a Page 7947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Unbelievable Miss Just Reinforces That There's No Scoring In Soccer
Quarterfinals of the Asian Games, stoppage time, and Qatar's Fahad Khalfan has naught but 24 feet of twine between him and victory. Doink. Uzbekistan would win in extra time....
Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....
Wrigley Field Tarts Itself Up For Another Rich Loser
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....
MNF: Young, Underpaid Quarterback Is So Far Outperforming Older, Overpaid Quarterback
At the start of the second half in the capital, the Eagles are up 45-14. Here's your belated open thread....
Omaha Royals Change Team Name To Storm Chasers; Ensure Lameness With Promo Video
In what could prove to be the year's second-worst re-branding effort, the Omaha Royals announced today that they will now be known as the Storm Chasers. The promotional video almost makes it all pathetically endearing, but mostly it's just pathetic....
Botanical Garden Dong The Latest In Our Extensive Collection
We've seen a lot of pseudodong in our day, but it's about time we went green. From the New York Botanical Garden comes this fine phallic specimen....
Giants Stadium Loses Power, Fans Quickly Resort To Violence
Usually at the Meadowlands, everybody's really friendly. That was not the case yesterday when a blown transformer caused a power outage in the new stadium. The fans reacted by very calmly, very assuredly, beating the crap out of each other....
Is This Pee-Wee Team Running A Fumblerooski Or Just Bad At Football?
The Southaven, Miss., Broncos were leading 25-0 and well on their way to winning a recent game when they lined up for the extra point. What happened next might have been poor sportsmanship or a broken play....
Mark Cuban On The Heat's Slow Start: "Hallelujah, Is That Great Or What?"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Cubes breaks out the schadenfreude....
You've Got To Be Shitting Me, Washington
Apparently Donovan McNabb just signed a 5-year extension with the Redskins. This is no "sorry 'bout benching you" empty gesture. There's $40 million guaranteed. Guhh....
Rodeo Bull Jumps Into Crowd, Gets Kicked Out Of Rodeo
The Canadian National Rodeo Finals were this weekend, and boy were they exciting. There was speculation over who would be crowned Miss Rodeo, the inspiring return of barrel racer Benette Barrington, and the rodeo itself, of course....
World's Worst Muay Thai Ref Sees No Problems With Garbage Can Lids
A pretty exciting Muay Thai match becomes a whole different animal after the introduction of some garbage can lids. Then it becomes a regular match again, all the while the referee does nothing. Niche sports are fantastic sometimes. [The Spoiler]...
Heat Strokes, Game 10: Miami Teaches Its Pitiful Fans How To Cheer
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....
It's That Time Of Year Again: Let's See Your SHOTY Nominations
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of telestrator dong. It's amazing that it's already time for Sportshuman Of The Year nominations, yet, here we are....
Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....
Breaking: Duke Basketball Player Does Something Tolerable
Kyle Singler is probably the least-grating Duke "star" of all time because—as this video shows—he's a goofball. Like if Lennie from Of Mice and Men played college basketball....
Athletic Director's Heart Attack Broadcast To Entire Stadium Over PA
Thousands of fans at a Brooklyn HS playoff game got to hear Erasmus AD Marshall Tames collapse from a heart attack over the stadium's loudspeakers. They also heard him defibrillated and brought back to life....
Athletes Teach Us How To Dougie
2010 has become the year of the "Dougie" in sports. We're still trying to master the Chicken Noodle Soup....