey is in a hot-and-heavy romance with David Berson, the vice president for programming. 'I'm in an ongoing and known relationship with a peer,' Lacey told The Post." [NY Post]...
UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....
Dolphins Aim To Keep Saints From Touching Themselves Further
Miami linebacker Channing Crowder muses about this weekend's opponent, New Orleans: "They're undefeated, they're probably smelling themselves, rubbing each other's balls." Except the Miami Herald changed the quote to "[back]." Yeah, that's basically the same thing. [Herald/Twitter]...
Share Your Gambling Misery With The World
A reminder to send in your sad gambling stories, for inclusion tomorrow in our weekly chronicle of degeneracy, Bad Beats. E-mail us at [email protected]. It's like therapy, but with more anonymous mockery and schadenfreude....
Coming Soon: Jonathan Papelbon's Dubious Taste In Cinema
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Fans, Media Recruited (And Manipulated) In Fight Over Televised Sports (Updated)
Some media outlets want you to rage against a new lobbying organization that claims to represent sports fans, but is actually a front for satellite companies looking to destroy cable TV sports. But who is really manipulating who here?...
The One Where Everyone Starts Yelling About ESPN Horndoggery
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Why Your "Why Your Stadium Sucks" Feature Sucks
The Yankee Stadium installment of Why Asymmetrical Outfields/HOK/Public Financing/Privately Controlled Means Of Production/George Will Sucks will run sometime next week, just in time for an Angels-Phillies World Series. Keep sending me your stories: [email protected]....
NFL Experts Will Not Rest Until Every Quarterback Leads The League In Something Retarded
If you follow the NFL as closely s I do, you begin to get a sixth sense for cliché memes. They tend to spread across the football landscape as quickly as Irvin's herpes....
Yankees' Loss Inspires Frantic Search For New Small-Sample-Size Scapegoat
The Yankees lost 7-6 yesterday, and if it wasn't Girardi's fault, it was Burnett's fault or Hughes' fault or Swisher's fault, three men demonstrating an unmanly lack of clutch, unlike the New York media's new darling of clutch, Alex Rodriguez....
Randy Hanson Keeps It In Perspective
After learning that former boss Tom Cable would not face charges for breaking his jaw, Hanson said: "It felt like the Rob Lytle fumble all over again." He's like the Al Davis of terrible analogies. [Yahoo]...
Adrian Peterson's Crotch Welcomes You To New York
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Beer In The Bathroom: The Circle Of Life
Drew mentioned this earlier, but it bears further examination. The Redskins are selling beer in FedExField bathrooms? Holy crap, that's awesome. And unsanitary....