a Page 8036 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steelers Fans Need To Learn That No Parking Means No Parking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Steve Smith Actually Broke His Arm Playing Flag Football. Against Adults.
Despite initially trying to blame his broken arm on roughhousing children—children!—it has become apparent that Carolina's All-Pro wideout actually injured himself trying to take over an adult rec league. That may be the saddest thing ever....
Did Manute Bol Coin The Phrase "My Bad"?
Well, maybe he didn't invent it (see also: Shakespeare, William), but he certainly helped popularize it among the NBA and its fans. That guy's death was a damn shame. [Language Log, via, via, via]...
North Korean Beatdown Broadcast Live To Confused Homeland
Emboldened by their soccer team's "triumph" over Brazil, North Korean state television actually allowed yesterday's "revenge" match against Portugal to be broadcast live to its citizens, many of whom may currently be wondering: "Is seven a lot of goals?"...
Ron Artest's Not-At-All Rushed Video For "Champions"
After tantalizing America with talk of his new hit song, Ron Artest had no choice but to throw together an "official" video for the song in a weekend. Worth the wait! [YouTube or download if you love piracy; Thanks, Michael]...
Fisherman Loses $900,000 Record Marlin Due To $5 Fishing License
A tournament fisherman caught an 883-pound blue marlin off North Carolina last week. That would have won him a $912,000 first prize, but one of the crew members on his boat didn't have a fishing license. So....disqualified. Oops....
Doctor Who Treats Football Players Accused Of Knowing Football Players
Canadian officials confiscated something labeled "NFL file folder" from the office of Anthony "Dorian Gray" Galea. That's right....a doctor kept detailed records of his patients! Can't wait until they find the file labeled "Butts I Injected With HGH." [ESPN]...
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 21
Today we saw a feeding frenzy in the Portugal-North Korea game, Chile putting itself in good position for the round of 16, and Spain showing everyone why it's still a favorite. Another favorite: snickering at foreign cultures through culturally insensitive music placement....
The Boys Not On The Bus: Riding Around Solo On FIFA's Cravenly Shunned Media Vehicles
JOHANNESBURG — Getting around this city during the World Cup has been an unholy mess. Traffic can be obscene. Cabbies have turned into pirates. So it's nice to have access to media shuttles. Too bad almost nobody uses them....
Zidane Denies Orchestrating France Squad’s Rebellion
Headbutt specialist Zinedine Zidane has denied being the driving force behind the France World Cup team's decision to challenge manager Raymond Domenech's authority....
Here's Something That Will Make You Cry If You Are A Big Hairy Sap: John McDonald's Father's Day Homer
What he thought after hitting a home run in his first at bat after his dad's death: "Probably the fact that I couldn't call my dad after the game to tell him." FUCK, I'M BAWLING. [BigLeagueStew] [Via MLB.com]...
Intern Horrors: Eating Mike Francesa's Egg Roll Is Not A Euphemism, Thank God
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns, and the people who use them, shine a light on the worst aspects of internin'. This week: a radio host loses an egg roll, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and a run-in with Warren Sapp....
Buzz Bissinger Explains His Transformation Into Twitter's King Of Douche-Juicing
"I am an angry man, which is one of the reasons I resumed therapy and take four different pharmaceuticals. I wake up angry, stay angry during the day except to my dog and children, and go to bed angry at night." [TNR]...
Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 19-20
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?...
Meet The Mets, Greet The Mets, Get The Goddamn Mets Tattooed All Over Yourself
A Bronx man has the names of 35 of his favorite Mets players tattooed on his arms, including Mike Piazza and Francisco Rodriguez. He's running out of space, but might have just enough room for Butch Huskey and Mo Vaughn. [NY Post]...
Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....
World Cup Open Thread: Spain-Honduras
Spain flopped in its opener to Switzerfuckingland, and Honduras — where soccer is in such a sorry state that Jonathan Bornstein is a national hero — is coming off a 1-0 loss to Chile. Discuss in the comments....
Ricky Rubio Had A Miserable Draft Night, According To His (Platonic) Escort
A year ago, Ethan Sherwood Strauss worked as Rubio's league-assigned escort at the NBA Draft, which made him privy to the young Spaniard's innermost thoughts. Such as: "They drafted ANOTHER point guard? Why?" [Free Darko]...
Come To Steve Smith's Football Camp For Kids — Where You Can Learn To Injure A Star
The Panthers WR broke his arm while horsing around at his football camp. No, it wasn't on this high-five, but it was almost as embarrassing....
Obama Takes A Firm Stand Against The Wave
The president probably gained a few more votes by refusing to take part in one of the worst stadium traditions. His daughter, on the other hand, needs a firm talking-to. [via Power Line]...