ac Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Jaguars Don't Want To Wait For Their Hamstrung Running Back
Jaguars running back Leonard Fournette lasted for about one half in the team’s season opener before he injured his hamstring. He missed two games, returned for Week 4 against the Jets, and hurt his hamstring again. After being ruled out for Sunday, Fournette will now miss three straight games. Jacks...
San Francisco Giants Owner Charles B. Johnson Donated To Super PAC That Made That Super-Racist Radio Ad
A super PAC called Black Americans for the President’s Agenda paid for a staggeringly racist radio ad in support of Mr. Peanut-looking-ass Arkansas congressman French Hill that dropped yesterday. The ad was targeted towards black voters (the PAC ran a similar ad in Missouri) and it features two cari...
Here Is Just A Totally Absurd Von Miller Highlight
Few things on a football field are easier to overlook than what goes on at the line of scrimmage. But sometimes a player does something so spectacular within that grunting tangle of limbs and padding that it can’t help but stand out as a highlight. Von Miller is one player capable of producing such ...
Gosh, I Really Hope The Red Wings Can Manage To Win A Game This Year
They tried really hard. That’s really the best thing you can say about the Red Wings’ relatively close but still inevitable 3-1 loss to the Lightning on Thursday night. The Wings hung with the Bolts throughout the whole game, but eventually found themselves outdone by just a top-notch performance fr...
The Cardinals Shouldn't Be Allowed To Do This To David Johnson
The Arizona Cardinals, a team brewed in the depths of a toilet, possess a great gift. They have David Johnson, which means they have something that many NFL teams do not have: a running back who can stay on the field for all three downs and is just as dangerous as a receiver as he is a runner. Someo...
The Red Sox's Superiority Starts At The Bottom
The World Series starts Tuesday night, and it’ll start at Fenway Park for the simple reason that the Red Sox are the best. They were the best team in the regular season—108 wins, fewer than it probably could have been had they not been allowed to take their foot off the gas after essentially clinchi...
The Arizona Cardinals Are Toilet Soup
Von Miller called his shot earlier this week when he said his team would kick the Arizona Cardinals’ asses. The Broncos, who had lost four straight, had planned to take out their frustrations in tonight’s game. The hopeless bird men were happy to oblige....
Anthony Duclair Eats Shit, Gets Up, Scores Amazing Goal
Young Blue Jackets forward Anthony Duclair looked a little overeager to receive the puck with tons of space in the offensive zone in the first period tonight against the Flyers. And when Duclair skated in on net, a sudden attempt to change direction ended with him splatting on the ice....
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in th...
It's Apparently Time To Recap The First 3/8 Of The NFL Season
Wow, there sure are a lot of sports happening right now. Ordinarily that would be the sort of sentence that you’d end with an exclamation point, but honestly a period of this much sports—the giddy but tension-free start of the NBA season, which is already happening, the giddier and extremely tense e...
Teen Baked Her Grandpa's Ashes Into Sugar Cookies, Fed Them To Peers
Andy Knox, a student at Da Vinci Charter Academy in California, told KRCA-TV how he came across the dead grandpa cookies. “Two weeks ago, I was just about to go into my sixth-period class, environmental science, and a girl who was also in the class stopped me and asked me if I wanted a cookie. And I...
David Ortiz Went Nuts In The Studio For Jackie Bradley Jr.'s Grand Slam
A transcript to the best of our abilities, for the hearing impaired, can be found below:...
The Brewers Hate Manny Machado's Guts
Spicy times in the wee hours! A lengthy and bizarre Game 4 ended in the 13th with, of course, a Manny Machado slide. That’s not the close call the Brewers are thinking about, though....
Manny Machado's Wonderful Slide Finally Puts Everyone To Bed
The Dodgers scored a run in the first inning of tonight’s NLCS Game 4, and then the Brewers matched them with a run in the fifth, sending starter Rich Hill to go terrorize some Halloween treats in the dugout. And then, in a bizarre occurrence only rarely seen at a baseball game, a temporary black ho...
Manny Machado Probably Kicked Jesús Aguilar's Ankle On Purpose
Manny Machado is back in the postseason spotlight for the wrong reasons. In the bottom of the 10th, the Dodger hit a grounder to shortstop for what should have been a routine out at first. Machado decided to break the routine by kicking Brewers infielder Jesús Aguilar in the ankle after he was calle...
Roberto Osuna Meltdown Lets Red Sox Run Away With Game 3
Heading into Game 3 of the ALCS, Astros reliever Roberto Osuna hadn’t pitched in 10 days, since Houston’s Game 2 win against Cleveland. He probably wishes he hadn’t pitched today, either....
State Senator Karin Housley, Wife Of Sabres Head Coach, Once <em></em>Compared Michelle Obama To A Chimp
Karin Housley is a state senator in Minnesota and the wife of Buffalo Sabres head coach Phil Housley. She is also, according to the Huffington Post, one of those people who liked to make racist jokes on Facebook during the Obama administration....
The Packers' All-Out Blitz Won The Day
The focus is rightly going to be on the final two drives, Aaron Rodgers leading the Packers a combined 139 yards for two scores in a total of just 2:12, including a textbook 10-play, 81-yard drive that used up every last second of the 1:07 remaining. “It’s part of going against the best quarterback ...