a Page 8014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sexxxy Pitino Extortion Trial Kicks Off With Blowjobs For Everyone
We're barely done with opening arguments, and Karen Sypher's already accused of two blowjobs-for-favors, a one-night-stand, a marriage, an abortion, and, oh yeah, extortion. We're not sure our delicate sensibilities can handle the afternoon session. [Kentucky Sports Radio]...
Chris Paul Is No Less Of A Cocksucker Than LeBron James
Despite their "productive" meeting today, Chris Paul still wants out of New Orleans. The breakup-in-progress has been very public, and very heartbreaking for Hornets fans. So why do we give Paul a pass while we continue to pile on LeBron?...
Poorly Planned Robbery Leads To Drexel Hoops Arrests
Two Drexel players, Jamie Harris and Kevin Phillip, turned themselves in to Philadelphia police today and now face armed robbery charges after their attempt to "score a big stash of cash" from a female Drexel student's apartment last Wednesday....
Deadspin Classic: Stephon Marbury Is Puzzled By My Godlessness
Contrary to earlier reports out of China, Stephon Marbury says he's still holding out hope of signing with the Heat. Three years ago, I sat down with Marbury, and the two of us discussed other providential matters....
Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....
Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...
Texas To Sponsor The Very Power Of The Earth Itself
Fresh off approving water bottles shaped like the campus tower (you know, the one from which Charles Whitman killed 14 people), UT is partnering with an energy company to sponsor Longhorn Electricity and Longhorn Natural Gas. [SBJ]...
Madden Soundtrack Revealed, No More Shitty Pop-Punk
Through torturing America with the likes of Yellowcard and Good Charlotte, Madden 11 will go with the old stadium standbys: Crazy Train, Song 2, Rock and Roll Part 2, and the like. So, overplayed, but the classic kind of overplayed. [EA]...
Weekend Winner: The Dan Haren Swindle
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Angels, who shoplifted Dan Haren out of Arizona and so thoroughly snookered the Diamondbacks that someone should check if Chase Field is encased in aluminum siding....
The "Greatest Ultimate Frisbee Catch of All Time" (UPDATE)
I don't see any reason to argue about that statement. Somebody find me information on this skinny guy with the bald spot laying himself out. He could be the love child of Edwin Baptiste and Tyrone Prothro. [YouTube]...
Monday Morning Psychologist, With Dez Bryant And Roy Williams
Actual headline from actual newspaper: "Dez Bryant Refuses To Carry Roy Williams' Shoulder Pads." So while this may not be a big story, the media's damn sure they're going to make it one. So let's analyze!...
Martellus Bennett Becomes Latest Player To Have Dong Shots Exposed By Scorned Female
Last week, Cowboy beat reporters wondered why Bennett was absent from the first few days of mini-camp. Bennett admitted yesterday he sprained his ankle doing "jump-ball" drills. Today, a cellphone pic self-portrait of him posing in the shower arrives....
Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....
It's Okay To Make Fun Of Lance Armstrong Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Seth Tommeraasen Asks "Does Deadspin Cover Flugtag?"
... And Brian Hickey answers, "You bet your ass Deadspin covers flugtag. Lookie here."...
Kings of Leon Dethroned by Pigeons
What's most ladylike: a) Curtseying, b) Sitting with legs crossed while wearing a skirt or c) Canceling a concert in St. Louis after three songs because birds were pooing on you? If you answered "C," we're in agreement....
Oh Good, Troy Polamalu's on Twitter Now
Neither sound or light can escape todays social network I dont know why I thought I could but today I surrender to the tweeting revolution...
Here's Video of Ron-Ron Artest Learning to Play Dodgeball
Wasn't there, but I think he's the tall fellow with the red headband hiding behind the little girl. You know, like he does at the Staples Center. Zing!...
Tim Tebow Makes Me Hate America
Elway made me a Denver Broncos fan in '83. Activist-athlete Tim Tebow made me a non-Broncos fan from '10 until which point Tebow's gone off to monastery and Mini-Belichick Josh McDaniels returns to Madame Tussauds' Napoleon display....
Capitals Stand By Their Man ... Unless He's a Junkie
When Joshua Robertson was 18, the Washington Capitals picked him in the fifth round of the NHL draft. When he was 25, the Whitman (Mass.) Police rounded him up for an admittedly heroin-fueled burglary streak....