a Page 8398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Andruw Jones May Be A Bit Confused
Andruw Jones turns down a minor-league deal with the Yankees, then signs a minor-league deal with the Rangers. Someone please explain to him how "negotiating" works.... [Lewp]...

Cal Ripken Jr. Gets Nailed To Wall
Heads you lose, tails I win: Rutgers' top football recruit chose his school based on a coin toss. And who says college recruiting is not a serious enterprise? [Bootlegger Sports]...

We're Beginning To Suspect That Mixed Martial Arts Has Jumped The Shark
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....

Toodaloo, Honolulu
Millions tune in to see NFC win the final Pro Bowl to be played in Hawaii. Just kidding; everyone was napping. [NBCSports]...

Will You Still Respect This Model In The Morning?
Just a friendly reminder that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue hits newsstands this week. I'm guessing that there won't be any "hockey erotica" involved....

Cancel The Pro Bowl
Earlier, when I was talking about what sports were available and lamented the complete lack of football, I literally forgot that the Pro Bowl was today. Not that it counts as a football game. [NFL.com]...

Baseball Being Very Good To Ryan Howard
Phillies reward the big fella with a three-year, $54 million contract. So do they just go ahead and cut Geno's Steaks their 10% right now? [MLB.com]...

Houston Texans Can't Wait Until Fall To Fail
It seems like that Outside The Lines report about Houston's illegal contact drills should get people at least as riled up as what some baseball player sticks in his butt. But it won't....

The Internet Is Fed Up With Ed Hightower's Shenanigans
Veteran NCAA referee Ed Hightower is notorious for his foul-calling theatrics. One group of fans had enough and fought back the only way they knew how - via the awesome power of MS Paint....

TNT Sells Out H-O-R-S-E?
I'm not sure if this is real or just idle (but completely believable) speculation, but USA Today is reporting that the game of All-Star H-O-R-S-E will actually be G-E-I-C-O, to the delight of the sponsor....

Heat Up Your Cold February Nights With Hockey Erotica
If you're looking for hot entertainment, I suggest finding your way North this month for "a new show that brings Canada's two favourite pastimes—hockey and sex—together at last on one rollicking theatre stage."...

Ex-Falcon Jamal Anderson Arrested On Drug Charges
The former RB turned ESPN analyst was arrested in Atlanta last night in possession of cocaine and a "suspected marijuana cigarette." See what you've done, Michael Phelps? [AJC]...

Breaking: VIPs Get Best Seats At Sporting Events
Oregon residents are shocked—shocked!—to learn that going through the official NCAA lottery does not get you the best seats for basketball tournament games. [Oregonian]...

Arizona Cardinals Coordinators Receive Slightly Different Treatment After Super Bowl Run
We're adding a little something to this month's Super Bowl coordinators contest. First prize is a new head coaching gig with another team. Second prize is you're fired....

Mike Tomlin's Younger Self Would Like To Share His Meal Plan With You
I'm not sure why this was sent to us or what it has to do with anything, but here it is—Mike Tomlin is a organ donor!...

Sometimes, One Must Choose One's Words Carefully So As Not To Offend
Meet Tatiana Montoyo. She is the starting point guard on the Syracuse Central Tech junior varsity girls' basketball team. She is also 3'10" tall. I vow to not drop the "big heart" line....

The New York Knicks Are Just Happy To Be Alive
Some teams might suffer a three-game losing streak at home and get fired up. Not the New York Knicks. No, they spent the week getting beat by the NBA's best and couldn't be happier....

Adam Morrison Embarks Upon A Cross-Country Moustache Ride
The Los Angeles Lakers have traded Vladimir Radmanovic to the Charlotte Bobcats for Adam Morrison, Shannon Brown, and a book of moustache jokes. [LA Times]...

Sarah Palin Gets NHL Goalie Fired
In a surprise move that made waves from St. Charles, MO to Belleville, IL, the St. Louis Blues placed former all-star goalie Manny Legace on waivers yesterday, and it's all Sarah Palin's fault....

In Other, Suspiciously Less-Reported Steroid News
While the sporting world wrings its hands over allegations that Alex Rodriguez used steroids, former NFL (and Kansas Jayhawks!) defensive lineman Dana Stubblefield was sentenced to probation for his role in the BALCO doping scandal....