ac Page 560 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
After Nearly Two Years, Tottenham Are Finally Buying Players Again
Congratulations, Spurs fans: the club’s long transfer market nightmare is finally over. On Tuesday, Tottenham Hotspur announced not just one, but two transfers, the first by the club since signing right winger (both on the field and off of it) Lucas Moura back in January of 2018. And judging by the ...
The Warriors Will Retire The Jersey Of A Guy Who Dumped Them For Kyrie Irving
Having lost Kevin Durant in free agency to Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, the Golden State Warriors announced Monday that Durant’s number-35 jersey will be effectively retired, for as long as Joe Lacob is in control of the team:...
Phil Kessel's Going To Arizona After A Messy Breakup With The Penguins
The Pittsburgh Penguins accomplished the inevitable. After Phil Kessel rejected a trade to the Minnesota Wild, the Pens found an agreeable new team for him, all the way out in Arizona. On Saturday, Pittsburgh traded Kessel, a 2021 fourth-round pick, and prospect Dane Birks to the Coyotes for Alex Ga...
Recently Promoted Spanish Soccer Club Renamed As Flat Earth FC
After earning promotion to the Spanish fourth flight division, the club formerly known as Mostoles Balompie got a complete rebrand from president Javi Poves and was renamed Flat Earth FC. Poves confirmed in a video statement that the change was intended to support one of the dumbest fringe beliefs:...
Darren Collison Abruptly Retires From NBA To Focus On Life As A Jehovah's Witness
After 10 seasons in the NBA, Darren Collison announced his retirement through an open letter to The Undefeated, citing his faith as the catalyst for his decision:...
NBA Set To Add Coach's Challenges To Review System Next Season
According to a memo reportedly sent Friday morning, the NBA will be experimenting with adding a coach’s challenge to its current replay review system. The trial will begin with summer league basketball next month, but the league “anticipates using the rule during the 2019-20 regular season as part o...
Dead Letters: "Earth Isn’t A Rotating Sphere, Get Used To It"
Subject: NZ Womens Soccer...
The Man Who Walked His Life Away
George Wilson stepped out into the medieval-walled prison yard and began to walk. He was 47 years old, beaten-down, and half-starved. His squat frame and stubby legs hardly suggested athletic excellence. But Wilson was well-known as a perambulator, a peregrinator, and a master of “leg-ology.” He was...
Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today
The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...
An Interview With The Man Who Enraged A Minor League Baseball Team By Suggesting They Call Themselves The Humpback Chubs
Today, for reasons that were at first very hard to parse, the Grand Junction Rockies, a minor-league team affiliated with the Colorado Rockies, sent out the following aggressive, since-deleted tweets:...
A Scout's Honor
You don’t get to choose which parts of your past are remembered. ...
Dominant Dodgers Reliever Russell Martin Threw His First Career Strikeout
Some MLB managers might believe that, when the team is down 8-2 and the bullpen is drained, it’s time to give up and send out a position player to pitch. Not Dave Roberts, though. When he and his Dodgers found themselves in that exact situation at the tail end of their series against the Diamondback...
Moron President Gives Defense Department Four Months To Craft Service Academy Athletics Policy He Himself Axed
Having previously bragged about his intention to look into such a thing, our sleazy doofus of a president has taken the first formal step toward instituting a policy that would allow service academy athletes to defer their military service obligations in order to pursue careers in professional spor...
Egyptian Soccer Player Kicked Off National Team After Getting Exposed As A Sex Pest On Social Media
The Egyptian national soccer team, currently competing in the African Cup of Nations, announced today that they have booted midfielder Amr Warda out of their AFCON squad after several women revealed evidence of Warda being a DM-sliding, unsolicited dick pic-sending creep....
Jack Del Rio Was At The Buffet When The Jaguars Decided To Draft Blaine Gabbert
Usually we only get to hear the juicy stories behind NFL Draft machinations when someone wants to brag, about finding a hidden gem or putting one over on another team, but in all cases, it involves a successful pick. Well, this is not that, but it’s also sort of that, in the sense that Jack Del Rio ...
All Coaches Should Wear Uniforms
Today, we’re talking about bathroom boogers, Law & Order, forgettable football teams, office beers, and more....
Andre Iguodala Says Mark Jackson Is Being Blackballed From The NBA
Warriors veteran Andre Iguodala is currently out promoting his new book, and this morning he stopped by the Breakfast Club to chat about everyone’s least favorite ESPN NBA commentator, Mark Jackson. Jackson coached the Warriors for three seasons until he was fired in 2014, one year before Steph Curr...
Former Kings Executive Sentenced To Seven Years In Prison For Repurposing $13.4 Million Of Sponsorship Loot
Former Sacramento Kings and Miami Heat chief revenue officer Jeffrey David was sentenced to seven years in prison Monday for embezzling $13.4 million from two Kings sponsors in an arena naming rights scheme he executed in 2015. David pleaded guilty to wire fraud and aggravated identity theft charges...
NCAA President Threatens California Schools Over State Bill Allowing College Athletes To Make Money
Earlier this year, two California state senators introduced SB 206, much to the chagrin of NCAA bureaucrats. The bill, which is also known as the Fair Pay To Play Act, would allow college athletes to make money off of their own names, images, and likenesses starting in January 2023. The state Senate...
MMA Fighter Penalized For Kicking Opponent In The Butthole Area
MMA rules allow fighters to use a rather comprehensive suite of techniques to knock out or choke their opponents into submission, but even in a sport this brutal, some parts of the body are off limits. I’m talking, of course, about the butthole area....