ac Page 1029 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Celtics Fans Will Be Wearing Tim Donaghy Masks Tonight
Celtics fans, including the world's most famous Celtics fan, truly believe that the NBA is rigged and/or biased for Miami and against Boston. To do their best to give David Stern an aneurism, there's a campaign to print out and wear masks of everyone's favorite crooked ref Tim Donaghy. This is the b...
The Joe Paterno Tribute Song The World Has Been Waiting For
This isn't the first song honoring Joe Paterno, but it's totally the best. Coming to us from Joey Welz, "The Boogie Woogie King of Rock 'n' Roll" and his Casio synthesizer, I so very proudly give you his latest single, "Tribute To Joe Paterno."...
I'll Have Another Barely Escapes Assassin Horse (Shadowy Steinbrenner Cabal Update!)
At Belmont Park today, a still-unidentified horse took a gallop at I'll Have Another, just nine days before he makes his run at the Triple Crown. The mysterious horse, possible awoken from a Manchurian Candidate trance by a secret word ("oats"), threw her rider and ran down the track, directly at I'...
Vanderbilt Football Coach Will Not Hire Assistants Until He's Seen What Their Wives Look Like
Ah, Vanderbilt. A refined, enlightened place. "The Harvard of the South," it's called. So it's not without reason that its football coach, James Franklin, seems like the Larry Summers of the South:...
Report: The Blackhawks Have Suggested That Patrick Kane Seek Counseling
Three weeks back, we shared with you a reconstruction of Patrick Kane's drunken Cinco de Mayo weekend in Wisconsin. Kane, sources told us, was thrown out of bars and frat houses, for, among other things, choking a girl and making anti-Semitic comments. The cops were involved, at one point, but he wa...
It's 2012, And Michael Jordan Has Found Another Way To Humiliate Patrick Ewing
Patrick Ewing's career can only be defined by his failures at the hands of Michael Jordan. Be it college or the pros, Ewing has never been able to reach the ultimate success in his profession because Michael was always in the way. And now, ever nearer to the pinnacle of his post-playing career—an ac...
Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Mario Balotelli's prepared for any racism that might erupt during this summer's Euro 2012 competition in Poland and the Ukraine. Prepared to go to jail, that is, telling France Football he's all too willing to face hate with violence:...
Why Did Terrell Owens <i>Really</i> Get Cut By His Indoor Football Team?
Yes, yes, it's fun to believe, and goes perfectly with every T.O. stereotype we have, that Terrell Owens was released by the Allen (Texas) Wranglers because he's just too much of a diva. And it's probably true—Owens is kind of a selfish jerk who was dicking around in the IFL for some quick cash and ...
Metta World Peace Wishes You All A Happy Labor Day
In a way, it is sort of fitting that World Peace can't remember Memorial Day, but we're guessing this has less to do with Metta being meta and more to do with Metta being Metta. Enjoy it....
The Odds Ever Favor The Truly Regional NCAA Baseball Bracket
The NCAA has just announced its baseball championship bracket, to approximately one billionth of the fanfare that its annual orgy of uneducated guesswork, the basketball championships, engenders. But take a moment to appreciate the symmetry, and the humble nature of the appropriately named Regionals...
Once Again Northwestern Wins Nth Women's Lacrosse Title in N+1 Years
The women's lacrosse team from Northwestern University out-lacrossed the women's lacrosse team from Syracuse University on Sunday to win the program's seventh national title in eight years, a laudable feat of consistent ass-kicking that becomes all the more impressive when you consider the key word ...
The Flaming Lips, Oklahoma City's Only Other Reason For Being, Rewrite 1999 Track to Celebrate Thunder
While the Thunder ponder what might have been in San Antonio last night if they hadn't committed four offensive fouls in the fourth quarter, or if they'd defended Manu Ginobili with something sturdier than hard glares, they can regroup to the flattering sounds of OKC's favorite local psychedelic roc...
Naked Man Shot To Death While Eating Another Man's Face
We can dispense with the Ohio or Florida game. This kind of crazy only happens in Florida. Just south of the Miami Herald offices, to be sort of specific. At around 2:00 p.m. yesterday afternoon, people heard several gunshots along the 13th Street ramp of the MacArthur Causeway. According to Miami ...
Conor Daly Goes Airborne In Monaco During Today's GP3 Series Race
Scary scene from Monaco today when Conor Daly appeared to get his nose on the rear tire of Dmitry Suranovich and preceded to take off, bouncing off the catch fencing and landing with his car in shreds. While the commentators seem to imply it was his fault, it's scary nonetheless....
Lacrosse Names Just Keep Getting Sillier And Sillier
Currently, the NCAA has these rosters (click to enlarge) set to play when Notre Dame and Loyola Maryland square off this afternoon at 2:30 p.m. Can you spot the mistake? Ok, fine we'll tell you because lax names are ambiguous to begin with....
Guy Who Released Bountygate Audio Uncovers New Scandal: James Harrison Loves Justin Bieber, Nickelback
When last we heard from filmmaker Sean Pamphilon, he was unleashing that damaging audio of Gregg Williams instructing Saints players to "kill the fucking head." Pamphilon's latest release to promote his forthcoming documentary is a segment he filmed with Steelers linebacker James Harrison, who gra...
<em>Hard Knocks</em> Hopes To Have A Team By The End Of Next Week
According to a report in today's Post, HBO expects/plans/vows to finally get a team to say yes to doing Hard Knocks by June 1. Six teams have already said they want no part of it, and the Jets are at about a 90 percent "no."...
J.R. Smith Arrested For Being Black In Miami Beach
Urban Beach Weekend starts today, but the Miami Beach cops were ready to party last night. Even though the police force has absolutely no quotas about how many young, recreation-seeking black people they're supposed to lock up over the holiday weekend, New York Knick/Zhejiang Golden Bull J.R. Smith ...
This Is The Face Of Pacers Fan Denial
Oh, sure, this is supposedly an image of Ryan Briscoe, the Aussie driver who will sit the pole for Sunday's Indy 500, but then a bespectacled Roger Sterling in a "Gold Swagger" t-shirt (which the real Roger Sterling would totally wear) decided he needed to be in on the fun. He also appears to have ...
Doug O'Neill, Trainer Of I'll Have Another, Will Be Suspended For Non-I'll Have Another Infraction
The California Racing Board has upheld a punishment of Doug O'Neill, trainer for Triple Crown hopeful I'll Have Another, in connection with an incident in a race nearly two years ago. In that case, Argenta, a horse trained by O'Neill, showed an overly high level of carbon dioxide in its blood. That'...